So you feel like quitting? That’s AMAZING! It means you are on the right track! What really? Ok seriously, you should listen to this episode as Miguel and Erin Carrasco share with you key strategies you must follow to Build The Boss Life!

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• Learn the four types of Success Sucking Rules and where they came from.

What To Do When You Feel Like Quitting – Transcript

I know I should do personal development, but what should I do? The Boss Life Podcast tells you exactly how to know what personal development is right for you, and what is not worth your time or money.

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Join The Science of Building Your Online Empire

Three Key Boss Points From Today’s Podcast

• Stop listening to the wrong people for advice.
• Start doing personal development yesterday!
• Stop trying to re-invent the wheel and instead model the successful.
• Stop waiting for other people to believe in you.
• Stop spending the money you’re earning, instead of investing it back in your business.

What Personal Development Is Worth Your Hard Earned Money

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how you decide what personal development is worth your hard-earned money.

Wow. You’re singing?

Karaoke time. You put a microphone in front of me, I will sing you a song. No, don’t worry. Keep listening. Please don’t hang, don’t hang up. Don’t hang up.

They’re not listening. Don’t worry. You’re not listening to the radio. We are going to talk about something valuable today.

So today we want to cover the topic of where you should invest your money in terms of personal development. We’ve talked about person development in the past. But want to be very clear so that you have a strategy in terms of what to invest in. Where does… and when we say invest, we don’t necessarily just mean money as well. We also mean your time, right? Because sometimes time is money, right? So what should you invest your time, your energy, your money into with personal development?

Let me start us off today, and let me frame this in a certain way. There’s different types of personal development that you can do, right? There’s one on one coaching with people mentorship. There’s podcasts like this one that you can listen to. There’s buying books and purchasing books. You could purchase courses and learn through courses that you purchase. You could do full immersion, which would be conferences. When you go to a conference, you’re fully immersed for four or five days and you really rapidly grow as a person. And personally, it’s really, there’s all these things. There’s even high end masterminds if you want to be around, incredible people. We’re a part of a few masterminds. There are so many things that you could engage in. One of the first things that you should ask yourself is how do you best learn?

How do you best learn as a person? Because I’ve learned over the years working with thousands of clients that at the end of the day, you could have the best conference in the world, but if someone is just a strict introvert, they do not want to be in a conference and they’re going to walk in there, they’re going to know. It is much better for them to even possibly get notes from people or buy the online version of the conference and watch it from home, take notes, and they will learn so much more than even flying to the conference. Now, there’s some people on the other hand, who just love being extroverted, or maybe they’re introverted, but they’re okay with sitting in a conference room and just really immersing themselves and taking massive action.

There’re some people that love listening to audible and audio books and things like this and but they don’t love to read. And so I would never suggest to anyone to do something that isn’t going to be enjoyable, right? So you kind of need to ask yourself, how do you best learn? Do you enjoy sitting by a fire, having a glass of wine, reading a book and learning? Or would you rather drive in the car and listen to a podcast and then get back to their desk and take some notes? It really kinda depends on people.

I think that one of the things that we haven’t necessarily talked about with personal development is the time factor. I think a lot of times people leave this to the last thing that they have to do. They don’t necessarily prioritize working on themselves, to better themselves to their business. And so if you are one of those people who, this is your side hustle, right? So you’re trying to manage your time. You’re like, how am I going to fit in this time? Maybe you don’t have the time to go for a four day conference and maybe you only have the time between your drive, right?

So many of you guys are probably listening to us in your car and like that’s the time that you have to better yourself. So you also have to look at your timeframe that you have to do the learning. So if you have time and you want to get a podcast in, get an audio book in, when you’re driving, that’s the way that I started to make time for my personal development because honestly, at the end of the day with a full time job and three kids, putting a book in front of my face was a sure way to fall asleep.

Yeah, that’s great. So let’s move on the next point.

If you look at yourself, and you look at the way you learn and you look at maybe what you liked, what you didn’t like, maybe someone said, “Hey, you should read this book. This book is really awesome.” And they give you this book and you’re like, “It’s sucks.” Right? Or maybe, you bought an audio book and you’re like, “Oh, I just, I can’t get into it.” Or maybe you did a course and you’re like, that’s not really where I’m at right now. You have to look at what you’ve liked in the past and what you didn’t like. And sometimes those things change.

I used to love reading books, physical books and I would read a lot of books. But what has happened as my life has become busier, I had to find different ways in order for me to get in the work that I needed to get in. And so for me, what I like now is not what I liked then. And so just so you know, that can change for you. So if that’s the case, maybe you tried to listen to a podcast years ago and now you’re listening to it and it’s really working for you. That’s part of the plan.

I love it. So hopefully, I’m going to be a little selfish here. Hopefully you love podcasts and you love our the best, right? So hopefully you’re learning a lot of stuff. Let’s go on to the next one, which is really, what’s… some people don’t know, like there’s so much information, right? It used to be that 2030 years ago you have to go to a library. I remember wanting to learn, I was really addicted to chess back in the day. I loved it. And I’m showing you guys look Geeky I was. And I go to the library and was trying to take out a specific book, right? Like maybe I wanted Garry Kasparov Teaches Chess. Well, it wasn’t in the library then I couldn’t get it, right? It was, and I had to wait until someone returned it and sometimes you don’t, wouldn’t it?

My point is it used to be really hard to get information. It used to be really hard to get information. Now we live in an era where information is everywhere. It’s almost like information overload. You know, you can learn from so many people. You could learn anything this moment right now. The second so how do you know what you should be spending your time on? How do you know which podcast to listen to? How do you know which books to take out? How do you know what conference to attend to. This point is very important. What you need to do is to focus on what’s the next thing that your business needs in order to grow.

So maybe you write this down. If you’re not driving, what’s the next thing that your business needs in order to grow? That’s what you should be focusing on because listen if there’s a hundred steps in growing a business to the point where you want it to get to, if you’re starting point 0 you don’t need to be investing time in point 32. You don’t need to be investing time in point 3. You need to be investing time in point 1 followed by point 2 followed point 3.

It’s really all about baby steps, right? If you took a baby that doesn’t know how to walk yet and you said, “All right, we’re going to learn how to do a jumping Jack pushups, or we’re going to how to do sprints.” It would never happen, right? It would never happen. It’s all about like to use the analogy baby steps, right? You really have to learn to walk before you can run. You got to learn to run before you can start running. You know, 10K you gotta learn to do a 10K before you can do a 15. You got to learn to do a half before you can do a full marathon. That’s just the way life is and it’s the same in your business. I’m telling you right now, there are a lot of people that fail to start their business or fail their business because they’re trying to learn things, but they have no business learning.

You really got to figure out, so right now I’ll say as an example, you’re getting started. You know, maybe you don’t have an Instagram account set up. Maybe you don’t even have a website set up. All that stuff. Your, you know, your step one is to figure out, you know, how to do Instagram properly. You don’t need to figure out how to create like XYZ thing down the road in four years. You don’t need to figure out how to run a conference yet, right? There’s no point in you investing time on how to learn. How to run an incredible conference. You know, we’re running a conference in July for about 1500 people at a beautiful hotel. But if we had started there seven years ago, this business would not have gotten off the ground.

So really what I want you to understand is right now is think about what’s the next thing you need to learn your business. And a lot of you, that’s why you’re listening to this podcast is because you don’t know what all those steps are. So this podcast is unlocking all those secrets to you, but you really need to invest your time. And what’s the next thing that your business needs in order to grow?

And I think that you have to look at, what are the different types of things that you need to learn and grow with. Some of these different avenues that you can go in and learn from like audio books or podcasts. You’re like, I don’t know what I should read next, or I don’t know what I should learn next, right? And as long as it’s in line with that next step, that one foot in front of the other, asking somebody that is where you want to go, you know a recommendation of a book that maybe has changed their life or you know, even an audible, like, I love getting recommendations from audible because it looks at what I’ve read in the past and it’s like, “Oh hey, these are pretty similar things for you.” Those are always good ways to get your next piece of personal development.

This is audible. Well, that’s pretty good.

That was pretty good. Your impressions are on point today.

On point. All right.

All right. So let’s look at the next one. I think this is a really important one, especially if you’re just starting out in your business. There’re are probably a lot of you who are listening to this, who you’re pretty well established, and your options are going to be different once you’ve kind of built your business up to a certain level. But you have to look at the budget that you have. How much are you currently making in your business and, how does that affect what you spend it on? I think the more that we’ve earned in our business, it’s enabled us to spend more, I think we spend the most of our entire budget of what we earn is on personal development.

Yeah, absolutely. I think… like for us, personally, we spend about 30 to 40% of what we make basically back into personal development. Like this year alone, we’ll probably spend well over $100,000. I would say, just in, just in conferences that we’re attending, let alone everything else that we’re doing. We’re in masterminds that we’re spending some money. And we just yesterday we were doing another mastermind with some high end people, Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi, and we’re in a mastermind with a whole bunch people, Russell Brunson. Like people you might not even know, right? And the whole point of that is that we’re trying to learn from the best. But again, if we had just gotten started and we had made no money in business and we went and dropped $50,000 in a mastermind-

That would be a bad plan.

It would be a very bad plan. And it’d be all over. And you could say, well, you’re going to learn from the best. Yeah, but if you’re learning from the best, then you have literally no money to put back into the business, then you’re going to have struggle, right? So I would say you don’t want to start there. You want to start based on what your budget is based on where you’re at.

A lot of you are starting free with podcasts, right? And I think that, that’s brilliant of you. And you’ll have to look at that as, even though it’s free for you right now, you are getting… if you think of the amount that we spend on our personal development, you’re learning from us and what we’re learning from other people. And if the only thing that you can afford this year is a $20 book, then that’s what you can afford. But don’t just read a billion books and be like, “Yay, I read like a hundred bucks this year.” Because one of the worst things I see our clients do is they’re like, “Oh, I’m going… you know what? There’s that challenge. I’m going to read 52 books this year.” And so you read 52 books, you realize there are a lot about the same thing and then you implement nothing. One of my favorite analogy is, is this. If you go to a gym and you read the manual for the treadmill, are you going to lose any weight? No. You have to get your butt on the treadmill, right?

That’s so good. I was just at the gym. There’s was a lady reading the manual. No, I’m kidding. Well she kind of was, she was looking and pushing all the buttons. She stood there pushing all the buttons for literally five minutes.

Yeah.

And then she got off about 20 seconds later.

But that’s the whole thing with personal development that it doesn’t matter how much money you spend, it doesn’t matter how many books you read, how many conferences you go to. If you do nothing with the information in your head, your knowledge is not power unless you take action.

Totally. So the last thing I really want to talk to you about is the difference between business development and personal development. Because these are two completely really different things.

They overlap a little bit, but they are different things that you can work on.

They’re very different. So why don’t you go ahead and kick us off and I’ll jump in and interrupt as usual. I’m kidding.

If I look at business development, when I was first getting started in my business, I was like, “Oh, personal development.” I have to read a book that tells me how to be better, or get over my crap or anything else like that. I thought that that was the only personal development I need to do. However, I might need to learn how to host a successful Webinar, or I might need to learn how to record a podcast, or I might need to learn how to upload certain files to a Google Drive. There are so many different things that you need to run your business that just because it’s not personal development where you’re working on the insides of you, it doesn’t mean that it’s not business development. It’s not important. And it doesn’t mean that you should just do either, right? You have to do both.

Yeah. You absolutely have to do both. Like for me, as an example, there’s those different things that I’m working on personally. So there’s personal stuff, personal reflection stuff that I’m working on that changes all the time. Then there’s also business development, right? There’s business development, which is like, as an example, when we were creating this podcast, I already knew, and this is another one about being open to coaching. I already knew a lot technically, I’m a very technical person. I knew the microphones, I knew the setups, I need the softwares. I knew all the stuff I could probably had figured it out. But I also knew that there were people that were better at me at execution, right?

And I wanted that execution game plan, right? And so what I did is I actually, like I’ve mentioned before, we bought a course and that course… and by the way, you don’t have to spend a lot of money. That course wasn’t that much. And we executed the game plan back to what Erin had said before. I could have bought the course, I could have let it sit there and not done anything. A, I could have bought the course, watched every video and nothing anything. B, or what I did is I bought the course and when they said do this, I paused the video, I went and did it and I went onto the next one. I mean, and to me like that is just common sense.

But it’s not.

I don’t understand [crosstalk]

Well, common sense is in common, right? And I think that, that’s where we get mixed up. Is that we think that just ’cause we do this or we buy this, that all of a sudden it’s magically going to happen.

Right? And so that’s why you have to do this. So, business development is critically important to your business, but at the same time… the point where I wanted to make there, is that the personal development is what made me complete that course, right? So I bought the business development course. So that’s development, but doing the personal development, the things I’ve done for years with Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, all these things that got me to a point to just naturally know to execute on what I was learning like that didn’t just happen overnight. That was like 10, 15 years of failing. That was a lot of years of buying stuff and not doing anything.

And so, I finally learned the lesson. And so those things work together. You can’t just listen to this podcast and go and execute stuff if deep down inside you have issues with confidence, right? If you’re really struggling with confidence in your life, all the business development you’re doing on the planet is not going to save you because you’re not going to have the confidence in yourself to implement anything that you’re learning.

Yeah. And I think that if you look at the two different kinds of development that you need to do to build a successful business, there’s some that you’re going to be so uncomfortable with that you’re like, no, I don’t want to do it. And that’s the one that either you need to pay someone to do it for you so you have to make a lot of money in order for that to happen or that’s the one that you are supposed to be doing right now. The stuff that you’re uncomfortable with. You know, my introvert is out there, oh, you know, I wish I could put my arms not around you ’cause I know you wouldn’t like that. But you know, I really want you guys to understand that if you’re looking at extroverts or people you think are extroverted, and you’re like, “Oh, I can’t ever be like them.”

You have to start working on that because you have a certain gift that is so, so, so important for the world that if you don’t work on those things that you are allowing to hold you back, then no one’s going to benefit from that light that’s shining inside you, but you’re not letting out.

That’s huge. That’s huge. Hopefully these five lessons, have given you a lot to think about. We’re going to move onto the challenge. Let me just summarize a couple of, some of the points that we’ve talked about. So number one, we were trying to figure out what person development to do a or business development to do. And number one, ask yourself, how do you best learn? Just think about it. Just write down like how do you best learn and then start there. You don’t have to read a book. If you hate reading, don’t make yourself read a book. Listen to a podcast. If you don’t learn either way. Find a conference, attend the conference. Figure out which way you learn. Number two is what you done in the past. What you done in the past that that you enjoyed, that you liked. How how did you best learn in school? What was that one class? That one teacher that really got you fired up and just… you were all in and you’ve learned so much better.

Number three, what’s the next thing that you need to learn in your business? That you need guidance on right now, this moment, this second. Maybe it is confidence. Maybe you’ve learned so much for the last five, 10 years you’ve implemented nothing but it’s time for someone to teach you exactly how to get confident and take massive action. If that’s what you need, then that’s the next step, right? That’s the next step. Not figuring out how to write a blog post, not figuring out how to do Instagram.

Your next step number four is what type of budget do you have right now? Don’t go blow the budget on something that you don’t have the money to get into yet. I’ll tell you a little secret, a lot of what we’re developing for the Boss Life is to get you from point A to point B to point C to Point D gradually. And so that one day, you will be able to spend incredible amounts of money maybe on masterminds because you know what? It’s going to take you to that next level, but you can’t start there, right? You got to start small and you’ve got to build up from there. So figure out what your budget is. Of course, if your budget is high, then maybe you do start there. But if your budget’s low, then don’t worry about it, then you, it’s more about what you need, not how much you spend.

Number five is know the difference between business development and personal development. I honestly truly believe that personal development in a lot of ways is way more important than business development. That you can learn anything. But if you don’t have the personal growth on relationships, on yourself, if you don’t have the confidence to execute on all the stuff you’re learning, you’re just going to struggle your entire life. But there’s not a secret out there that you can’t learn right now. But there is one secret and that really is personal development. So with that Erin, why don’t we end with a really awesome challenge for them.

I think that one of the best challenges for this particular podcast is maybe you haven’t tried an audio book before. Maybe you haven’t tried a course before. Maybe that’s something that you’re… I want you to look into a different kind of method of personal development and you more than that. I want you to look at the different development you’re doing right now and is it the right one for you? Is it the right one that’s going to get you to that next step in your business? And if it’s not, I want you to put it down and pick something else up because that is not going to serve you to read a book that someone said, “Hey, you need to read this book.” And it’s not speaking to you. I want you to make sure that you know that you’re the owner of your life. You’re the boss. So you get to decide what you’re going to do with your personal development. One other challenge I’m going to leave you with today is kind of like part two of the challenge.

Part two? Before you say that there is this is really cool book I read. You need to read it. I’m kidding. On that too, ’cause we’ve talked about relationships they’re like one thing I’ve learned ’cause I used to do that. I used to be like, “Hey, you should go check this out. This is awesome.”

I’d be like, no.

Like this sucks.

No, I just, yeah-

So my trick now is I’ll play a video and I’ll be like, “Hey, look what I’m watching. What do you do? What do you think?

And then I’ll kind of walk away ’cause it’s not nice.

It depends.

It depends. In a way it depends on what you need at the moment and the moment changes, right? So what you needed five years ago, and maybe you picked up a book in five years ago, you weren’t ready for it, right? And maybe you’re ready for it now. So that’s always going to change. But one thing I want to do for part two, so part two, I want you guys to take a piece of action. So look at what you’re doing right now. I’m pretty sure in that little book-

I got a little excited there. I think it might take a little piece of energy.

A little piece of action that… I want you guys to look at the personal development that you’re doing right now. I guarantee that there’s an action step in there today. I guarantee there’s either a worksheet with it or an actionable item because most people don’t put out stuff without challenges. Or if they do, then that sucks.

That’s awesome. That’s great. So hopefully you got a lot out of this episode of the Boss Life podcast. With that we’d like to end all of our episodes reminding you something that’s critically important. I really think, and we say it, let me explain a little bit today. When we say

[inaudible]

employee mindset and start living the Boss Life and we’re going to do an episode fully on this, right, Erin?

Yup.

It’s going to be really exciting, is really, we want you to think differently. We want you to step outside the box. We really think that too many people right now are living in that employee mindset.

I think that a lot of the times it’s because they’ve been conditioned into it doesn’t mean that you’re bad, it’s just being the way that you’ve been brought up.

Yeah. And the cool thing is that you all have a gift to those people that are living in this employee mindset. But you have this gift inside of you. You’ve got something to share with the world, and it’s really time to let that out. And you can’t let that out without really having… starting to live the boss life. So with that, we want to remind you to ditch the employee mindset.

And start living the boss life.

We’ll see you in the next episode.

Bye guys.

Are you ready to start living the boss life? But you don’t know where to start.

Or maybe you already have a business, but you’re not getting the results you want.

Head over to the bosslife.com/start to join our group, The Science of Building Your Online Empire.

Where we walk you through the daily process of rocking your online business.

Surround yourself with aspiring entrepreneurs.

And bosses that are already crushing it in their business.

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We hope you have an incredible day.

Your spouse or significant other doesn’t support your new business idea! Your Dream! Your Baby! Now what do you do? In this episode of The Boss Life Podcast Miguel and Erin give you key strategies to make sure your spouse gets on your side.

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Resources From Today’s The Boss Life Podcast

The Boss Life Find Your Business Quiz

Three Key Boss Points From Today’s Podcast

• Make sure you have explained to them what your side hustle is all about.
• Schedule a time to talk to them about the side hustle, and what exactly you are going to try and achieve and by when.
• Involve them in your new business so they can feel a part of this new exciting time in your life.

What To Do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Support Your Side Hustle – Episode 7 Transcription

In today’s episode, we’re gonna talk about what to do when your spouse doesn’t support your side hustle.

All right, this is an interesting topic because you live with this person.

And we have personal experience with this topic, and I will out myself. When Miguel first started one of his businesses, I was just so not interested in him starting yet another business, and I was just not into the business itself.

You weren’t into my business idea?

No.

That I was so fired up and excited about?

You were so fired up, and I was just not having it. I’m like, “You already work so many hours, and you’re gonna do yet another thing? Who knows if it’ll work?”

So we really wanna give you five tips around this, because if this is you right now, if you’re listening to this and you’re like, “Yeah, that’s me,” there’s no way I can change this. There are actually five things you can do to really improve the situation, and we’ve worked with thousands of people over the last few years, and we know that this works. So listen up, hopefully this is gonna be a great episode for you.

So the first thing that we wanna dive into, maybe I’ll let Erin start this topic because, as she outed herself, she was the first one to try and say that my idea was not a great thing, and …

I was like, “You should quit doing this.”

… maybe I should quit. She told me I should quit.

I did, and I’m glad he didn’t listen to me. But we’re gonna talk about kinda the journey I think that your partner goes on when you start another business, or you start a side hustle. And I think sometimes it’s not that your spouse doesn’t necessarily want you to do it. It’s that they don’t necessarily understand why you’re doing another business.

You didn’t get it?

Yeah, I didn’t get it. Because I was like, “Dude, you’re already working 60 hours a week, when are you gonna have time for the family and for me? If you start this thing …” And this kinda moves into … Let’s move into the second point, which is sometimes spouses feel like when you’re doing something, or your partner feels, when you’re doing something that doesn’t involve them, you are creating a life that doesn’t include them. So they feel outside of what you’re doing.

That’s true, they feel disconnected. A big thing I will say, because I don’t wanna brush over it, the first thing is that it’s not that they just don’t understand it, the big thing … You really need to explain to them why it is that you’re doing this business.

I think a lot of times when we get excited, you’re listening to a podcast and you get really fired up and you’re like, “Oh my gosh, I gotta do that thing they were just talking about,” and then you just go home and you start doing it. Especially if you’re an entrepreneur, if you’re like me, you’ve got a million ideas floating around in your head all the time, and you just gotta execute on them.

So if that’s you, you really gotta stop for a minute and just understand that they may not understand what it is that you’re doing, so you should really try and maybe bring them in on it. As an example, let’s say you get excited about something specific, let’s just say you get excited about a network marketing company or something like that, you get excited with real estate, pick your thing, you get excited about it.

Maybe the first thing that you could do is you could invite your spouse to go to an event, or experience it with you, and kinda get to see what it is. And they may say no, and that’s totally fine, but for example, in the business that I was doing, I was writing these things called Fit Club, I’d do these workouts basically every Sunday for free.

And again, Erin would be like, “Wait a minute, so now not only are you taking time away from the family, and trying to build this side business, now you’re gonna do workout classes for free?” And I was like, “Yeah, it’s gonna help with the community, it’s gonna create goodwill, and it’s gonna-”

And I had to drag all three kids to this free thing every Sunday night.

And even though she didn’t necessarily support it, she started to understand it more. Because by her being there, and seeing people showing up and shaking my hand and being excited that we were running these free things for the community, she started to understand where this was starting to head.

And the impact that you were having, I think, on other people is one thing that … When your partner sees that there’s joy in the other person, and what they’re doing is bringing them joy, their position kind of changes.

Yeah, and that’s, going back to the second point, why these two kinda tie together, is if you can include your spouse in the things that you’re doing … And again, the reason I wanted to give that example, it doesn’t mean that I told Erin, “Hey, you gotta join my business and become a partner with me.” It was more like, “Hey, I’m heading out to Fit Club, do you wanna come? I’m gonna bring the kids.”

I wouldn’t say, “Hey, you bring the kids, and I can run Fit Club and you can watch.” It was like, “Hey, I’m bringing the kids anyway, do you wanna come get out of the house and do a workout?” There’s things that you gotta look for opportunities to bring your spouse into it, and anywhere that you can engage them …

Maybe as it goes, and we’ll get into this in a second, maybe you start having some success with your business. Depending on your business, maybe you earned a trip somewhere, or there’s something coming up. If you can bring them along with that, then again they’re gonna be able to experience what it is that you’re doing.

Yeah, and I think that one of the things you kinda touched upon is don’t drag them, don’t force them, don’t say, “You have to do this, and I’m excited for this so you have to do this.” Because the moment you say that to your partner, “You gotta do this,” they’re gonna be like, “No I don’t.”

I don’t have to do anything. And that goes to my next point, the third point is it’s your dream. It’s not their dream. We talked about this before on a few lives that we’ve done on Facebook and stuff, if you watched those. But really, understand that when you come up with an incredible business idea, or you get really excited about something, understand that the first person you wanna tell is your spouse, right?

And they’re not gonna be fired up. I mean, they may be, maybe you’re got a perfect scenario there going on. But most times they will not be fired up by you coming home and saying, “Hey, I’m so excited. I’m about to start this thing, it’s gonna take time away from the fam, it’s gonna be so cool, here’s my vision, here’s my dream.” Because it’s not meant to be their dream, and many times it may never become their dream. It may never be their dream, the dream that you have.

If you talk about the iPhone, Steve Jobs changed the world with the iPhone, but what came first? The iPhone or the idea of the iPhone? The idea of the iPhone, and it had to be Steve Jobs that made it a reality because everyone else thought it was ridiculous.

Now, everyone has a smartphone that is a web browser and a phone device and a music player. But when the iPhone first came out, everybody thought that was ridiculous. Not only that, but to spend $1,000 on a cell phone back then was insane. So he had to bring it to reality with nobody believing in him. He was mocked by the business community.

That’s just what’s gonna happen as you come forward, especially if your idea is good. If you have a great idea, then that means it’s a game-changing idea, and chances are literally no one will believe in it. So don’t look and don’t wait for that, because if you wait for someone to come back to you and say, “That is such a great idea, you should absolutely do it,” then you’re gonna be very disappointed.

And the last tip is if you are someone that just needs that reassurance, then at least make sure you’re talking to someone that has done the business that you’re going to try and do. If you get excited about a franchise, or you get excited about joining a marketing company, whatever it may be, don’t ask someone that has had no success in it if they think it’s a great idea.

Yeah, the biggest mistake we see is that I think they wanna involve their partner or their family, and then they go to their family who’s never done what they’re about to do, and they take all their advice. So you have to look at is that person qualified to give you advice on what you’re about to do? And that’s not to say that your family’s opinion’s not important, but you have to judge its weight.

It’s kinda like fitness and [inaudible] kind of stuff. I wouldn’t go to my accountant necessarily, it might be, but I wouldn’t go to my accountant that I have to say, “Hey, could you give me some tips on how to lose 40 pounds?” It doesn’t mean he’s not smart, he’s a super-genius at what he does, but I’m not gonna ask him for fitness advice.

Exactly. And I think one thing that I just wanna touch upon here is that when you are trying to involve your partner, I think sometimes the way that our partners can support us, or even do a business with us, is gonna be very different than the way we do the business. If I look at even our marriage, we have completely different strengths. If I was expecting Miguel to be another me in my business, I’m missing all of his gifts. So I think that if you are wanting to bring your partner into your business, you can’t expect them to be you. You’re not cloning yourself.

Exactly. Let’s go on to the fourth point. The fourth one I think is really important because when I started one of our other businesses that did very, very well, and it’s still doing incredibly well, again, there wasn’t a lot of support there. I was bringing Erin to some of the events and things like that, so her belief was growing, but really I knew that what it was gonna take was for some financial success, some wins for all this time I was investing into this business.

So at that point I started telling her my vision of potentially, if I was able to build this to a certain number, potentially I could leave my full-time job and just do this business, work from home, spend more time with the kids and support around the home so that she wouldn’t have to do it all on her own with our three kids.

See, now I’m talking to her. When I started speaking that language, Erin started listening at that point. She starts listening now because she’s like, “Wait a minute, okay, this could work. And if this does work, then I’ll get my husband back and I won’t have to have him travelling all the time,” as I was doing. It wasn’t that I didn’t like my other job, I loved my other job, but it was just that I wanted to spend more time with my family. So when you start speaking like that to your spouse, that results-driven, it’s very hard to ignore that.

But even then, Erin’s famous words when I would tell her, “Hey look, next week we’re gonna make X, Y, Z,” and she’d say …

Show me, don’t tell me.

Show me, don’t tell me. Show me, don’t tell me. I’d be like, “Hey, look, we’re gonna …” So you have to work your way through this process, it’s always gonna be a process. But the more financial wins that you can get, and show results, even if its not financial, if you can just show that you’re personally growing yourself, or you’re getting a physical result, or an emotional result, mindset result, as long as your spouse sees some results there, they’re gonna start supporting you more and more.

Right, and I think this kinda moves into our next point, which is really the keystone of all of this. It’s really managing your expectations with your partner, and making sure that … We’ve talked a little bit about this, but making sure you have that conversation with them about why is this bringing you joy, and why is this igniting your soul, and what does it mean for your relationship with them.

And if they are already supporting you, are you celebrating their support? Are you thanking them? Can you do a public post that says, “Wow, my partner’s been so supportive of this, I wouldn’t be able to do this without them.” Because then, even if they’re not in your business at this point, they feel supported, they feel acknowledged, they feel part of it. And I think that’s half the battle, is just getting them to feel part of something, even if they’re not doing it.

Yeah, that’s huge. And I think the more you can make it crystal clear what the outcomes will be … Just to give you an example, let’s say you were gonna start a health and fitness business

Maybe the expectations are like, “Hey, listen, I’m gonna spend 10 hours a week, or 15 hours a week, on myself. Some of that’s gonna be working out, some of that’s gonna be personal development, some of that’s gonna be trying to build a little bit of a business framework here on social media. Are you okay with that, Erin, if I do that for myself? Because I feel like I really need to do that. And that’s gonna be my year one focus.

“If I can do that and I can get results, I can lose 80 pounds, in a year or two my goal’s gonna be maybe to start helping other people and teach them what I’m doing and start to build a business that way, and my goal would be in year two maybe to earn, let’s pick a number here, $20,000 a year.”

But if I have that conversation, and I sit down with Erin, versus me not having that conversation and just starting to do stuff and going on social media and posting what I’m doing and going to classes, and I’m just doing it without even talking to my spouse … And this is almost relationship advice I guess at this point … You have to communicate.

Because when you don’t communicate, that’s typically where arguments come from, where disagreements come from, and a lot of times, if you think back at our biggest disagreements, it’s not necessarily because anyone was doing something to hurt the other person. A lot of times it’s just because someone was doing something and the other one had no clue why.

Yeah, because you can’t read someone else’s mind, right?

I’m a mind reader, I know everything.

I don’t know about that.

I could order at Starbucks with my eyes closed.

Yeah, no. I think that’s the other thing too, right? No one is a mind reader, you have to share what the support from your partner looks like, and really managing the expectation of, “How long is this really gonna take?” And if you look at any business, it doesn’t matter what business, you’re not just gonna walk in and be like, “Ooh, I’m super successful.” It’s gonna take a lot of work, and there’s gonna be a lot of ups and downs.

And I wanna say this to you right now, if you’re in that position where your spouse or your partner does not support you and you’re really struggling with that, I want you to understand that it can ebb and flow, it can go up and down. You might have had that conversation six months ago, but maybe you need to have that conversation again. Maybe their support, what you need from them now, has changed.

And I always use this analogy that, when you’re trying to get a business off the ground, imagine when you’re taking off in an airplane. When do you spend the most gas? At the very beginning when you’re trying to take off. If you have that conversation with them, saying, “Look, it’s not always gonna be like this. It’s not always gonna be like I’m spending all of this time.”

And I think the other thing too is that for most people, how do you build your business? Build it on your phone, right? And I think sometimes people can misunderstand that as they’re playing a game on their phone. That was my biggest thing.

When Miguel first started building one of our other businesses and I was expecting our third child … And I was exhausted, for those of you who are parents, you’re moms and you’ve been pregnant before, the first trimester you’re just sleeping all the time. So I was going to bed early, and he was staying up until 3 AM.

It actually worked out perfectly. I was like, “Sweet, good night,” and I would work my business and try and make it happen.

Yeah, but most of our clients, they were women looking to get into shape. So we had to have those conversations, and just be really clear and upfront about everything.

Yeah. And then the last one, before we go into the challenge, that I really wanna be really clear on is if your spouse isn’t supporting your business, I need you understand this, it’s really important, it’s not that they don’t love you. It’s that they really love you. What do I mean by that?

When people care about you, they wanna protect you. That’s the number one instinct, the number one show of affection, really. There’s intimacy and all these things, but really when someone truly loves you, they wanna protect you, they wanna keep you safe.

And the way that our brains have developed over time is that safe means consistent. Safe means no change. So a lot of times, no matter what, your spouse, your family, your friends, your mom, your dad, they’re gonna wanna keep you safe, so that means they’re gonna wanna keep you not changing. And they don’t mean that necessarily in a bad way, it’s that they love you.

When they come into something, if you don’t follow the tips that we just gave you, and you’re not telling them anything so they don’t understand what you’re doing, you’re not spending time to involve them in your business, you’re not sitting down with them and talking to them about what you’re doing, when you don’t do those things, then you’re almost forcing them to try and protect you and to tell you that whatever you’re doing is a bad idea.

So I really wanted to make that clear, especially if your spouse is sitting with you listening in the car, they’re doing that because they love you. So that’s a great thing, that’s an awesome thing.

And I think that sometimes that can come across that they don’t want you to fail. They don’t want you to feel hurt if something doesn’t work out, or if what you are trying to build fails. I look at the example of my kids. What do I always tell them to do? Be careful, you might fall, you might hurt yourself. That’s kind of what happens when someone starts something new, especially in your relationship. You don’t want them hurting.

Yeah, you don’t want them hurting. So we’ve given you guys a lot of things to think about, talk about, maybe listen to this podcast again if you want. As always, I really recommend … We cover a lot of these topics as well in our private Facebook group, if you wanna join that. What’s that group called again, Erin?

The Science of Building an Online Empire.

So if you wanna join that group, you can.

Let’s end this with a challenge as well for everybody. You ready for the challenge, Erin?

I am ready for the challenge.

Give them the challenge.

All right. So I hope you know where we’re going with this, and what everything has come together like in the last little bit that we’ve been chatting. I would love if you could sit down with the partner in your life, the spouse in your life, maybe it’s a family member, and I want you to have an open dialogue with them and ask them for support.

I think a lot of the times our miscommunication comes from us not telling people the support we need. You might say, “I need you to be supportive.” Well that’s not good enough, you have to tell them what that support looks like and why you need it.

Once you do that, manage your expectations. Tell them, “This is what evening is gonna look like,” and make sure you include them and say, “Hey, I’m gonna work really hard on this, but maybe once a week we do this, or maybe once every two weeks we do this,” so that you are still making time for them while you’re trying to build this amazing opportunity you’re trying to get off the ground.

I love that challenge. And a couple tips for that, I would say one, make sure, if you can, if you have kids, that they’re sleeping, maybe wait till they’re in bed. Wait till you have one-on-one time with your spouse, where you can sit down maybe by the dinner table, and maybe let them know when they come home from work, say, “Hey, listen, I have something exciting I wanna talk to you about-”

Yeah, don’t say like, “We need to talk.”

Don’t do that, because they’ll freak out, you’ve already set the tone badly. Just tell them, “I have something really exciting I wanna talk to you about when the kids are in bed, I think you’re gonna love it. I’m really excited about it.”

Yeah, make sure it’s the right time.

Yeah, “I just don’t wanna get into it right now, but I just want you to maybe set some time aside if you can today, 20 minutes once they’re in bed. If today doesn’t work, let’s do it tomorrow, no big deal.” And then once you have that time, you can sit down, and whatever you guys do, if you usually play cards or pour a glass of wine, or whatever it may be, maybe over dinner, however you-

Maybe go for a walk or something.

Yeah, go for a walk, whatever, leave the kids at home and go for a walk. I’m just kidding. Depending on their age-

Well, make sure that it’s legal to do so.

Yeah. And just be honest and real, be like, “Hey listen, I’m really excited about X, Y, Z, I’m so fired up about it. I know you probably don’t get it, and maybe you do, but I’m really excited about this,” and then let them speak. Maybe they are excited for you too, maybe not, doesn’t matter.

And then just be like, “So here’s the deal, I actually really want to make this a part of my life, I’m really excited about it. I’m gonna be actually committing a lot of stuff, I’m gonna be giving up these five things.” As an example, I’m not gonna watch … For me, it’d be, “I’m not gonna watch hockey anymore, I’m not gonna be playing video games anymore, I’m not gonna be spending time doing all these extracurricular things that I was doing, and I’ll put a lot of time back into this business because I really think it’s gonna work out really well for me.

“At the same time, it’s probably gonna mean that I’m not gonna be able to come home and watch TV or Netflix for two hours a day anymore, because I’m gonna be working on this business. But it’s really because I wanna grow something special for our family, and I think it’s gonna really pay off. We live in a unique time, I listened to this great podcast, The Boss Life, and I’m getting a lot of great tips from that, I’m engaging in their group. And I really wanna make this stuff happen.

“So I just wanted to let you know instead of just doing all this stuff and then you wondering what I’m doing. I really wanted to tell you that and I wanted to know what you thought about that, and where you’re at with that.”

And I think this is not your opportunity to sell them on your opportunity. This is the time to have a conversation, and once you put that out there, let them talk.

And don’t go, “And you’re gonna be my first customer.”

Yeah, no. But let them talk, and let them kind of digest what you said. And there might be some fear, apprehension, uncertainty with it, try not to get your back up. Because they’re trying to process what you just told them.

What you’ve been thinking about for years maybe.

Right, and that you just basically sprung it on them. Even though you didn’t. You just gotta give them some grace a little bit, and just have an open dialogue.

It’s like when Erin showed up one day with brown hair. She’s always had blonde hair, she shows up-

And he’s like, “What did you do?”

Cuts her long hair and it’s brown.

I was like, “What? What do you mean what did I do? I can’t change it now.” That was a great moment in our relationship.

If you want marriage advice …

Don’t listen to him.

This is why this is not The Marriage Podcast.

Anyways guys, that is our five big tips for you if your spouse doesn’t support your side hustle. We hope you take us up on the challenge today, because I think it will help you continue to build your business or get it off the ground.

Yeah, so with that we wanna make sure that you ditch the employee mindset.

And start living the boss life.

We’ll see you in the next episode.

Bye, guys.

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