So you feel like quitting? That’s AMAZING! It means you are on the right track! What really? Ok seriously, you should listen to this episode as Miguel and Erin Carrasco share with you key strategies you must follow to Build The Boss Life!

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What To Do When You Feel Like Quitting – Transcript

You posted on Social Media! You now have a business! WRONG! But so many people think this is the case. In today’s episode of The Boss Life Podcast, Erin and Miguel Carrasco share with you the truth about social media, and how you should be leveraging it to grow your business!

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Resources From Today’s The Boss Life Podcast

Join The Science of Building Your Online Empire

Three Key Boss Points From Today’s Podcast

• Learn the four types of Success Sucking Rules and where they came from.

Why Posting on Social Media isn’t enough to Grow Your Business – Transcript

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about why posting on social media isn’t enough to grow your business.

Hey Guess What?

So, I just spent the last eight hours scrolling my Facebook feed.

Sweet.

Then I made a cool post.

Did you get a lot of likes?

Tons of likes. Love it. Love it.

Any comments?

I’m an entrepreneur. Crushing it. Crushing it. I’m going to retire soon.

That sounds like the typical day of someone who’s just starting their online business. We really wanted to talk about this, because a lot of the people that we work with, a lot of our clients they start an online business, and they’re like okay, I need a social media presence. Then they start posting.

Well, isn’t that the first thing? I’m starting a business, I’ve got to buy my domain name and then I’m going to set up my Instagram.

Right.

Start doing some stories.

And stories and posts and cool filters and playing with all the apps that Erin and Miguel told me to get.

Do you know how many people have massive Instagram followings? Or Facebook accounts, but they haven’t made a penny?

It’s so surprising. There’s so many people out there.

It’s freaking massive. Today we want to give you some real value. Listen up, I hope you pay attention. We’re going to end a myth to get us started, and Erin’s going to get us started and then we’re also going to tell you what you really should be doing.

Right. So a lot of the people, if we look at when you’re starting your online business, maybe you did this at the beginning, or maybe you’re doing this right now, is that when we are working on social media, we don’t really have purpose. So we log into Facebook or Instagram and we’re scrolling the news feed, and we’re liking on stuff, and we’re commenting on stuff, but we’re not really doing it, maybe you have a certain amount, a goal, I’m going to like five posts today. I’m going to comment on three posts today, and I’m going to engage with people by liking their posts.

While that might have worked five or six years ago to build an online business, that does not work anymore. We want to make sure that you guys are putting your precious time to the best use. So when we say, scrolling and calling it working, sometimes we say that to ourselves because it makes us feel good. We don’t really know what we’re doing on social media.

I get it right. Can I tell you something else? We’re going to get into some cool points here, but can I share some bombs with them?

Yeah do it.

Maybe a big bomb. I get it. You want to do the exciting stuff.

The fun stuff.

Everybody wants to do the fun stuff.

Totally.

I’ll tell you right now, the biggest reason, if you’ve started businesses before, and they haven’t worked out, I’m not saying you specifically, but when I work with clients, we’ve worked with so many, I can tell you that 99% of the time they haven’t succeeded because they focused on doing the fun stuff, and they never did the hard stuff.

What do you mean? You can’t just do the fun stuff?

You cannot just do the fun stuff.

Dammit.

In relationships, you can’t just do the fun stuff. With your kids you can’t just do the fun stuff. In life, you can’t do the fun stuff so, why people would think that they can just do the fun stuff in business and succeed is beyond me. It blows my mind.

I think a lot of it come from people who are building a side hustle. Not necessarily, say you bought a franchise, and you’re going on all, right. That’s also the problem when you’re building a side hustle.

We started a Boss Life Instagram account abut two years after we had thought about the idea and about eight months after we had actually said, okay this is exactly what we’re going to do, and about three months after we started building our website. It was one of the last things that we did, and we’re going to talk to you guys about that, but number one thing, the first thing I want you guys to understand is, you’ve got to stop just scrolling Facebook. If you’re driving home right now, and the first thing you’re going to do is start scrolling Facebook when you get home, you’ve got to listen up here for one second. Facebook makes money by you wasting time on Facebook.

If you want to make them more money, then keep doing that. But if you want to make money on Facebook, if that’s what you want to do, then you need to understand that you really just got to stop scrolling when you get home and instead, you should start thinking about the things we’re about to tell you.

I think that, one last thing I’m going to add just about this post is that, this point, is that.

Are you thinking about posting?

I am thinking about posting, and that’s something we’ll talk about too is the intention. When you guys are checking your phones, and you’re looking at your little red notification button, how many of you guys, it drives you nuts when you have 50 notifications just sitting there, and you’re like, I’ve got to look at them all. The reason we do that is, we’re addicted to the little hits of dopamine.

I’m addicted to you.

That’s not a song.

But I want it and I need it. I’m addicted to you. That’s old and it was bad.

Wow, that was bad. Anyways, the reason we do it guys, and the reason everybody does it, is that, and there are apps that you can get, and you can turn off those little notifications in the settings on your phones, which I highly encourage you guys to do when you’re learning to build your business and there’s also times not to do it if you’re running an ad, but I won’t get into that right now. The reason we do it is because we get little hits of dopamine. We’re like, oh we feel important.

What is dopamine?

It’s a chemical in your brain that makes you feel good and happy and loved.

Slow your roll. There’s chemicals in my brain.

Chemicals in your brain. So when we get a little notification it means someone interacted with us or commented on something of ours or liked something of ours, and it makes us feel good. That’s the biggest trickiest thing that happens is that we feel like we’re adding value because we’re getting these likes and comments, and it makes us feel good, but it doesn’t actually mean we’re doing any purposeful work.

Right, so you’ve got to flip this thing on its head. You’ve got to stop becoming the consumer, and the person that’s addicted to all these notifications, and you have to be the person feeding other people.

You’ve got to be the drug dealer.

You’ve got to be the dopamine dealer.

There you go.

I said dopamine, I did not say the other word, right. So that’s a very big key thing. Now that you’ve realized that you’re going to stop scrolling, you’re going to stop wasting time, you’re going to stop making Mark Zuckerberg’s money, what should we do? What’s the next thing? Do you want to start or do you want to do this one, it’s up to you?

Well, why don’t you start.

Okay. You stopped your scroll, you’ve got to really think about what is the purpose of your social media presence.

That’s a big statement.

Let me say that again. What you’ve got to do before you start scrolling, and you get home, or before you go and even create an Instagram account, or your Facebook business page, the first thing you must do is think about what is the purpose of your social media presence? What do I mean by that? What do I mean by that? There’s a couple ways that you could leverage social media and there are actually, you could do all of these, you could do a few of these, or you could leverage it for many of these. Some realtors use social media to sell homes. Some realtors use social media just to create brand awareness.

There’s so many things that you can do, if you’re in network marketing same thing. You could create awareness about yourself on social media. You could inspire other people in your team, or you could generate leads through social media. You could create free groups, not just for network marketing, but for real estate. You could, if you are a chiropractor, you could create brand awareness, that would be a great usage of it, but maybe an even better usage would be to generate leads or create a membership group, or a community of people, but when they’re liking on your things, they’re actually going and taking that next step, and we’ll talk about that in a little bit.

You’ve really got, what I want you to do, step two once you’ve stopped scrolling, really step two is think about why am I creating this social media presence?

Right. I think a lot of this has to do with starting with the end in mind. What is the purpose? Why am I here? What is the purpose of my business? Use social media for that purpose. It has to be intentional because a lot of the times when we start side businesses or other businesses, we’re like, I don’t really know what to do on social media, so I just throw things at the wall and see what sticks. That’s okay at the very beginning, but if you want to get better faster, you have to have a real purpose.

Once you’re aware of what the purpose is for your particular business, everything that you post is structured around that. So, your social media presence is very intentional. It’s not like, oh maybe I’ll try a video today or maybe I’ll do a post today. Every post has to be structured in a certain way, and we should do a podcast around that.

We’ll talk about this in more detail, right now we really want you to just realize that just because you’re on a social media, and you’re scrolling around on Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat, that doesn’t make you an entrepreneur, that doesn’t mean you have a business. You don’t have one yet.

No, and I think a lot of people, what they do is that they start their business, they post on social media, they don’t sell anything, or they don’t sign any people up for their products and then they’re like, well I guess I suck at this and then they quit.

They quit.

Yeah.

Right, and you had no chance. It would be like, let’s say you’re going to run a, I don’t know, a half marathon.

You like these running analogies.

Right, you know, but I love running. I love it. It frees my mind. I’m already like, I should go for a run.

Squirrel, okay.

Realistically, if you’re going for a run, you’re going to do a half marathon, great, but if you don’t have the map, or you don’t know where you’re going, you’re never going to complete the half marathon.

You just get lost.

You’re just going to get lost every time. Many of you, that’s what you’re doing. You wake up in the morning, you go out, and you go, okay life, please happen to me, I don’t know what’s going to happen today, but let’s just see what happens, and you show up at work, and you wait for your emails to come in. You wait for your boss to tell you what to do. You get home, you turn on the TV and you tell the TV to tell me what to do and feed my brain, you go on Facebook and you watch other people’s stories and you consume content, and you’re never really creating anything. Then you say I’m just so busy, I don’t have any time. The reality, you’ve got so much time once you get intentional about your day.

I think, the key here, let me give you some examples. Just real quick and then we’ll go on to the third point. Just a couple quick examples. If you’re a chiropractor, for example, and you’re trying to build an online presence and this is you listening right now, the first thing I would do is brand awareness. What can I do over the next three weeks to create brand awareness around myself? I’d focus on three different types of posts. One post would be talking about the offerings and things that we provide. Two, stories, I would tell stories about you to get people to know, like and trust you. Number three, I’d give something, a free offer or value or maybe join us tonight for XYZ.

Free meditation or something.

Free meditation session. Free, awareness of XYZ. And the other key thing I would do, on all these things, I would give people an offer to join a group. I would also create a Facebook group or a WhatsApp group, however you decide to do it, Facebook group seems to work the best. Where I would funnel everyone that’s seeing our posts on our Facebook business page, and our Instagram account. I would put them in that group, and of course there’s a lot of tricks around how to do that, which we’ll share in later episodes, but my point here is that, hopefully you can see that in a matter of a minute I gave you a plan. That could apply to any business. But you can’t have a plan if you don’t know where you’re going and that’s what Erin was saying. Some of what Erin was saying actually bleeds into the next point.

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Which, I’ll let you go ahead.

A lot of the times when we are posting, say you do have an intention or maybe it’s not very clear, maybe it’s not very defined, but you’re like okay I’m going to post on social media today. I know I should post this many times a week and I know I should put some inspiring content, and I know I should tell a story, but a lot of the times what we’re doing is we’re posting to get likes.

Wait a minute, people post just to get likes?

Yeah.

So the first they do is they post and then they start checking to see how many likes they have?

Who liked it? Did you like it? Did you comment on my post?

Nobody does that.

I think a lot of times too, is that when we are using social media platforms that our friends, and our family is on, when we post on those platforms, I think that we’re not necessarily as clear as we sometimes need to be. We are very hesitant about what we share. Maybe if you’re trying to be authentic and vulnerable on social media and you don’t really want your mom to see it, you don’t really want your best friend to see it, you don’t really want someone, your neighbor down the street to see it. That can cloud your intention and how you come across authentically, right.

A lot of the times when we start posting on social media, we’re not doing it in the way to build our business. We’re not doing it with call to actions. We’re not telling people how to get more of us, like join our groups because we don’t want to be that person on social media. The difference is, you have to be so fired up about what your business is and how it can change somebody’s life that you are doing someone a disservice if you don’t tell them how to buy from you.

I love it. That’s so key and again, another point I want to make on this one is, let’s say you have a really cute cat and you post a cute cat picture. That’s awesome that you have a cute cat, but really what’s 400 likes going to do on a cute cat picture for your business?

Unless you’re in the pet business.

Unless you’re in the pet business, then that’s great.

You can do stories of your cat.

You could, and again, what I was going to say after that is like, you could still do a post if you’re a chiropractor about your cat. You absolutely could if you’ve got a cute picture, but again, we’re talking business here. So if you want to do that picture of your cute cat, you could do a picture of your cute cat at the chiropractor office. Or you could do, as an example, we were just at a beautiful resort in Arizona and there was a cat there.

So cute.

Super cute. They call him chicken nugget or something?

Nugget.

Nugget, and then someone said, “Do you feed him chicken nuggets?” And then if you go to their Instagram, they got all these pictures that have pictures of this cat, and it’s this cat that they feed and all this stuff, there’s a whole story around the cat.

It’s part of their brand.

It’s part of their brand. It’s intentional. Sometimes these things don’t hit us in the forehead right away, but you can make anything a part of your brand if you choose to do it and if you leverage it the right way. Just throwing in another picture of your cat isn’t going to do anything.

I want to also say this too, is you can still post a picture of your cat, but don’t post the picture of your cat and say it’s building your business.

It’s not.

It’s not. It’s just a cute picture and that’s cool.

Unless you adjust him. Why am I on the chiropractor kick today?

You’re on the chiropractor and running kick. Okay, let’s move on to the next point.

Okay, so here’s a big one. We’re on point four and then we’re going to do one more after this.

This is going to take some time to unpack a little bit.

Right, so I think what I’m going to do is, I’m going to just touch on this at a high level and then maybe we’ll talk about this in a future episode fully.

Good plan.

One of the things you’ve got to realize is, ask yourself, if you’re writing notes, what is your back end system?

What’s a back end system?

Well, what is a back end system? You tell me. Do you even have one?

Right.

Right. Do you have a back end system? A back end system really is the foundation of your business, before social media no one ever thought that you could build a business on social media because there were so many other components to a business. Social media is a small fraction of it. So, what’s your email system? What products are you offering? What are your affiliate links that you have? What are you trying to sell? Where do the links go? What surveys are you running? How are you running payroll? What’s your income versus receivables? All these things. What’s your ad spend? What’s your ad budget for the month? How do you qualify leads? When someone posts and you do a post and you engage with a heart, how do you then funnel them into a system where you can capture their email address? How do you keep track of them? How do you know who opened your email? How do you know who bought your product versus who didn’t buy your product? How do you even sell your product?

This is, yeah.

There’s a lot.

There’s a lot with this one and we, I think, we want you to just have the awareness that if you want to be a serious entrepreneur, if you want to build an empire.

You’ve got to listen to our podcast.

You do. But if you want to build an empire, you have to have a system to track all that. It’s not just, I remember when we first built our business, I didn’t have one. I was winging it. I was like, I remember I have to talk to this one and then I have to followup with this one and then I had all these notes, and then I had an Excel spreadsheet. I learned on the go what not to do.

You can add these things in layers. You might not be running payroll right away, but let’s say that you are now getting some success, and I don’t know, maybe you’re just transferring yourself money. Well that’s going to be a huge nightmare in a year for accounting.

Taxes.

So maybe you go get a payroll system. That’s one of the things that we did and we have a.

We don’t like taxes and payroll stuff. It’s not our strength.

We’ll give a free shout out to the local company, PayWorks. They didn’t even pay for it, but PayWorks rocks. They’re awesome. They actually are super sweet.

We will do an episode too about when to start outsourcing some of the things. At the very beginning, you are going to be the sole person. You’re going to be the one that does everything, until you can start to divide and conquer so to speak and realize what your strengths are, and what you should be focusing your time on.

Again, the key of this episode is we want you to understand that, because you’re scrolling Facebook doesn’t mean you’ve got a business. So keep that in mind. We’re trying to open your eyes to all the things that we’re going to teach you in this podcast, that we teach in the Science of Building Your Online Empire and in a lot of the upcoming courses that we have coming out.

If you’re not in our Facebook group, make sure you go to thebosslife.com/start and make sure you answer all those questions to get in our group because we’re going to share.

Maybe we’ll do a live on that, on backend systems.

I think that’s a great idea. I think we’re going to share what our backend system looks like and maybe how to start yours. I think that ours is probably a lot more complex than when you’re just starting off a business, but.

We can break it down for you because year one, we had very little things in there, but we had stuff.

Yes we did.

I really want you to think this way. Before you post, you’ve got to have some kind of system. Maybe the system is just notes on your phone. Understand that it doesn’t have to be complicated or to cost you anything.

Totally.

Before you do the post of inviting to your free thing on the chiropractor thing, to your free event, when people respond, what is your game plan? Okay, well I’m going to take those people and message them and then I’m going to take note, I’m going to ask them for their email address. I’m going to write their email address down on a piece of paper. It could literally be pen and paper, that’s still a back end system. Then you’re going to add on to that. Let’s move on to the last thing, Erin why don’t you talk about this last thing for us.

I think a lot of people, when you’re starting your side hustle, you’re using your personal social media accounts. While Zuckerberg doesn’t really like that and doesn’t want you to do that, there’s options like a Facebook business page. How many of you actually have a Facebook business page, not just have one, but how many of you use it? How do you scale your content? If you are using Instagram, is your Instagram set up as a business account? Can you promote your posts? Can you boost your posts? Can you reach a different audience that hasn’t connected with you before? If you are just using your own personal account and you’re not actively going in and trying to grow your account, which takes time, if you’re not going to spend money it’s going to take you time. That’s why you need to have your account set up as a business account so you can boost it and run ads.

I think ultimately understand that Instagram right now, even if you set up as a business, you’re not getting penalized for being a business. Right now is the gold rush in terms of Instagram, just to tell you up front. People don’t realize that. You could build an Instagram account much quicker than you could build a Facebook business account. That said, a Facebook business account is critical because you need to have that to tie into so that you can run ads through Instagram. It’s quite easy to do it. We’ll maybe do a live in our Science of Building and Online Empire, how we set it up.

Basically what we can do is, for example, when we post on The Boss Life that you see, if a post is getting good traction, it’s got 80, 90 likes, we can go in and boost it and we have a special technique that we use so that it costs us next to nothing and we can take a post that maybe got 90 people that are already following us to see it, we can take that to 1300 people liking it and commenting and just make it look like it exploded, which it does, because we go in and add in a couple bucks with a system that we use and it basically allows it to explode.

Again, we want to make sure you guys are understanding that we’re not posting on Instagram to get likes. We are posting to connect with other people who need our content.

That’s exactly, exactly right. So, let’s move on.

Do the challenge.

Before we go there maybe I’ll just summarize and Erin can give you guys the challenge. The whole key, what we want you to get out of this episode is that just because you’re scrolling Facebook when you finish this podcast and you get to work or you get home, depending on when you’re listening, you’re not building a business. In fact, you are taking away time, and in fact it’s addicting, it’s going to create dopamine in your head and you’re going to not be able to stop. You’re going to waste so much time. Probably two hours at night.

But I will say this, if that is something that you guys are addicted to, put in some work and use it as a reward. Give yourself a time limit. Okay, I did all of these things in my business today to grow my business today, I’m going to go, I don’t know scroll the discovery thing on Instagram. Some people like to do that. But, make it.

I’ve never done that before. It’s funny because we were on a cruise and someone was telling me about how they do that, I’m like, really? That’s a thing.

Then we looked at it and all of ours were very different because it’s targeted to what you like and post on social media. But, if that is your thing.

Yours was all cats.

Mine was cats.

Mine was all people working out and some work stuff thrown in.

Someone else’s was just all food too.

This is so weird.

It’s funny. Anyway, if that’s your jam and you want to use it as a reward for your work, then do that.

But, if it’s not your thing, then don’t do that. So stop scrolling. Think about what’s the purpose of why you’re online at the end of the day. Why are you online? Why is your business online? What are you trying to do? What do you want to leverage from it? We talked about free groups, we talked about lead generation, brand awareness, and we’ll go into more detail on other episodes on that. Also, stop posting just to see how many likes. As Erin said, it doesn’t really matter if you get 10000 likes or even if you go viral. There’s people that have gone viral that have gotten five million likes on their posts, and they haven’t made a penny from it. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to make money just because you got a ton of likes.

Also, just think about the backend systems, whether it’s a piece of paper, whether it’s an Excel spreadsheet or whether it’s something more complicated. What is your back end system? How are you funneling customers into your system, into your circle so that you can ascend them to become some of your best clients ever and in turn make an income. The last one was, is your account set up as a business. Are you just playing around as a hobby or do you actually have a Facebook business account? Do you have an Instagram business account? What are you doing? What’s the challenge for today?

The challenge today is going to be mapping out your back end system that you want to create. Again, I don’t want you to get stuck in overwhelm with this, saying I’ve got to do all these things. I want you guys, first of all, just write out what your system is right now. Maybe you don’t have one, maybe just having the awareness that you need to get one is going to fuel you to make those changes. Whatever your backend system might like look. It might look like I need somewhere to track the people, my customers. I need somewhere to track my potential customers. I need somewhere to, I don’t know, do my payroll. Stuff like that. You have to look at whatever your business is and all of you have different businesses, so it’s really hard to say do this, do this, I want you to start looking at a way that you can implement a system that’s going to allow you to grow.

That means followup with people. That means, having themes for you posting on social media. Having call to actions in your social media. Having things scheduled out. Od you have a schedule that you follow every week so that your posts are consistent? One of the the biggest things I see people do when they’re building a business is that your audience, your fan base doesn’t know when you’re showing up. Because you’re not consistent.

So true. So what we’re going to do is, if you join our group, which is go to thebosslife.com/start, we will actually do a live in there next week. So if you have some questions, you’re listening to episode right now, I think we’re going to publish it on Monday, so if you’re listening to this podcast, or whenever you’re listening to it, if you go to thebosslife.com/start, we’re going to do a live and maybe I’ll do some whiteboarding as well and I’ll tell you guys what the three most common back end processes/systems that you have to have in place in order to succeed in your business. We’re going to share that with you guys in there. Hopefully we see you in there. With that, we give you guys a ton of value and we love to end all our episodes with, remember to ditch the employee mindset.

And start living The Boss Life.

You should never fake anything until you make it. Most of you aren’t succeeding because you keep telling yourself you are faking it. In today’s episode, The Boss Life Podcast gives you a new way to think that will change your life forever.

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Why Faking It Till You Make It Is BS – Transcript

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about why faking it till you make it, is BS.

Well, I think this is such an important topic for us to talk about, especially with those of you who are just beginning your entrepreneurial career or those of you guys who’ve probably experienced someone at some point in your life, telling you to fake it till you make it.

Yeah, I’ve heard that my whole life, fake it till you make it. Fake it till you make it. Hey, you should just fake it till you make it.

I mean, I thought-

Hang on, stop for a second, you should really fake it till you make it.

Maybe I am and you don’t know, you don’t know. I think it’s really, really interesting that it’s a statement that everybody knows. Someone’s probably said it to you. And you probably said it to somebody else. If you’ve been mentoring or helping someone learn something, and usually it’s said out of love and care and in a positive way like you can do this.

You’re not that person yet so, why don’t you just pretend that you are because, you’re not. You should just fake it till you make it. There’s three major elements that we need you to understand about why faking it till you make it is complete BS. I think it’s going to empower you a lot. Erin, why don’t you kick us off?

Awesome. So one of the statements that I love to make sure our clients know and now we’re letting you guys know this, is I need you guys to change the narrative-

Wait, wait, this is a top secret thing.

This is top secret. Stuff we’ve never shared outside of our bosses group.

Is this that secrets you’ve never shared.

This is the secret we’ve never shared.

This is one of them. You got to write this down. This is good.

Yeah, write it down or re-record or never record. But rewind and-

Record. Record your own podcast. You should probably do that. Why not?

It’d be great. But here’s one of the things that I want you guys to rewrite the narrative of, instead of faking it till you make it, I want you to change it to imitate until you become it.

Imitate until you become.

I think it’s important for that, for our minds to understand that just because we’re doing stuff we’ve never done before, doesn’t mean that we’re faking anything. I think the statement faking it implies that you are not being real, you’re not being authentic. You’re not being you. You’re being fake.

What is this making it thing anyway. I’ve yet to feel like I’ve made it.

That’s the thing, right? Because eventually what will happen is the knowledge and skills that you feel you lack right now, they will become more automatic, you’re never going to be an expert in it. But where sometimes when you’re trying to gain more confidence or do more live videos or do more stories, or go post on Facebook, or whatever it is. Or talk to potential buyers or customers or whatever it is.

You feel an imposter, right? Because you don’t necessarily know how to do what you’re trying to do. When we talk about imitating until you become it-

That’s good. Actually, I’m going to talk about imposters when you’re done here because that’s important.

Yeah, and I mean, I think it’s really important for you guys to know that eventually the skills that you’re trying to acquire right now, where you feel so uncomfortable at some point that you’re trying to do it and trying to make it look you’re not uncomfortable. Eventually you will become more comfortable doing that.

That’s what’s really, really key about this is that when you are imitating something we know you will always tell you guys to model success, right? Don’t reinvent the wheel. But when you imitate someone successful, you are looking at the behaviors that is making them successful and you’re modeling them.

Can you give us an example of imitating until you become it versus fake it and make it. How would someone go ahead and imitate someone until they they become it? Let’s set up a scenario maybe for them and maybe explain it.

I think this is a really important one. Say there are some of you who are terrified of public speaking or going live on social media. I want you guys to … I guess this will be a little mini challenge. We have another one at the end too. But I want you to look at the people that you admire in your field who are doing what you want to do.

And I want you to study them. I want you to look at their live videos and I want you to see how they stand? How they use their hands, the inflection of their voice, because that is modeling success. If you study someone, and you’re like, “I’m suck at this, this person rocks at this. So I’m going to study this person so that I can learn the different nuances that they know. And they do that’s making them successful. And I can model it.” That’s a big difference.

I love it. I love it. Because I’m an introvert, right? And I’ll debate this till I’m blue in the face. I am. The definition really of that is how do you get energy? Do you get energy from being in a crowded room with tons of people and talking and you’re fired up and you get so much energy from it? Or do you lose energy?

I gain energy from being downstairs with the lights off working on my laptop or computer. That’s how I get energy. So I’m an introvert. When I got into this whole thing, I’ve told some of you before, I was a programmer, and I wanted to earn more income. I realized that public speaking basically teaching other people how to be successful was the key.

Well, I didn’t want to get up onstage and talk to two people let alone a room of 100 people back then. 100 was the goal and I was like never. I could have faked it till I make it and just got up on there and just started winging it. Just fake it and be like, “Whoo,” whatever. That wouldn’t work.

But what I decided to do instead was imitate it until I became it, right? I found exactly what Erin said, I found people that I can think of in my head right now. One of them I’m going for lunch with next week. I was like, “Hey, they’re awesome. I need to imitate until I become it.” I would imitate, imitate, imitate.

I would watch them present, I would see how they did it. I would purposely go to their presentations and see what things were great and what things weren’t great. When you’re imitating as well, you should customize, right? I’d be like, “Well, I can’t really say that joke, because that doesn’t make any sense for me.”

But they said a joke here. How would I add a joke in? How are they standing? All that stuff. That’s imitating. That’s way more powerful because when you’re imitating someone and you’re trying to be like them that way is completely different than faking it. It’s such a de-powering is that even a word? De-powering I’ll make it

We’re going to make a word today.

It’s a de-powering term to say, I’m going to fake it. Because now you’re just saying you’re fake, and you’re not fake, you’re imitating until you become it. I love what you said there.

Right. That kind of brings us into our next point about something coined as … This term is coined as the imposter syndrome. For those of you guys who don’t really know what the imposter syndrome is, or that it exists, but I guarantee almost all of you guys have felt it. Is when you’ve had success before in your life, and all of a sudden you’re like, “What if someone finds out I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

I’m actually not this awesome.

Right? And I think you feel like when is the other shoe going to drop? And people are going to realize that … Especially when you have success, and then you’re like, “Now, what do I do?” If any of you have ever felt that way, make sure that you let me know on Instagram or anything and you’re listening to this.

Because that is one of the biggest things. I remember when, in my business, I had a huge amount of success. It seemed it happened quickly. It didn’t. But I remember feeling like, “Oh crap, what do I do now?” And like, “I don’t really know what I’m doing.” The thing was, and we’re going to talk about this too, is that when people take action, and they work hard, and they learn, and they research and they take action, and take action, and take action.

All of that stuff will eventually get you some success, right? We might feel we’re telling ourselves, we have no idea what we’re doing. But the successful people that I’ve learned from in my life or I have seen in my life, they’re not the ones who just sit there and research. They’re the ones who just fail forward. They’re the ones who take action and learn on the way.

It’s so true. In other careers, even when I worked for other companies. At one point, I was a consultant. I would fly around and consulted different organizations and like high end corporations, I’m not going to mention. But I remember one time I went to … I flew out to do a presentation at what used to be called the Sears Tower is now called the Willis Tower in Chicago.

I love Chicago.

Right? Is beautiful city, I fly out there all expenses paid whatever from the company I was working for. And I present to a crowded room of like, I don’t know, it was 10 or 12 people at this corporation trying to pitch them an idea. They basically as soon as I started off talking, they’re like, “First of all, we just want to let you to know that we’ve already selected.”

Then they say the company name and it’s a massive agency from New York City, and I’m like, “Okay. I’m screwed.” Right? But I gave it my best pitch. I did what I could. They ended up giving us another week to prepare more stuff because like, “Wow, we really like this. Could you give us 100 page thing in five days.” I was like, “Sure. No problem.” I remember calling Erin and going, “Hey, I’m staying in Chicago for five more days.”

Because now you got to make this thing. That I don’t know how to make.

She’s like, “What are you going to do?” I’m like, “I’m literally going to lock myself in this hotel room. And I’m going to work on this thing.” They actually flew someone else out to help me do this thing because it wasn’t … whatever. Anyway, long and short of it is, I remember sitting there going like, “I am so imposter syndrome right now. There’s no chance,” right?

But then I just focused. For some reason I was like, “No, no. I believe in me,” right? And a light bulb went off, and I switched and we ended up winning a huge contract.

That’s amazing.

Right, but still, I know exactly what it feels to have that imposter syndrome. I remember sitting there going, “Oh my gosh, we’re going to blow this proposal now.”

They’re going to realize that I have no idea what I’m doing.

I have no idea of what I’m doing. But then I wrote it all out and beat out a massive agency. Here’s the thing, everyone feels this way. Authors they write a book. It goes number one bestseller. We’ve talked to authors that have got number one bestseller. They feel imposter syndrome, everyone feels it.

If you’re someone sitting there going, “I don’t deserve this level of success.” It’s totally not a true statement. But it will take you some time to power through it and work through it. Just because you listen to his podcast, you’re not going to be like, “Oh, okay, I believe in myself now.”

Right. I think like when you have the imposter syndrome come out in your life is important to acknowledge it, right? And just be like, “Hey, what’s up.” Have that awareness that it isn’t really, that you don’t deserve this, right? And A lot of times, we downplay our success. And when someone else compliments it, the most damaging thing that we can do to ourselves, because we sometimes feel we don’t deserve the success.

What I want you guys to realize when this happens to you, when you have some success, and you’re feeling uncomfortable with it, and you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop and you’re waiting for everyone to realize that you have no idea what you’re doing. I want you to give other people some credit, and I’m going to explain myself.

I’m not telling you to say, like thank them. I’m telling you that you need to give other people credit because what would mean if you were actually faking it. If you are actually didn’t deserve all the success, but somehow you got it. That means you tricked every single person that was part of the success. Right? That means that you tricked every single person. I don’t know. That’s a lot of people to trick, right?

Right. Actually, after a couple of years, you’re like, “Okay. Wait a minute.”

Wait a minute I actually did work really hard.

I’ll Add to that one’s you’ve done that but go ahead.

No, but that’s the thing right? When you look at the situation. You’re telling yourself people are going to realize I don’t know what I’m doing. That means you actually fooled all the people who you’ve either been helping or the company you’re working with, or that boss that gave you the promotion, you fool them all. I mean, I feel you’re talented. But I know you didn’t fool all those people.

Right? That’s kind of how my whole career for 15 years went, I kept feeling I was faking till I make it. Then I ended up leaving the whole thing, which was kind of crazy, to do entrepreneurship. At that ending point I was really like … It’s going to sound weird, but I was like, “Yeah, I’m pretty friggin awesome.” I get it now.

Here’s the point why I’m saying that is, well, what you’ll realize over time, for example, this podcast went number one the first day, so for a few minutes, I was like, “Okay, we’re number one in iTunes on business.” Then I almost felt that imposter syndrome. I was like, “Why are we number one over Gary Vee and all these incredible people Tony Robbins and Brendon Burchard all these awesome people, right?

Rachel Hollis.

Rachel Hollis, sorry, you’re number two now.

We still love you guys.

I felt that but then all of a sudden people started reaching out and saying how awesome the podcast was and then all sudden iTunes featured our new and newsworthy or whatever. Then it was one of the hot ones and whatever. It was awesome. Eventually I was okay. Here’s the thing I want you to understand is, I think what happens is when you haven’t yet achieved a certain level success you put so many people on these pedestals.

Not that they don’t deserve them. But you think they must have some magical superpower, right? That you don’t have. That these people like Tony Robbins, Gary Vee like Michael Jordan, you name them that they somehow have this magical power that was bestowed upon them that you don’t have.

The reality is the only thing if anything of a superpower that all of those people have are two things. One, they found something they were passionate about. And number two, they worked harder than everybody else. I really firmly believe that. Look at Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan.

He did not make his high school basketball team. Okay. What changed is that he was in that gym practicing shot, after shot, after shot, in order to become the best. There’s so much that’s not even written about his training regimen and his workouts and what he ate and his nutrition, all these things, it’s not …

I want you to understand that, because what that means for you is that any goal that you have, any dream that you have in your life in your belly, in your heart, that was put into you was put in there for a reason, for you to make a reality. The only thing that’s stopping you from getting from point A to point B, from the bottom of the mountain to the top of that mountain is really, quite honestly, it’s just hard work.

That hard work will get you there. And you’ll realize that there is no imposter syndrome there. It’s just that you worked harder than everybody else and you deserve to be there.

Right. The reason we talked about this imposter syndrome is because when you use the statement, fake it till you make it, this imposter syndrome feeds into the statement. That’s why I want you to re label it as imitate until you become it. Because that puts an entirely different perspective in your brain, in your heart, in your inner dialogue.

We’re going to talk about one of the other things that kind of pokes out when we’re talking about imposter syndrome. The next thing that we want to really highlight in terms of faking it till you make it is your inner critic.

Your inner critic.

Your inner critic.

I have an inner critic?

Everybody has-

Like a movie critic.

Yeah. They’re really mean.

He doesn’t like me.

Well-

Maybe it’s a lady.

Maybe it is a lady.

How does it work.

Your inner critic is, that internal dialogue that’s in your head. That will tell you, you know, it’s usually about your limiting beliefs, you’re not good enough, you’re not smart enough, your fear of failure, fear of success. When we talk about the inner critic there’s a lot of research around the inner critic, and how to manage the inner critic.

A lot of this is just having the awareness and listening to, you know, not telling it to take a hike, but acknowledging that it’s there, there’s a reason why your inner critic comes up and says all these crazy things that are not true. If you’re trying to launch podcast it might say, “Who are you to launch this podcast? You have no idea what you’re doing. Why is anyone going to listen to you?” Right?

When we have those inner critics talking to us that way, the best way to manage that is to be aware of it. Then really, look at the evidence, this is the best thing I could tell you. If you’re struggling with an inner critic-

Look at the evidence. There’s evidence?

Yeah.

That this inner critic is right.

Well-

Or he’s wrong.

… I think that that’s the difference, right? You have to look at it. What is the story that my inner critic is spinning? Is there evidence to support what’s going on in my head. When you look at that as a whole perspective, that is really going to change whether you let your inner critic dictate what happens in your world. Or if you are going to not let the inner critic dictate what happen in your world. That’s completely up to you.

Yeah, how many of you … I’m going to ask you right now. How many of you have that inner critic inside of you? In this moment right now that’s just telling you not to do stuff. A lot of times. That inner critic is literally what’s holding you back. Because that’s why you’re not taking action, people always talk about procrastination.

We have an episode coming up about procrastination. If we haven’t published it before this when we kind of choose later on we record and then we decide. But the procrastination episode is really about procrastination. But really, if you think about inner critics, right?

Inner critic, is the biggest thing that’s going to make you procrastinate because the inner critic is the guy that’s telling you to not bother, don’t bother. That’s the inner critic the one that’s saying don’t bother, go watch Netflix, go watch Game of Thrones. Go watch YouTube, because what do you have to share with the world? You got nothing to share? You’ve made so many mistakes. You’ve done so many dumb things before.

All that stuff builds up, that’s why in one of our … We actually these mastermind excursions, where we take a group of people and we take them out to this beautiful island basically, and we do a walk with them and we get them to get rid of their baggage. Right? That is such a powerful exercise that we do.

Many people who’ve taken there, their whole lives transformed from that day. I’m not going to give away the secrets of what we do.

No. Don’t give away that secret.

But it’s-

You all have to come with us.

Yeah, it’s amazing because these people, they get rid of all this baggage, all this stuff, their inner critic that’s telling them all this stuff that’s quite frankly, not true. Right now, even though I’m telling you that you need to get rid of this, you’re not going to but doing this exercise, being immersed for three days with us. You will do that.

And we’re going to offer these masterminds at some point here. We just haven’t got to that yet. But you really got to get rid of your inner critic because that is really … If you want to beat procrastination … I’m a big believer in if you’re trying to beat procrastination. Really?

Do you take the Advil pill for the headache? Sure, that may help for a second, but what caused the headache, right? What’s causing the procrastination? It’s probably that inner critic.

I think that it’s really important for you guys to know that it’s not something that you just turn off. Is something that you have to work to be aware of. Because you will always have an inner dialogue, and you get to choose whether it runs your life or you acknowledge it and move on.

The reason that your inner critic is so powerful is because it focuses on feelings of shame. So you’re having things come up in your life and as your inner dialogue that are limiting beliefs, because they make you feel shameful. That’s why it’s so powerful for you to have that acknowledgement. And to really ask yourself, again, where is the truth in this? What’s the story I’m telling myself? Do you have any evidence about this.

If you’re looking for a really, really great book, How to Stop Feeling Like bleep Sh bleep T by Andrea Owen. She talks a lot about this goes really in depth about different habits that we have and how to manage that and just have some awareness. If you are struggling with any of the stuff that we talked about today, I definitely suggest you pick up that book.

It was amazing read for me and just a lot of our clients when we did an in depth book review with it. But it’s such a powerful tool for you to learn how to acknowledge some of these feelings you might be having.

I love it. You guys-

No, no, you go. Look, I’m being polite.

I’m going to be even more polite. I’m going to say, Erin, why don’t you give us or give them the challenge for today.

All right. This is obviously a topic that I really, really love. I talk a lot about your inner critic-

By the way, it’s quite funny that our cat right now is literally trying-

Trying to destroy our podcast.

… is trying everything in his power to knock over everything around us right now. Our microphone, our light’s stand and everything. We’re-

We’re not going to rerecord this, because-

We’re not going to re-record this. We’re trying to be real.

… it’s just life. Yeah-

But-

If you have pets in your house, that’s just getting all your videos and all your stuff. Then that’s awesome.

If you hear a smashing bang-

Then that’s what that is.

… it’s our cat that is-

We’re still alive.

He is nitro. And have you heard that song? What’s that song as crazy as psycho?

Sweet but a Psycho.

It’s really popular. Sweet but a Psycho

Yeah. That’s him.

That’s his song.

All right. Let’s go back to the challenge.

Oh, right. The challenge.

Yeah, the challenge. If you guys have … If any of this has really identified with you, from today, I want you guys to understand that a lot of this is just awareness. A lot of this is just paying attention to those feelings and then really relabeling fake it till you make it.

Because I want you guys to imitate until you become it and that’s what’s going to change so much for you, if you decide to change that statement in your narrative. Challenge, I want you guys to identify some of the lies you’re telling yourself about your ability to have success.

Oh, yeah, write them down.

Write them down. If you feel super confident, you want to share them on social media, make sure you tag us. You don’t have to. It’s not part of it at all. But really, when you have the awareness, and then you make the decision to bring those into light. Those kind of shameful feelings and all that kind of stuff. When you bring that into the light. They can’t exist, because they hide in the dark. They’re hiding the shame feelings.

You take away their power.

Yeah, totally take away their power. That’s-

Just like what I did to the house today.

Yes.

Because we travel a lot. We have a wicked system now around the house.

We do.

You step on front of the property. The light will shine upon your.

Light like a Christmas tree.

You will not hide in the darkness.

But it’s like Gremlins, right? So I mean, if you look at that movie back in the 80s, the Gremlins what happens when you shine light on them, right? I think this is … Or you throw water on them. I don’t remember. Anyways, it works. Okay. Some of this-

[crosstalk] on the Gremlins stuff. I was only allowed to watch Karate Kid, Back to The Future.

No, but I mean some of the things in your life they’re little Gremlins in your life and if you do not shine light in those Gremlins in your life then they’re going to take over.

So true.

That’s the point.

So true. That’s so true. No, I love it. That’s great. Hopefully you got a lot out of this episode. I’m really excited for you guys to take massive action on this one. I think it can really change the game. Even if all you do is you change what you’re saying, like how Erin said to imitate until you become it.

I think you’ll have so much more success. The imposter syndrome is huge for everybody. Just acknowledge it and move on, move forward. You’ll get there and the inner critic, tell him to get lost seriously. Let’s do it. So with that, we want to remind you that you need to, you have to, you must ditch the employee mindset. Start living the boss life.

You have a mindset about money that is broken. It was created for you, by people that created a system meant to generate employees. It’s time to become aware, and destroy your employee mindset around money!

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Ditching The Employee Mindset Around Money – Transcript

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about ditching the employee mindset around money.

Employees have a mindset around money?

I thought you were going to sing a money song. You’ve been singing all the songs lately.

Money, money, money, money. Money.

Nice.

Yeah. Some people got to have it.

You remember, the Apprentice?

Yeah.

The Apprentice was good. Did you know that originally the Apprentice, they were going to change the person, Donald Trump, they were going to change it every episode?

No, I didn’t know that.

Did you know that Martha Stewart was going to be one of the Apprentice people?

That would’ve been cool. She’s a boss.

She might’ve become president. Who knows. You got to vote for whoever you know on TV.

Lots of things could possibly happen in the future. You don’t know that that won’t happen.

Let’s not get political.

I think a lot of the times we talk about, especially when we enter podcasts, ditching the employee mindset. We really wanted to start diving into what exactly that means.

What does that mean, Erin? What does that mean?

I think what we’re going to talk about today, we’re going to tell you a little bit more about some of the myths surrounding money, but we want to make sure that we are going through it with you guys, and just making sure that we are kind of explaining ourselves when we talk about an employee mindset or a boss mindset, and the topic of money is so packed full of positive emotions, sometimes negative emotions.

Some people don’t like to talk about money.

This is true. If this is you, I really encourage you to hang in there and listen to this, because I think there’s going to be a lot of tidbits in here that you’re going to have some light bulb moments, I think.

What we’re going to try and do is we’re going to smash some myths that many people have, and you may have one of these, you may have all of these, you may have more, but we want to cover the biggest five, and the first one we want to cover is exchanging time for money.

Employees exchange time for money.

That’s right. They do. That’s a great thing. It’s not a bad thing. I want to be very clear on that, but here’s the thing, that exchanging your time for your money, you’re always going to be capped at what you can earn, other than, really, the only way you can earn more is to raise what you charge, what your rate is, but if you’re working for somebody else, you know as well as I do that the chances of you getting an increase, 20, 30, 40% increase every single year-

It’s just not going to happen.

It’s just not happening.

I think this is the biggest struggle that I see from our clients at the very, very beginning on their entrepreneurial career is that they are still in this mindset where, if I put X amount of hours in, I’m going to get X amount of dollars out.

They always ask that. They always say, “How much am I going to make per hour?” Or, “How much am I going to do this?”

“How long is it going to take?”

“How long’s it going to take? When can I make X dollars?”

“A thousand dollars a week, or whatever.”

That’s such a loaded question, because a lot of the time it just depends on your background coming into your business, the type of business you have, how much time you’re going to spend building your business, and I think this is the biggest trap, and where people feel like, “I put 40 hours into my business this week, and I haven’t earned a penny.”

That’s not true. You’re doing so much. There’s so much groundwork that has to happen.

You’re building a skillset, and I think that that’s where the boss mentality comes in, is that you’re not putting in the time to earn the money, you’re putting in the time to learn the skill, and then the money will come after you’ve become more skilled.

When you’re exchanging your time for your money, your so limited. When you go to sleep or once you leave work, frankly, you’re just not getting paid anymore. You’re getting paid zero.

Right. You’re at home, and if you go to bed, you’re not going to earn any money?

You’re not going to earn any money. No money’s coming in.

How’s that different for bosses? What do bosses do differently in terms of their money? How they earning their money when they’re sleeping?

Bosses will exchange their value for their money. What they know through info products, what they know through podcasting, advice, consulting, masterminds. There’s so many ways to exchange your value for your money, and, as a great example, in one of the businesses that we have, we basically earn 24/7, whether we’re sleeping, whether we’re working, whether we’re speaking at a conference, we’re getting paid, because we have sales happening, whether it’s two in the morning, whether it’s 10 PM, whether I’m at a concert with our kids. We’re just getting paid all the time. It sounds amazing.

We worked really hard for that. It didn’t just happen.

That’s what I wanted to say was that it was a lot of work. That first year of building that business was a lot of, if you looked at how much I was getting paid per hour, it would probably have been 50 cents an hour, if that. In the beginning, it’s probably closer to negative money. It was negative money, because I was putting money into Facebook advertising, I was putting money into buying products, I was putting money-

Events.

Yeah, events. Creating courses, renting out halls. There was a lot of stuff that happened. Really, I wasn’t making anything, but the employee mindset would say that that’s wrong, that you should quit that, that you should stop.

I did. I told you to quit it and stop it, because I was like, “This is insane. You already work 60 hours at your regular job, and you’re putting in extra.”

I don’t even know where you got the time to do it, but I just didn’t understand. I was still really trapped in the employee mindset, saying, “Where’s the money? Show me the money.”

Because we were putting in so much time. It took me a long time to understand that aspect. I still remember the first time we went on vacation, and we still earned money, even though we had no-

That was the coolest moment. We’re literally on vacation, and then we get this direct deposit on a Thursday or something like that, I won’t say the amount, but it was more than I used to earn in a month after taxes. It was crazy. We’re literally in Mexico, drinking Mojitos.

That was a good time.

Then I was like, “Told you this would work. I told you.”

He did. He did. I bit my tongue on this one.

That’s kind of the first myth we just wanted to really talk about. For you to have awareness.

It’s very powerful. We talked a lot of stuff there, but if you remember one thing, it’s that do not think about how much you’re earning per hour, per day, per week in the beginning. I’d give yourself six months to a year, and you just can’t focus on that. Remember that our strategy that we always teach is that you should work a full-time job, you should do your best at that job, you should become an all star employee if you possibly can, and use that as your investor into your side hustle business. As long as you’re doing those things, you don’t need that income to be coming in yet. You should be focused on growth and becoming the best you can be.

I did a post on my Facebook the other day, and I said, basically, “You should stop focusing on love and finances and making more money, and instead you should focus on becoming the best you can be, because if you become the best you can be, then you will attract love, financial freedom, money,” and that’s really the key with this whole thing.

Please, for myth one, promise me you’re going to focus on growing and not “How much did I earn the last hour?”

Totally. Totally.

Let’s go to the next one, Erin.

The next myth we want to kind of dispel is that school teaches you how to earn money or become rich.

I did think that at one point.

I did go to school, and I have a degree. I really subscribe to that train of thought. I thought, given my background, and seeing my parents financially struggle when I was little, I was like, “I am never going to have that happen to me. The only thing that is different is that I’m going to go to school, I’m going to get a degree, and I’m going to make a lot of money.”

Because I was always taught, if you have a degree you’re going to make a lot of money. I spent, and I’m not saying not to go to school, because I don’t want you guys to think that either. There are a lot of jobs that you still need a degree to practice, law and medicine and all that stuff, but, for me, when I went to school, I have my degree in psychology, and I got out of university expecting to make a lot of money, pay my student loans back.

All these people are going to want Erin.

I got a job making minimum wage at a bank, that I didn’t need a degree for.

You were praying for that job, because you were applying everywhere. I remember that.

No one would hire me. I was just not hire-able. I shouldn’t say no one would hire me. I was working three jobs throughout university.

You’re overqualified, you’re under qualified.

Yeah. I was in the middle. They’re like, “You have a degree? We don’t want to pay you that much. But you have no experience with that degree, so we don’t want to pay you that much.”

I was miserable, because I had spent four years in school, and then expecting to make a decent amount of money, and I got out of university, and I got a minimum wage job.

That’s the hard part with all that. We’re not saying that school’s bad and all that, but I’ll give you a perfect example real world, for our kids, in our wills and stuff, we basically told them that once they’re 21 they’re going to get a certain amount from the trust, if we die. But however, they’re not going to get a penny unless they either start a business, and there’s a lot of specifics in there, start a business, not just any business, but start a business and pour into it personal development, and attend conferences, and do all the things that they are learning to do through living with us, that’s option A. Option B is go to school.

It’s not like we’re knocking school, it’s just that school does not teach you, necessarily, how to become rich. That’s not the job of the school. The job, you got to understand, schools are created in the industrial age in order to fill positions in working class jobs. They were created so that they had a system of people coming out that could be doctors, lawyers, that could follow directions. Ring the bell, time to go to the next thing. Ring the bell again, time to go to the next thing.

It’s really like they train you to become an employee, and that’s why it’s so hard to get out of that mindset, because you’re indoctrinized into this world from when you’re really little, and you have all these hopes and dreams, and it’s like school, and if you’re a teacher, I love you, because we have some really great teachers in our lives and our kids do go to school, but for me, I just felt like it’s like, fit in, fit in, fit in, and then you graduate, and they’re like, stand out, and you’re like, “I don’t know how to do that.”

Even if you think about it, usually if you’ve gone through the school system, when you get a job, what are the first things you look at? You don’t look at all the things that should matter. You’re like, “How many breaks am I going to get? How long do I get for lunch? When does the bell go?” Basically.

When do I get to leave and go and do what I want to do?

When do I get my paycheck, AKA, when do I get my report card, so I can get paid from my parents?

All these things that you’re taught in school that, if you want to be an entrepreneur, they’re not necessarily going to help you.

There’s been a lot of clients that we worked with who, they’ve gone to school, they have their degree, they start their job, and they realize they hate it, and it’s a really big shift for them to decide to kind of put that schooling, I don’t want to say throw it away, because I don’t think that you do, but put it to the side as not defining who you are, and build something else that is really your passion.

I think, if anything, school teaches you a lot of social skills, it teaches you, at least for me, I can only talk personally, it teaches you that. It teaches you how to work hard, it teaches you how to study, it teaches you all those things.

I think it teaches you discipline, because even as an entrepreneur, one of the hardest things, because we’re kind of like herding cats when it comes to accounting a lot of the time, is that it teaches us to be disciplined in things that we don’t necessarily want to do, but we need to.

Exactly. That’s kind of our take on that. We could do a whole episode on my thoughts on the school system.

We won’t, because we realize that some of you are in it, and we still love you.

Ultimately, again, it’s not a negative, it’s just you have to be aware. It’s kind of if you go to a bar. You could say, “I’m not going to drink,” but at the end of the day, as long as you’re aware that that environment, after 12, everyone’s going to be smashed out of their minds.

If you choose to hang out there, you just got to know what’s going to happen.

The external forces influencing you are going to be greater if you keep surrounding yourself with that.

Right. Same with school. Just know what’s going on there, and I never learned how to do my taxes or pay my bills or how to buy a house or square footages. All the things that I actually use.

Actually, it’s funny. We went to go into a high school for one of our kids, and we kind of made a joke. They’re like, “Do you guys teach people how to buy houses yet?”

She was like, “Ha ha?”

No, but that would be really useful.

That would be really useful.

So you don’t get screwed over a million times. Anyway. Let’s go on the next one.

We could ramble on a lot about that, but let’s talk about the next one. I think this is a really fun one, because it’s in a lot of our mindsets, and we don’t really even know it. Let’s talk about the myth that there’s a finite amount of money in the world.

Go for it.

I think this is in our mindsets, it’s kind of like socially ingrained into us. It’s usually a cultural thing. It’s usually stuff that we’re brought up with, and we asked our little awesome group, the bosses in the Science of Building your Online Empire group on Facebook, I asked them, “What was your relationship with money growing up? Did you talk about it? How did your parents feel about it? How’d they talk to you about it?”

A lot of the times, if I said, “Money is the root of all blank.”

Evil.

Right. “Money doesn’t grow on…”

Trees.

I think there’s tons of-

“Go to school and get a…”

Job.

“So that you can pay off all your…”

Bills.

“So you can work until you…”

Die? Retire.

Let’s be honest, no one’s retiring from their job.

The stuff that people have to retire on now, it’s not enough for our life expectancy anymore, but I think a lot of the times people feel like there’s only so much money to go around, and I think one of the biggest mindset shifts that bosses make is to realize that there is as much as money out there as we want to be.

Can I just say something here?

Yeah, totally.

Here’s the thing. Many people with the employee mindset, they think that the only way to make more money is to go to their boss and ask for a what?

A raise.

A raise, right. Here’s the thing, and I’m going to help bosses as well that might be listening, but are like, “Oh, no. You’re teaching my employees to go leave me.”

That’s not what we’re doing at all. Here’s the biggest thing. When you go ask your boss for a raise, chances are if you work for someone that appreciates you, they’re probably paying you the most they possibly can, and of course they’re going to give you increases and things like that, but if you really want to change your lifestyle, and you want a $10,000 raise, the chances of that happening, depending on where you’re at, is going to be very minimal, but then, as an employee, then you start getting upset, and you start maybe not liking a job that you actually liked, because you’re not getting the money you want, because your friend went and bought a new car, and they’re making more money than you, and you’re a little bit behind. All these things start to spiral, but imagine if you change your mindset, and you’re like, “Wait a minute. I love my job. I get paid pretty well, consistently. I do a good job. I’m appreciated.”

If you take that money part out, and you put it on yourself, and you say, “Wait a minute. I could just go start a side hustle. I could make $10,000 more on my own. I could start my own business. I could have write-offs.”

That whole mindset is so key.

Totally. I’m just going to give a real-world example for us. When we started our businesses, and we wanted to buy a larger house, we went to the banks, and they looked at us like, “You guys run your own business. We don’t know what to do with that.”

They didn’t know how to give us money, because they didn’t know how to deal with the money that was coming in.

“Your income fluctuates.”

It fluctuates.

Yes, it’s a business.

It’s gone up a lot for the last three years.

That’s no sustainable.

No. Their mindset was, “It’s going to come crashing down. What if your businesses fail?”

I actually told one of them, “What if you get fired from your job, and you’re not here? Are you secure?”

This is the thing. People have, and I did too, when we left our secure, full-time jobs, we were getting paid every two weeks, that false sense of security. Banks would’ve given me probably way more money back then, when I had two weeks, same pay, all that kind of stuff, then they kind of would now, but it took us a long time, and some convincing, and the right type of people to work with us, and lots of financial statements, because, and this is the thing, they asked us. They’re like, “What if it goes away?”

We’re like, “We’ll find another way to make money.”

We’re not concerned about that. It’s like, if I had a job-

If it goes away, all the knowledge I have in my head will not be sucked out of me.

No. We can find another way to build a business. This is the thing, when we have a job we think it’s security, and I used to work in HR, so I know how many weeks you have to pay someone when you want to let them go, or in lieu of notice, and all that stuff. Guys, it’s not a lot of time. It’s not a lot of time, and for every $10,000 that you want to make in a regular job it’s going to take you that many months to find the job.

That’s so true. That’s so true.

Ultimately, what we want you to understand here is that there is so much money out in the universe. It would blow your mind. Not only is there so much money out there, there are so many people that are willing to pay for the business that you’re looking to start. If you want to get into course development, there are people out there that are willing to pay $97, $295, over $1000, $10,000. We’re in a mastermind right now where we’re paying $50,000 a year to learn from specific individuals. There are, and let me just be really clear, seven years ago, if you told me, “One day you’re going to pay 50 grand a year to learn from two dudes.”

I would’ve been like, “Are you insane? That’s not happening.”

Because we’ve built our business in such a way, we’ve realized there are so many people, and let me tell you, we thought, “Who could ever afford this?”

When we signed up for this thing, I think there was over 2000 people that were in an audience of 7000 at an event, that all had the income and had the money and signed up and did it.

They’ve found a way to have the income, and we want to make sure you guys understand. There isn’t a set amount of money in the universe solely just for you. It’s not you’re only going to make X amount of dollars. Maybe that’s the employee mindset for that, but when you decide to open up your mindset around money and realize that as long as you work smart for it, and you develop different things, and you develop your skills, and you develop your mindset, and you do a lot of learning, your potential is endless.

Even for us, and again, we can’t promise that you’ll make any money starting your online business, full caveat out there, that’s all up to you, but at the same time, at the same time I can tell you, once we got to 100 grand that we were earning per year in our side businesses, at first I was like, “That could be really hard to do.”

But we did it, and then I was like, “Wow. I wonder how hard it would be to get to 250?”

Then we did that, and then it was half a million. We did that, and then it was million a year, and we’re like, “That one’s not say hard. How do we get to 10 million?”

It’s not like there was no limit. The only limit is yourself, and I think that’s a big key in this myth.

This ties into the next myth that we’re going to talk about. We talk a lot about the movie the Secret, and if you haven’t seen it, definitely give it a watch or read the book, but a lot of people think that if they just secret the money that it will show up. If you build it, they will come. No, that’s not really how that works. Secreting the money is not going to.

I think there’s two parts of manifestation. You have to definitely be open to it, and talk like you deserve all of the income that you working for and providing value for, but the other half is actually doing the work.

Let’s talk about myth number five.

This is an interesting one, because there’s a lot of different thoughts out there, or stream of thoughts I guess we’ll call them, about how to get more money, how to save money, how to earn money. If you look at Rich Dad, Poor Dad versus Dave Ramsey. They have different methods, and there’s a really big one that most people subscribe to, which is…

Save money. Cut costs.

Right. That’s the only way you’re going to have money.

This is, I think, where I strongly would, I don’t want to say disagree, for me, because there’s different people. For you, saving money might work great for you, and if that works great for you, and it gets you out of debt, that’s amazing. Do that. I’m going to tell you that what I find works the best is to create more income. Be careful where you spend your money. If you’re making X dollars, I would recommend that you invest it all into your business. I wouldn’t worry so much about becoming “debt free”, because I think there’s good debt, and then there’s bad debt. I’m not here to give you financial advice, but the big myth I want you to break here is that the only way to get money is to save money. That’s a huge myth. If you just start saving money, if I relied on that, let’s say I didn’t invest in my business seven years ago, I’d still be working a full-time job, I’d still be earning a little bit over six figures, which is great, but I wouldn’t have what we have right now, not even close, because instead of saving that money, and maybe saving up, I don’t know what I would’ve saved by now, but what I did is I invested into business.

Even time that our business takes a next step forward, we invest more into the business. We buy better podcasting equipment, we buy better video equipment, we take out more Facebook ads, we hire a new person when we can. We do all these things. I would say that one of the best ways to get more money is to invest more money into yourself, into your business, into taking action with myth four like Erin said. You can’t just secret the money, and say, “I want money.”

It’s never going to happen. Imagine if just kneeled down right now and be like, “Please, let money fall from the sky.”

I’m not going to open my front door, and all of sudden there’s going to be a box of a million dollars. I believe that if you put that out into the universe, and you apply hard work and effort, and you take money you’re bringing in from your full-time job, and investing it into your side hustle. Think about it. Let’s do a quick exercise here, and then we’ll go onto the challenge. If you, let’s say, every two months, you have $1000 of income that you could use for whatever you want. In there, maybe it’s going out for dinners, maybe it’s going to a movie, maybe it’s buying new clothing, items like that. Thousand bucks every two months. That means that in a year you got $6000 that you could use discretionary however you want. Imagine if you took that $6000, and we divided that up, and you took a course from us, and you learn how to run Facebook ads properly, and now you’re spending 300 of that per month on Facebook ads, and growing your Instagram following by thousands, or your Facebook following by thousands. You’re connecting with new people. Maybe you take some more of that money and you buy sample products for, let’s say, a new eyelash business you want to start from China, and you buy products.

There are so many other things you could do with that money. If you choose to take that six grand per year, and blow it on going out, having fancy dinners, and going out to movies, all that kind of great stuff, that’s on you. That’s your call, but I would say, then, if that’s who you are, then maybe start saving money. If you’re someone that wants to grow a massive business, take that money, and invest it into your business, and I think your returns are going to be absolutely exponential.

Totally. I could not agree more.

Why don’t we move onto the challenge for today, because I know we gave everyone a lot of information around mindset and myths and money and all that stuff. I think this is just going to be such a great challenge for you guys to do. What I would love for you guys to do is, obviously if you’re listening to this you can’t do this right now, but what I want you to do is, you have to look at the myths that you have currently in your life that surround your relationship with money, and I’m not kidding. I mean, you actually have a relationship with money. You might be like, “I don’t understand.”

What I want you to do is write a letter to money. Have you mistreated it in the past? Have you abused it? Have you not cherished it?

Like, Dear Money?

Dear Money. Seriously. Dear Money, and I want you to kind of go through your history with money in your life. Maybe it’s been an ebb and flow, maybe you just struggled with it all your life. I want you to kind of look at how you’ve treated it. Have you wasted it? Have you appreciated it? Have you had gratitude for it? Really take time to do this exercise, because when I’ve worked with clients who’ve done this exercise, they had no idea they had all these preconceived notions about money that was actually holding them back from earning more.

I hope you guys take the time to do this, because this will be kind of like the stuff that makes your mindset around money stick.

I love it. Let’s summarize.

Myth number one that we crushed is exchanging time for money? I don’t think so.

Myth number two: school teaches you to become filthy rich.

No. J-O-B, guys.

Not a chance.

Myth number three: there is a finite amount of money in the world?

No.

Myth number four: if you secret money, it’ll just come?

Also no.

And myth number five: the only way to get more money is to…

Save money.

All right. Hopefully you’ve figured all those things out. Hopefully you’ll take us up on that challenge, and with that one I want to remind you to ditch the employee mindset.

And start living the Boss Life.

We’ll see you in the next episode.

Bye, guys.

It can be lonely to build an online business! How do entrepreneurs do it? In today’s episode of The Boss Life Podcast, Miguel and Erin Carrasco give you some golden tips to think about the new time you think “I’m lonely!”

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Resources From Today’s The Boss Life Podcast

• How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t – Andrea Owen
• You Are A Bad Ass – Jen Sincero
• Join The Science of Building Your Online Empire

Three Key Boss Points From Today’s Podcast

• Get a new circle of friends who are goal oriented
• Focus on personal development
• Attend events

How To Deal With Loneliness As You Build Your Online Business – Transcript

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about to deal with loneliness as you build your online business.

I’m so glad you’re the one who’s singing.

(singing). Should I keep going?

Oh yeah, because that part’s really high. Today’s episode is going to be really awesome. I’m really excited about it because this is stuff that nobody really talks about. And we kind of went through different phases. When you’re building your business, maybe it’s starting it, and getting it off the ground. Or maybe, you’ve been able to build your online business to a point where you have left your full-time job, and you’re trying to deal with transitioning there, and dealing with loneliness there, right? We want to talk a little bit about this as you begin your online business. There are certain things that you can do, that will help with-

Yeah, we’re going to give you like six awesome tips that have helped us not be so lonely when we’re growing the business.

And it’s funny. Yes, we do work together, yes we do live together. But often when we’re working together, we are like not, we don’t sit with each other.

No, not a all. That never works. When we first started the business we tried to do that.

We thought it was going to be so cool. We put two little desks in a tiny room.

That lasted all of 20 minutes.

Yeah, it was terrible. The way I work is so different than the way that he works.

I like it nice and cold.

And I need a heater.

And I like music on blasting.

And I need quiet.

And I like the lights off.

And I needed lights.

So this all didn’t work.

We’re like, “This is terrible.” So, we just, we found a way to make it work for us. And, you guys will too. If you are working with your partner and you’re like, “Oh, I want to be with them.” Sometimes it’s going to work and sometimes you’re going to have to find your own space, like a closet or something.

Yeah, so like, let’s talk about the first thing. The first one, that I could say is, if you’re feeling lonely and you’re building a business, or you’re about to start building a business, chances are, a big part of that is your existing friend circle. Just because you’re the one that all of a sudden, all your friend circle decides that you’re actually going to take action and build a business, doesn’t mean that the rest of your closest five friends are also going to start building a business.

Because generally, when you’re spending your time building your business, it’s going to be after work. It’s going to be on weekends. And this is where your buddies are going to want to hang out with you. And we’re not saying not to hang out with your buds, however, this is going to be a challenge for some of you who are still working for your weekends, right?

You’ve got to make some decisions here. This is a decision point. Time to get real. Do you want to build a business, and do you really want to achieve your goals, or do you want to continue doing what you’ve always done, because if you continue doing what you’ve always done, you’ll get the results that you’ve always gotten.

And I’m pretty sure that’s not why you started this online business.

Right, so one of the things, when you start doing that, and I’ll get to the point in a second. Once you start, like for example, they always say that you become the average of the five people you hang out with the most. And this is so true. So if you become that one person, that all of a sudden is like, you know what, I’ve had it, I got to change my life, I want to build this side business, I want to build a side hustle. I’ve got a calling, I’ve got a vision. I know I can do more, I can achieve more, I’m meant for more. You decide to do that, whenever you have that moment, doesn’t mean that your friends all are going to have that moment and cheer you on, right? We’ve talked about this in other episodes. So what will happen a lot of times is if you’re strong, and you do it, you’re going to end up, your friends are going to keep going out. They’re not going to stop their lives. They’re going to keep doing what they’ve always done. Not building a business and living for the weekend and doing what they want to do.

But that’s going to leave you probably a little bit lonely, because now you’re like, well, the friends I used to hang out with, they’re not calling me anymore, not texting me anymore. Or they’re doing their own things, and I don’t have that anymore. I don’t have that social element. One of the tricks that I can tell you here, is that you should get a new circle. And you should replace that circle. So the top five people, maybe that you’ve always hung out with, think of who they are, and now think of the top five people that you want to hang out with. And you might not know who they are yet, and we’re going to give you some ideas of where you can find these people as well, kind of in our other steps. But at the end of the day, if you are battling with a little bit of loneliness, because you started doing something new, chances are the biggest thing you can do, the number one thing you can do is get a new circle of friends.

And we’re going to talk, like Miguel said, about where you might find these people in your life. Because they might not be in your backyard.

They probably are not, definitely not in your backyard. And they can be in multiple places. They could be, and we’ll talk about them in a second, advance all that kind of stuff. But also they could even be in your personal development. As we go to the next few things, sometimes even just people that you don’t know, that you’re just watching and following their journey. Even this podcast episode. While you’re listening to this podcast episode, it’s probably very hard for you to be lonely. Because even if you were before, now you’re engaging with us, you’re talking with us, you’re listening to us, maybe you go to TheBossLife.com/Start and you join our Science To Building Your Online Empire. You join that group, you start engaging in the content, you start meeting people that are on your same journey.

All of a sudden you start creating this whole new circle, and you start to realize that you know what? And we’re not saying not be friends with your old friends. Having a new circle that are headed in your direction, that’s actually probably going to give you more appreciation for your other friends, and to let them do their own thing, and you can still hang out with them once in a while. But I will tell you though, I have changed my circle of friends every four or five years. Not on purpose, it’s just that I’ve leveled up. Erin’s leveled up. And we continuously level up. And in our hearts, in Erin’s heart, and my heart, a big calling is to become the best we can be in the time that we have here on earth to serve people. And so, whoever’s on that journey with us is probably going to stay in our circle.

But if some people decide you know what, that’s not for me, I don’t want to do that, I’m not doing that stuff, I’m going out this weekend, or even, I’m just going to stay at home. I don’t want to build a business. My husband works. I’m just going to hang out with my kids. That’s their own personal decision. But yes, we would be very lonely if we didn’t get a new circle. But we do have a new circle. We’re flying out in a couple days to a conference, and we’re hanging out with some incredible friends that have built huge businesses. You just got to get that new circle and you’ll see that there actually is life after your friends from high school in a lot of cases.

Right. And we want to make sure that you guys understand that this is a process. And it takes time to do this. And it takes effort. So if you want to get a new circle, you have to do things you’ve never done before. And when we talk about diving into personal or business development, one of the first things, if I can give a personal example, when I first started on my personal development journey, I bought into a course from Jen Sincero, and so when her book, You Are a Badass was super huge, if you’ve never read that book, it’s an amazing book. It kind of changed my mindset a lot around everything. I took a full leap. I wasn’t making the income back then to sign up for a course but I’m like, this is going to get me to the next level. And so when I took her course, it was really awesome because I was put into a group with other people who had also made that leap, and so when you decide to go all in with your personal development, whether it’s a course, whether it’s a podcast, whether it’s, you know, when we’re saying masterminds. It depends on what level you’re at in terms of your business.

But when you start doing that and you start getting introduced and connected with other people who are doing the same thing, it’s going to make your world so much less lonely. Because they are going to be struggling with very similar things that you’re struggling with.

Yeah, even the books that you read. We have a book right in front of us right now, what’s it say?

How To Stop Feeling Like, I don’t want to swear because then we’re going to have to put the E thing.

And our kids listen to this podcast.

S-H-I-T. So it’s an amazing book, by Andrea Owen, and I just, I love her. She’s actually going to be a guest on our podcast. And so I’m really excited to bring her to you because her book was amazing. We ended up doing a book study last summer with her book. Because it was so life-changing for me, and so many of our friends and our clients decided to jump on. And every week, on a Sunday, like in summer. I don’t know who else does this, but people who want to get better decided to hop on a call. It was a Zoom call. And we all talked about the chapters. And it was different than your regular fiction book where you’re like, so what do you think this character was motivated to do? And those are great too, and I’m not knocking them at all, but the people that I’m surrounding myself with now, they’re those type of people who want to get on a call on a Sunday evening in the summer and talk about a book that’s opened up your awareness, and changed your life, and sparked something in you. So, you will find those people in your life if you start to do the activities that enable you to find them.

If we look at the next point that I kind of want to get to, is that if you want to really start finding more of those people, and fighting the loneliness, one of the best ways to do that is to attend events.

Yeah, attending events is so key. For me, the last point and this point really are kind of like taking the red pill and the blue pill. I’m dating myself, if you haven’t watched The Matrix, the greatest movie trilogy of all time. After Back To The Future, after The Karate Kid.

I have seen The Matrix, however I still don’t know what this reference means.

Yeah, so there’s the red pill and the blue pill, right? And so at one point in the movie, Neo is asked to take red pill or the blue pill, right? You take the red pill, and you find out the truth. And you take the blue pill and you basically kind of stay in a coma. And in this movie basically the aliens are harvesting human, basically bodies. To power the universe. And in order to keep them there, they’re just feeding stuff into their mind. It’s like mind control.

This is Keanu Reeves, right?

Yes, Keanu Reeves. Yeah. From Winnipeg.

There we go.

And anyway, so then he decides to take the, obviously the red pill. And he finds out the truth. The truth being that, and he wakes up. And so that’s what happens when you do personal development and you go to events. That’s why we’re saying that the loneliness will go away. Because if you just say I’m going to do something, and then you start working on your own without doing these things, you’re going to get very lonely. But once you start reading personal development, and you start attending events, you’re going to see the truth. How many of you have been listening to all of our episodes, and you’re learning stuff, and it’s kind of opening your mind to things that you didn’t even realize were there? In another episode we did a few days ago, we talked about the rules that you have in your mind. How many of you didn’t even know that? And so once you start learning these things, the social constructs, how your mind works. Once you start learning that you can make more income with a side hustle. Once you start realizing that it’s not that hard, then all of a sudden you can’t just-

You can’t go back.

You can’t go back, you can’t go back to like being, oh okay, well it’s party time this weekend. Because you’re going to know that there’s so much opportunity out there. And you can’t go back to hanging out with your friends that aren’t building businesses, because you know that there are people that are. Events are so key for that. Even right now. If you were to go and search your local community for events that are local, sometimes they’re free, sometimes they’re 10 bucks, 20 bucks. Whatever they may be. You should attend those. If you can find conferences that are bigger. Sometimes they’re a little more money. 200 bucks. And they’re local. Sometimes you can fly to events, whatever you choose to do. By going to those events, and immersing yourself in those environments where people are trying to grow and become the best versions of themselves, or they’re trying to build businesses. Tony Robbins flies all over the place. We saw him live in Winnipeg. When you go to those types of events, right? When you go to, for example, in our city. There’s an event called The Secret Handshake. Shout-out to them.

There is?

Yeah, they’ve been doing it for years. And it’s basically entrepreneurs that met once a month.

This introvert is not interested.

Yeah, but you go to these events, and you’re going to meet a ton of introverts. Because most entrepreneurs are really introverted. It’s not like you would think, you’re going to walk into a bar and all these extroverts like high-fiving, secret handshake stuff.

I don’t know.

You walk in, and you get like a little name tag. It looks super cool, and people like chat. And talk about business. So there’s nothing stopping you from going and meeting these people, and hanging out and getting to know them and start building businesses together. Most cities have huge, specific foundations that have been set up in order to help grow entrepreneurship. So there’s all these things that you could research. In your specific cities to figure out. And join the clubs. Join the events. Some of them are free. So like, if you immerse yourself in these things, like Erin said personal development. That’s great in terms of reading and learning. But then if you take the next step and start attending these events, you’re going to see, your eyes are going to open even that much more.

And if you want to take it to another level, bring your significant other or your partner, your spouse to the events. Because chances are, sometimes they’re going to think you’re the only crazy one who has these crazy nights on their phone, and up late, and working hard. And then they’re going to meet other people who are kind of like you. And they’re going to be like, their mind is going to be blown. They’re going to be like, wow. You’re not just the only crazy person out there.

Right?

But yeah. I think that’s a really great point about getting to events, finding them, not all of them are super expensive. But you have to, again, you have to take that leap. You have to take that first step, and do the research. Because you will find people who are crazy like you.

And I know there are some introverts right now thinking, “I’m never going to do that Miguel. I’m never going to do that Erin.”

But you know what, I will say, as an introvert, it is possible to go to an event and sit on the side. And like, just to get there.

Yeah, like right now. Just go to Google and type in like entrepreneurship events.

Or drag a friend with you.

And your city. Just type that in. You’ll find a ton. Type in Ted Talks, whatever your city is. Chances are those are going on, right? You go to, and just go. Trust me. You do this, and you come back, and you tell me that it was bad. You won’t. You’ll tell me that this changed your life. Because if you’re someone that’s absolutely struggling with this kind of stuff, like you’re lonely because you’re building a business, you go to events, you’re going to meet so many people. And what’s cool is they will level you up. Because if you’ve never gone to these events, you’ve never been surrounded with these people. Being around people that are maybe in some cases further ahead than you are, and you’re chatting with them and stuff, you’re going to be pulled into that direction more, and more, and more. And then all of a sudden, you’re going to be like, wow. I can’t believe I used to waste my weekends.

And if you’re still not sold, introverts listening to it, just do it afraid. Take the leap, and do it afraid, and it’s going to be scary for you, for a lot of you.

Do it afraid. We should get that on a shirt.

Do it afraid. And really, honestly, there’s going to be people, and if you meet some extroverts who are kind of too much for you, it’s great. Because they take up the time, and they like to talk. So it’s good. So let’s talk about the next point with how to deal with loneliness while you’re building your online business.

Yeah, so we talked a couple days ago about the idea of rules. And rules that you’ve created.

I think a lot of the times you’ve created these rules around your business, of what it’s going to look like. What is going to look like when I build my online business?

Can I give you an example?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I’m going to go for lunches, whatever I want, it’s going to be awesome. Going to go do some golfing, I’m going to go to the cottage, all summer long. I don’t have a boss anymore. Oh yeah.

And I think this is the biggest thing is that we have these rules that we’ve created of what it’s going to look like, and this freedom, and all that stuff. And then, we realize, we’re like, oh crap, I still have to do the work. And I didn’t either work enough this month to pay for this, so I got to work extra hard to find sales, and clients, and all that stuff. Because building your online business, you get out of it what you put into it. And so sometimes, we have these rules that we’ve created, these preconceived notions of what it’s going to look like, versus what it actually looks like. And so the discrepancy between what it looks like, and what we thought it was going to look like, is where the loneliness comes into play.

That’s why I love, I’ll be honest, that’s why I love the network marketing model. And we haven’t talked about network marketing too much, but I’ll just bring it up for a few minutes here. Because a big pro, if you find a really good company with network marketing, is that you’re surrounded by people that are trying to build a business.

Oh, totally.

I love that. And you have a coach, and you’ve got personal development for free, and you’re just in this really positive group of people that are all trying to build a business. Whereas, all the other models out there, you’re doing it on your own.

Yeah, it’s funny. Any time we’ve been to an event, with our company, and we descend upon the city, the comments are always, “You guys are so happy. You guys are so nice.” Nice and happy. And people that are kind of weirded out when you’re happy.

They are. Isn’t it weird? Being happy is like the new weird.

It is, because people are like, “I don’t get it. Why are you so excited all the time?”

So let’s go to the next one. So, the next one’s kind of important. Because I think that if you’re feeling lonely as you’re building an online business, or as you’re trying to go in this new direction, chances are you’re focusing too much on what you’re losing, every single day, every single minute, versus what you’re gaining.

Totally.

And I’m going to talk a little bit about this at the end. But, if you think about it, if you’re feeling lonely, chances are you’re sitting there right now going, “I’m going to have to work this weekend. I’m not going to be able to go to that birthday party. And then on Saturday, I’m going to miss that thing. And this isn’t fair. I want to go partying.” Or if you have kids, you’re all like, “I don’t want to miss the gymnastics practice that’s coming up. I’ve always gone to all the practices. I don’t want to miss that, I don’t want to do these things, I don’t want to put in the work. I want to watch a movie with my spouse. It’s Netflix time, it’s Game Of Thrones night.”

Oh yeah.

If you’re focusing on all that negative energy, your mind is just going to go negative. And you’re going to get lonely. And you’re going to focus on that. What you really got to do, is just focus on what you’re gaining. Because negativity expands. But positivity expands just as much. So if you start focusing on all the good things you’re going to get. Like, as an example, I’m going to have more money to spend on my business if I don’t go out, right? I’m going to meet more incredible, positive people that are going in the direction that I want to go. If you start thinking about the things like, I’m going to have more time for my kids in a year. A little sacrifice now, I’m going to have more time for my kids. I’m going to have more money. I’m not going to have to be worried about buying soccer cleats every year, or hockey equipment. Because I’m going to have the money from this side hustle that I’m building.

Because man, that stuff adds up.

It really does. We’re doing pretty well, but even this, oh man.

Three kids, three sports.

It’s a lot. It all adds up, right? So you could even focus on long-term positive things. Maybe in a year, we’ll go to Disney World and hang out and have a good time. So if you focus on the positives, what you’re going to get. If you’re single, maybe a new car that you could buy if you were to make an extra 10, 20 grand a year. There’s so many things you could be focusing on.

Mani-pedi, new shoes.

New purse. I don’t know.

I need to go shopping.

You should. You should go shopping. You deserve it.

Yeah.

So the thing is, you got to focus on the positive. But this fifth point really was all about stop focusing on all the negative stuff that you perceive is going to happen, because it’s not reality. And start focusing on the positive stuff that you have to gain from doing this business.

And I think sometimes when we are letting go of our past, there is a grieving part of it. That no one really talks about, which is really important for us to acknowledge. Is that, it is hard, and there is going to be pain, leaving that life behind. Because it is, everything that you’ve, that’s what you’ve known, right? And so, when you’re moving out of that old life, and into this new life, there’s going to be some growing pains with it. And it’s okay to miss the old life, and miss all that, but focusing on what you’re gaining out of it, like Miguel was saying is going to be key to sticking to it.

Yes. Very true. And the last one.

This is a really part of the good one.

Last one, want me to do it?

Yeah, do it.

Get to work, people.

Just do it.

If you’re lonely, I’ll tell you, then you’re probably not working too much. You’re probably sitting there, laptop closed, phone closed, and thinking about, again, all the negative stuff, instead of just actually working. If you’re excited about building this, and you believe you can achieve this, and you’re following our guidance, then you’re going to have success. But the one thing that holds you back from that is that you’ve got to get to work. You got to do stuff. You got to look up a domain name you want to buy for 12 bucks on GoDaddy. You got to research your brand name. You got to implement the things we’re teaching you. You got to join The Science of Building Your Online Empire. You got to take us up on these challenges. If you’re putting in the work, there’s not going to be much time for you to be lonely. And if you’re doing it right, in fact, you’re going to be hoping for the next time that you got a few hours to yourself.

Right. And I think that you have to be very, very mindful of this. Scrolling Facebook, and scrolling Instagram is a semblance of working when you build an online business. That is not working, and if that is something that you’re doing, then saying, “Oh, I’m busy. I’m looking for new clients. I’m looking for this. I’m doing research.” You’re not. You’re just spending time on Facebook and Instagram.

Yeah. I’ll give you an example of working online versus not. Like scrolling, and bla, bla, bla, for no reason. That’s horrible. And we should probably do some tips on growing a business on Facebook.

Wow, that’s a good idea.

We could do that. But I’ll give you one real quick. If you have a business, I’ll give you an example. And you’re selling, I don’t know, eyelashes or something online. You could easily, even if you don’t have money to spend on ads, you could spend time on Facebook, sure. But then, join groups about hair, and makeup, and tips, and things like this. And join all those groups. Join 15 groups. You could do all that in an hour. And then go into those groups, and look at the most popular posts. Look at the ones with the most comments. And then read the comments that got commented, and then you go in there, and you add the best comment that’s ever been added to that thread. And what will happen is, people will read it, they’ll like it, they’ll comment on it, and your comment will be the first comment that’s going to show up on those posts.

You do that with 15 groups in an hour or two. You’re growing a business. People will see your comment, they’re going to add you. They’re going to go to your profile, they’re going to see your business, they’re going to go to your business page. They’re going to add you on Instagram. There’s so many things you could do. That we teach in The Science of Building Your Online Empire. There’s no reason for you not to be working, and just sitting there being lonely. I think that’s a big key.

Oh, totally. Totally agree.

So, the next thing is the challenge. Why don’t you give us a quick overview of the six things that we talked about, Erin, and then I’ll give them the challenge.

Sure. So the first thing we talked about is making sure you get a new circle. Because surrounding yourself with people who are doing what you’re doing, or doing more than what you’re doing. The second thing we talked about was really diving into personal or business development. And a lot ways to do that is with the next point, is attending events. This could be in your city, this could be online, this could be in another city. And then really, the next point is look at your rules. The rules that you’ve set up for yourself, the preconceived notions of the rules that you’ve set up. And acknowledge where your falling short with either the rule that you’ve set up, or have you created a new rule for yourself? And if you haven’t, make sure you get on that. Because that’s going to be key to your success. And then we talk about making sure that you’re not just focusing on the stuff that you’re losing. and really focusing on the stuff that you’re gaining, and what you’re really working for. And then, really, get to work.

I love it. You’ve got to get to work. So let’s talk about the challenge here for a minute. There’s so many different things. I mean, each one of these points could potentially for you be a challenge. So I’m going to give you two options. Option number one for the challenge to do today, option number one is, what I want you to do is figure out what are you working towards? What are you going to focus your mindset on positively? So instead of focusing on the negative, what is that one thing you’re going to do? So maybe in 12 months, you’re goal is to take your family on a trip to Disney with some of the money that you’re going to be making in this brand new business that you’re going to pour yourself into. Maybe it’s two years from now. Maybe it’s helping to pay off one of those car loans that you’ve been trying to pay off. Maybe it’s as simple as making an extra mortgage payment this year, that you weren’t planning on being able to do. Maybe it’s putting your kids in one more activity. What is the goal?

It’s kind of like, we’ll do an episode on dream boards at some point. Dream boards are very powerful, because you can literally go through magazines, you can go online. You can search things. And you can really plan out, what are you going to accomplish in the next five years? And seeing all that visually can really help center you and make you focus on why you’re doing what you’re doing. And remind you why you’re doing what you’re doing. So that’s option one for the challenge.

Option two for the challenge, I will say is find an event in your area. If you don’t want to do that one, do this one. Or do both, if you’re an overachiever. Find an event in your area that you can attend in the next two months, that’s coming up. So maybe it’s this weekend, maybe it’s the next two months, that’s coming up. So maybe it’s this weekend, maybe it’s the next two months. I want you to find an event, I want you to register for it. And I want you to attend it. And I think you’re going to see, when you go to that event, that your mindset’s going to shift, you’re going to find new people, new connections that are on your wavelength, and your whole circle will start to change.

I love that.

I love it. So, with that, we shared a lot. So we want to make sure that you ditch the employee mindset. And start living The Boss Life.

In this episode, The Boss Life helps you unlock your true potential by getting rid of some of your biggest limiting beliefs. Erin and Miguel Carrasco walk you through how these rules go into your head, and how to get rid of them.

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Resources From Today’s The Boss Life Podcast

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Three Key Boss Points From Today’s Podcast

• Learn the four types of Success Sucking Rules and where they came from.

Success Sucking Rules That You Didn’t Even Know You Had – Transcript

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about success sucking rules that you didn’t even know you had.

Success sucking rules. You have success sucking rules?

Well, I probably still have some. I had lots before, but I dumped them all because they were sucking.

They were sucking your life out of you?

They were sucking the life out of not only just me but my business. I think what’s interesting… Let me set this all up. Is that cool? Then we’ll dive right into the- [crosstalk]

Sure. Let’s do it.

What does this even mean? I don’t know if you know this or not, but in a lot of ways you don’t have free will.

What?

Yeah, you don’t. You actually don’t do what you want to do most of the time.

You’re going to need to explain this a little bit.

Yeah. People are like, “Yes, I do it. I do what I want.” You don’t do what you want. The way your life works is based on a lot of factors which is what we’re going to cover today. You created rules in your head that govern every decision you make. For example, let’s say you’re going to have a bite of brownie. There’s a bite of brownie in front of you and you’re about to eat it.

Mmmm, brownie.

You actually decide whether you’re going to eat it or not. Your brain goes to rules, neural pathways that have been created in your mind to decide what you’re going to do based on your past experiences. In reality, a lot of what you’ve… what’s happened to you in the past is what’s created this rules, and then based on these rules is how you take action. A lot like software.

So I have rules about brownies?

You have rules about every little thing. It would blow your mind. The fact you just laughed a little bit now, there was a rule in your head, said that you made a joke that was kind of funny and so you’re going to do a little giggle.

I have a great rule about that. Everything is funny.

Everything’s funny. You just laugh at everything?

Absolutely.

That’s sweet.

Makes my life much better.

It does. That’s a big part of what we want to cover today is these rules, because some rules that you’ve created needs to… we need to get those written out and then we need to get rid of them because they’re the reason why you may be are not having the success that you deserve to have in your business based on… I meet a lot of people that are having great success in their business, but they can’t take that next level. Chances are they’ve got rules.

Yeah. The whole point of this podcast in particular is to enable you to be aware of them. You hear us talk a lot about that in the podcast, is that awareness is kind of your first step to changing any of the habits that you have or any of these rules. So we’re going to talk a little bit about generational rules. We’re going to talk a little bit about societal rules. We’re going to talk about rules that you’ve might’ve made up. Why don’t we dive right into rules maybe that had been passed down generationally.

Generationally?

Yeah.

What does that mean. There’s rules that have been passed down generationally?

Yeah. A lot of the rules that have been passed down, we aren’t really even aware of them.

So it’s not like a book that your great-grandpa gave you because he’s read the rules.

No. He didn’t write out the rules. It’s like, these are the Carrasco family rules. No. It’s usually we have absorbed these rules from our parents or our grandparents. It’s something like… it’s so subliminal, so subconscious because these rules aren’t necessarily told to us. Sometimes they are, but a lot of the times they’re modeled. So when we look at behavior as a whole, the best way for someone to teach you something or the best way that you absorb stuff is you watch it happen. When we’re kids, maybe we watched our parents however they decided to earn money in their life, and how they decided to talk to you about money or the phrases they said about money or working. Those begin your rules.

I’ll give you like a great example of a couple rules that might fall into this category. Some of you might have the rule that you get paid for the hours that you work, because that’s what your parents did. So your whole goal was to get a good college degree or a university degree-

Go to school.

Go to school.

Get a job.

Get a what? Job.

Yeah. Get a J-O-B.

Yeah. Once you leave that job, you’re going to… once you leave that… the university or college, you’re going to get a job, it’s going to pay you something, you’re going to start paying off the student loan that you have. Then that’s just basically your life. You’re going to work somewhere for 25 years, are going to retire-

Get a pension.

… then a nice little pension plan.

Yeah. Don’t ever leave the pension.

And maybe some of you generationally have a rule of money. Like, well, all rich people are what? Evil. So sometimes that’s passed down. So-

We’re going to do a whole episode on money specifically just because I think it is such an important part in the behaviors that we have and the action that we take or do not take around success. But that is one of the biggest one that’s passed down is besides the job one is the money one.

Yeah. Some of you might have other roles as well. You might have rules for example of, don’t need to work on the weekends because you work a nine to five job, Monday to Friday. Therefore, weekends are for partying. Right?

Right.

Have a good time.

Even like-

Relaxing.

… in your relationship, how many of you guys, if you can think of this right now, you know in your house there’s a blue job and there’s a paint job. I know I hate using those labels, however, we kind of have them. So we’ve either created them ourselves with our spouse or our partner or they’ve been passed down and usually, I mean, if you’ve been married or you’ve been living with someone for a long time and you kind of look at their rules that they come into relationship with and your roles, a lot of the fights that you have at the beginning, it’s like the rules are different.

Yeah. You need to be really aware of these rules that have been passed down generally generationally. I almost can’t even say that word. That was a scientific word Erin came up with.

Yeah. I think when we’re looking at generational rules, it’s going to be harder to pick those out because we’re going to have a cool assignment for you at the end. Miguel’s going to give you an awesome challenge, but being aware of these generational rules, like what Miguel said was, a lot of the times, it surrounds our job, right? So if we’re working a nine to five during the day and we’re like, “Okay, I’m going to… I’m tired tonight after work. I’m just going to vege and watch TV.”

You got to make a new rule. That rule is almost the number one rule I hear from people that are trying to build businesses. The way they say it isn’t so much that they’re being lazy.

No.

You can hear when they talk to you. It’s almost like they’re saying, “Listen, the rule is, weekends are for me to relax. You’re telling me that I need to work on the weekend.” And that rule that’s been passed down needs to get crushed. That’s a big rule. If you believe right now you’re listening to his podcast that you know, you’re working really hard, nine to five, Monday to Friday, and then on the weekends you can’t wait to party. That’s our big problem.

Yeah. And you might not be partying for some of you guys who are parents. It might be like, “Oh, it’s family time.” We’re not saying, “Don’t have family.”

How dare you Erin. It’s family’s time.

Right. I mean, we have three kids. So I mean, we absolutely understand that weekends are really busy, especially for us and probably you guys too. We’re not saying like, “Don’t spend time with your family.” But if you look at it saying, “This is the only rule I have to do this weekend, is spend time with my family,” then it is limiting your success of you trying to build a side business.

I will be really real with this family thing. Just I want to be really clear on this whole thing. For example, this weekend we worked our butts off in this business, but we also worked our butts off in our relationship with our kids. I think a lot of people amount things to time. So, how much time they’ll spend?

Or balance.

For example, this weekend, let’s say you had 12 hours a day. So 12, 12. Let’s say 24 plus I save four hours on Friday. So let’s say you had 28 hours this weekend.

That’s some fast math.

Yeah. Fast math. Yeah. 28 hours to do whatever you wanted to do. You had 28 hours. I’m not including sleep in there. Think about it. What did you do in those 28 hours this weekend? How much of that time did you spend with your family? But fully engaged. Because to me it’s like, this weekend we did our kids to a movie. We weren’t on our phones. We had power and great time. We took them to church, we were engaged with them up singing, dance and doing the whole thing. Came back home, had fire, made S’mores, did the whole thing. Spend time with them. We dug holes and they tried to help us clean and said they were making bigger masses. We were fully engaged with them during that time.

Yeah. It was actual quality time where… because there is time, and I’ll be honest with you guys, there is time where I’m trying to balance it all and I’m on my phone, my kids are talking to me and I’m not fully engaged because I have a lot on my plate. So I know we’re not knocking that at all. But when we say quality time with the kids, like our phones are down.

Right. But even then, like that all total, all right. Talk about 10, 11 hours out of the whole weekend. But we spent like quality, quality time with them. If you talked to them, they know that. But at the same time, here’s what we do. We recorded a podcast this weekend. We just told them, “Hey guys, we’re going to go downstairs, record a podcast for half an hour. Is that cool?” They know that. So they get to know. Our social norms that we’ve taught our… what we’re teaching our kids is that you can have a great time, you can spend quality time together, but you also have to balance that with work. It’s funny, today, this morning I drove the kids to school and they were like, “Hey, can you put on the podcast?” We listened to the podcast, our podcast in the car. Somehow, they listen to us more when we’re on the radio because they think we’re like legit.

We’re authentic.

Yeah. Now you’re legit parents. You’ve got a podcast. Number one business. I’ll listen to this. But when you talk to me in person, I’m not listening. My whole point in all of this is that think about your 28 hours this weekend. You got to make new rules that, sure, weekends are for the family. I’m not going to debate that. But at the same time, weekends are also for you to build your dream business. That is your time.

For your family.

My rule set in my mind that I created generationally was my parents was you got to build your own business. That’s secure. Build your own business. Way More secure than working for somebody else. That’s a rule set. That’s a core principle in my life that I was ingrained when I was little.

Right. I didn’t have that. Mine was, go to school, get a job, work somewhere for 40 years and retire.

Yeah. Because of that, I’ve made certain decisions in my life and then also I also learned that weekends are for working even harder. Monday to Friday you work on the stuff that’s kind of paying your bills and investing in your business. Then on weekends is a time to really enjoy because now it’s created freedom, you can do whatever you want, you can work on your own business, no one can tell you what to do. So my whole life, all the jobs I had, I was always working that way. So friends would say, “Hey, why don’t you come up party this weekend?” I legit. I think I’ve gone to the bar maybe 11 times my entire life. It’s not a thing for me. I would much rather… if you’re asking what is your one thing, if you could do anything this weekend, besides my time with your family, what would you do? I’d be like work like, “Work.” Because for me work isn’t a bad word. That’s another rule in your head. You might have a rule that says,-

Or a hustle or whatever.

… “Your work is bad. Work is bad. You don’t want to work. Work is bad.” No, to me work is awesome. We’re having a great time.

The last thing I think I’m going to say about this point and then we’ll kind of move on, but is that when you start to change your behavior, and I want you guys to be really aware of this, and you change some of those rules, it’s going to rock the boat with people in your life who don’t have those rules, new rules you’re trying to create. If you’re working on the weekend, and say maybe your friends who have different rules or your parents have different rules-

They will be blowing up that phone.

They will be like, “You need to spend time with this. You need to do this.” Because it’s your activity is making them uncomfortable about their rules that they have.

They won’t even say you need to do this. They’ll be like, “Hey, you want to come out and go shopping?” Or, “Hey, you want to go and have a coffee?” Or, “Hey, you want to go to a party tonight?” That stuff’s going to happen, right?

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

And it’s going to be enticing and fun-

Totally.

… and distracting.

And you worked really hard all week so you’re going to be like, “I deserve a break.” But anyways, we’re not saying you don’t deserve a break, but it just- [crosstalk]

You don’t deserve a break.

[crosstalk] your drive where you are building your business. Right?

I would be building them or not. If you’re just starting, you got-

You don’t deserve a break, because you’re starting that.

You don’t deserve a break. What do you deserve a break for? Are you bringing in a hundred grand a year yet? I’m sorry to be real. You don’t deserve a break yet. You will. It’s going to be a great time. It’s going to be awesome, but not yet.

Yeah. So let’s move on to the next set of rules. The next set of rules is that you’ve created them because of past experiences.

I like that.

Past experiences is like, let’s give the example of maybe in a relationship that you’ve had, somebody is left you because you worked too much. I think that has happened to a lot of people. Maybe it’s not necessarily for your side business. Maybe it’s for your regular job, or for the ladies in the audience who are listening, if you say you have a rule about earning more money than your romantic partner, and that might be a role you created that, oh, well, he said that I can’t earn more than him, or he wasn’t okay with me earning more than him. So you’ve decided like, “Well, I can’t earn more money or I’m going to never have a relationship.” That might be a rule that you’ve created because of past experiences.

That’s so true. There’s so many different things that could have happened to you. Maybe even you had a friendship in the past and you started… maybe you started working on a business, Maybe that business didn’t work out because at the end of the day, nine of the 10 things you’re going to try aren’t going to work. That’s part of success. Maybe you lost that friend because you chose to work on that business. So now you’ve created a rule saying, “Well, I’m going to build a business, but as long as I lose my friends in the process.”

Right. Or maybe you’ve had success in your business and your friends were not okay with you being more successful. So you’ve decided, well, I want my friends more than I want the success of my business. So you stopped working as hard.

Yeah. So there’s all these things that could happen. You might have been married and something happened and you blame it on business, whatever it may be. All these things that happened in your life, you create rules from it. And there’s rules. There’s some rules that are good that you should create for yourself, of course. So the key in all of this is figuring out which rules have created that are actually inhibiting your success and they’re not real rules. Let’s move on to the next one.

Yeah. The next one I would say is that there’s rules that you’ve actually created based on social norms and social pressure. I talked a little bit about this one in the last rules, but if there’s a social norm of… like your role in your family. For me, if I’m talking about our family, there’s certain things like, do I do the cooking? Do I do the laundry? Do either do dishes. Do I take the garbage out? Do I fix the fence? You have to look at the rules that you’ve kind of created based on society. So society a lot of the times says that… and it’s still a thing and I’m not ragging on men or anything. It’s still a thing that men outearn women in certain roles. In network marketing, that is absolutely not true.

Not true at all.

It’s one of the industries that it’s not true. We have a lot of friends who are super successful earning like really awesome income and out often they’re earning more than their partners.

Yeah. We’ve been able to experience that dynamic firsthand with a lot of people because we’ve helped a lot of people have incredible success. But what’s been cool is we’ve been able to navigate that, help them with that for the most part. But initially it’s always a shocker. When you have, in a lot of cases people that get started in network marketing are females that either were on mat leave or they were stay at home parents. But now they just get bored. Because it’s only so much, you eventually, if you have an entrepreneurial bone in your body, you’re going to want to do something.

Or you crave human connection.

Craving human connection? What do you mean? Kids aren’t humans?

Oh, they totally are? But sometimes you need to have an adult conversation.

Yeah. So they started building businesses and then obviously we help mentor them and they work really hard and they become incredibly successful. Then all of a sudden they’re making more income than their spouses. Then that whole conversation happens. But for the most part, as long as he navigated it, it becomes what they cool. But the real point we’re trying to make here is, if you have that belief in you that you can’t make more than your spouse, that’s going to really hold you back because you’re going to just self sabotage yourself.

Absolutely.

Along that line as well, maybe you have a belief that in the area that you live, or the… I’ve met people as well that live in a small town and they literally have beliefs in their mind that they don’t want to make more money because they don’t want to be the rich people in the area. So they literally like self sabotage themselves, to a point where they don’t earn more because they don’t want to stand out and they don’t want to lose their friends and they don’t want people hating on them and all these things. So you got to figure all that out because in reality, that’s not true. That wouldn’t happen. I fully believe that money expands who you are.

Yeah. We are going to have to do a whole episode on money.

Yeah. We will. What money does, so if you’re a good person, I believe money will expand the goodness. But if you know you’re a bad person, it’s going to spend a lot of bad stuff. That’s just how it is, it amplifies. Money’s an amplifier.

Yeah. The next part that we really want to cover is… and it’s… Miguel just really touched upon this, is that, you have created rules because of assumptions that you’ve made that aren’t actually true.

What? I’ve made rules that aren’t real?

Pretty much. You’ve made them to sometimes protect yourself. It’s just a lot of them, it’s something that you have to be aware that you’ve done in order to change it.

Yes. An example with that money one again would be like the… let’s say, I need to have money before I start a business. There’s some people that believe that. There’s some people that full unbelieve that, well, I can’t start a business yet. I’m just learning because I need to have a credit card pain down so that I have $5,000 to start my business. Or I need to have $2,000 in my savings account, or I can’t be successful until I buy a course or go to an event or all these things,

Or I can’t be successful until I lose 20 pounds because I don’t want to be seen on social media. A lot of these things we are telling ourselves and it’s creating an excuse for us.

Yeah. So what you got to do again there figure out what the rules are there that you just quite honestly, they’re just not true. There’s a lot of assumptions that we’ve made in our lives that are meant to basically hold you back and you don’t even realize it. That’s what I wanted to get out of that with you.

Right. I think if we go over all these rules right now, if we kind of talked to you about what we mean by rules and that maybe you have some rules that have been passed down generationally or maybe you’ve created roles because of past experiences to protect yourself maybe emotionally, and maybe you’ve had rules that you’ve created because of society and just the social norms that you have been absorbing in our culture. Then maybe you’ve just created rules out of thin air because of these assumptions.

Their rules. I love that one, because all one more coaching people, I’ll ask them like, “Why did you create that belief.” Like, “I don’t know, I just assumed that that’s… I needed more money to get started.”

Right. This is the most important thing that I really want you guys to get out of today’s episode is that all of these starts with awareness, and all of this is shining light on these areas of our life that we don’t actually know are impacting the success that we’re trying to achieve in our life. We think, “Oh, okay, that’s just… that’s great and all that stuff.” But if you don’t actually do the work and dive into this, you’re going to allow these rules to keep navigating your life. So why don’t you give them a little challenge?

Yeah. Let me give you guys a challenge because I think this is important. This is an important exercise and hopefully you do this now. If you’re driving, don’t do it right now. Just pause it. Do it when you get home. But what I want you to do is take out a sheet of paper and on top of that paper I want you to write out, rules that used to control my life. Just write out, rules that used control my life, because I want this to be an empowering exercise. Not like, “Oh no, these are all my terrible rules.”

Yeah. I don’t want you guys to feel like if you have these rules that you’re a terrible person. Everybody starts with certain rules.

Yeah. You should it be real because if you’re not real, this won’t work. Because, as Erin just said, the whole point of this exercise is for you to figure out what these rules are so we can move forward with them. Once you write out the rules, you start thinking about them and you can either play back this episode and you can hear the different kinds of rules that could be in your head, but I need you to write those all down. So for example, for you it might be, I used to believe that I wouldn’t work on the weekends. I needed to have me time. You’d write that out.

Maybe I was unwilling to build my business because I believed that that would mean less time with my family. Those are all rules that are just quite honestly just not true. You need to write all these rules. Like, I believe that I couldn’t earn more money than my husband. I couldn’t earn more money than my wife. Whatever your rule set is. Write all those rules out. Once you’ve written out all those rules, beside that, I want you to draw a line in the middle of that paper. Then beside that, those rules, each one, I want you to write a new rule. At the top of that column, I want you to write out, new rules that will control my destiny.

Mmmm, I like that.

Yeah. I’m fired up about this topic because really like… I don’t know if you… Have you watched The Secret yet?

Yeah.

Again, I love that movie and people are like, “Oh, why? It’s all hokey.” Listen, I don’t believe that you can just go, “Oh, give me more money, give me your money, give me money. Money fall from the sky.” That that it’s going to work. That does not work. What does work is that you can literally control your future by figuring out what your rules are that you function by and then creating new rule sets for yourself. There’s no one telling you that those rules that you just wrote out or are writing out are rules that you must continue to follow.

You can literally get rid of all of those rules right now and beside each one, write a new rule that will serve you, that will help you, that will lift you higher, that will empower you, that will give you more time with your family, that will allow you to never be stressed again financially, that will allow you to build dreams and visions and goals and be more fired up on the weekend ever then you ever were before when you used to party. You have no idea how you can literally unlock your life if you simply just do this exercise. I know it’s a game changer.

I think that you also, when you’re writing out these rules and sometimes it’s going to be hard. We’re not expecting this to be super, super easy for you to get rid of your old rules and build new ones. But a lot of the times what I want you to think about when you’re writing this new rule, if you’re saying, “I’m going to get rid of being tired at the end of the day and having to work on my business.” One of the things I would love you guys to do is just change. Anytime you have that mindset where it’s like, “I have to do this,” you need to switch that perspective to, “You get to do this.”

Exactly. I love that so much. So, hopefully you will take us up on that challenge when we this podcast episode again, and also you should maybe… I know there’s a lot of people that could use this podcast episode, so hopefully you guys forward this on, maybe send people the link so they listen to this and they can transform their life. But, we’ve kept you long enough today, hopefully enough time for you to get to work. With that we want to remind you to ditch the employee mindset… And start living the boss life.

The Boss Life Podcast explains the core difference between ego and confidence so that you can grow at a rapid pace. Learn the core things to look for not just in yourself, but also your coaching clients. Erin and Miguel Carrasco also provide you with some tips and strategies to become incredibly likable!

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Resources From Today’s The Boss Life Podcast

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Three Key Boss Points From Today’s Podcast

• It’s ok to be confident, it’s not going to help you if you have a big ego.
• Learn how to increase your likeability factor!

How Your Ego Is Limiting Your Success – Transcript

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how your ego is limiting your success.

Well there is a strong possibility if you have an ego that it’s really messing with you.

Or you’re let it get in the way and we want to share this with you because I think there’s a lot of times where you hear having confidence is the thing that’s going to build your business and we want to talk a little bit about that and the difference between your confidence and your ego.

Confidence is great.

Yeah.

Ego is terrible.

Well, I think it’s important to still have an ego but a lot of this … Because that will …

Could you just say it? It’s okay to have an ego.

Yeah.

So I can have an ego? Yeah.

To an extent, to an extent.

Dang, I look good.

Because sometimes we need to have a little bit of an oomph to what we do in order to come across a certain way but we want to talk about when that goes too far.

That is so, so true. I mean, there’s a lot of people that I know that are very confident but I don’t sense an ego.

Yes.

But there’s a lot of people that I know that they’re not actually confident.

All you see is their ego.

All you see is ego. Why don’t we start there? What is the difference between ego and confidence? You want me to give some examples or do you want to go?

Yeah, I think you can give them some examples on that one.

Okay, so like basically ego is when you think so highly of yourself that you’re just … You think you can learn from no one, like you’re just untouchable, but in reality, deep down inside, the reason that you express that to the outward world, I would say, is because you actually really, really lack confidence.

Totally.

I think you’ll find a lot of people, if you close your eyes and you think for a moment, and now don’t do this if you’re driving, but if you close your eyes and think for a moment, think of the people that in your life you feel have a big ego, if you think about them, picture them in your mind, I’ll tell you right now that most of those people are the people with the least confidence.

Yeah, and I think like if you look at someone on social media and they’re … And we want to make sure we’re not telling you not to boast about yourself because you do need to talk about your successes when you’re building an online business because otherwise no one will know if you’re having success, but there is a difference. I want you guys to think of one person right now in your life that you see post on social media who it gives off like a yucky vibe. It gives off like look at me, I’m so awesome, it’s all me, me, me, and they might be sharing … Whether it’s sharing financial success, whether they’re sharing fitness success, whether they’re sharing, I don’t know, relationship success. Whatever it is, whatever success they’re sharing, you can tell that that person, it turns you off. We’re going to talk a little bit what they’re doing might be turning you off but there’s that one person, right?

Yeah, and one of the tricks for that I find is that … Well, let’s finish confidence. Confidence is when you actually have gained a lot of knowledge in a specific area and you’re just confident about it because you know a lot. Like to give you an example, I used to study martial arts, right? If you had confidence in martial arts, it’s typically because you trained three times a day, you had already passed your black belt test, you know, you’re just a confident person because of the skills that you have but at the same time you didn’t really have the ego part because you’re just confident in your skills. You’ll see those people post as well on social media and you can tell right away that they’re just confident but they’re not boastful.

Right and I think that that’s the difference. If you look at someone that you know on social media that’s sharing a success and it makes you feel like genuinely happy for them or proud of them or excited, there is a difference in the way that they’re sharing their success.

Yeah, like I know a guy that’s incredibly successful, I don’t know how much he’s worth, but I’m pretty sure he’s got a few businesses worth over a million dollars and he’s always posting new photos of his car, like he’ll post a photo of his R8 or a picture of his new Lamborghini or check out my new house, but then I know some people that are incredibly successful that I know for a fact made over a hundred million dollars selling their businesses and things like that checking out, but they have a nice house, they have all that stuff too but they’re not egotistical about it, they’re not boastful about it. They’re basically just confident about it and I think a big part of that is they’re willing to teach, they’re willing to share. Their posts on social media are more like teaching you new things.

Yeah, they’re adding value to your life, right? And I think a lot of the times is the intention, the intention behind the post, right?

One of the big things. Tell us the next … That’s what the difference between confidence and ego, how can this really affect someone’s success?

The number one reason that this can affect your success, so say that you are letting your ego get in the way, one of the biggest things that we see with a lot of the people that we are helping and a lot of our clients is that the ego gets in the way of being coachable. If you want to be a success and you want to learn from people that are successful or you are paying for someone to be a mentor or a business coach, and one of the number one things that you’re not doing is being coachable, that is because your ego is getting in the way. That is saying you know better than this person who are likely paying to coach you.

That’s so true. I mean, at the end of the day if you’re going for someone for help and advice, right? If your ego gets in the way, you’re not going to be able to learn anything.

Right.

Right? I get it, it’s a fine line, because sometimes what happens is … Let me help you guys a little bit with this, it’s like you don’t want to seem like you don’t know things to someone that you look up to, right?

Totally.

So if you’re going to someone for coaching, some of you let your ego get in the way because you’re like well, I don’t want to sound like I’m not smart enough so I’m going to tell them all the things I know and anytime they say anything I’m going to say oh yeah, yeah, I know that part, right? If you know everything, then what’s the point of getting advice? I’ll tell you, for me specifically, I’ll talk about myself maybe, and maybe Erin can give an example, but like there’s a lot of things that I’m really, really good at but there’s a lot of things I need help with and at the same time.

Even the things that I’m really, really good at, if I’m going to someone for help or I buy their course or I go to their event, I’m going to have an open mindset that hey listen, if I’m sitting here for an hour, even though they may be talking about something that I’m an expert in, they’re going to teach it differently. They’re going to come at it from a different angle. You know, what can I learn from how they’re presenting the topic that I already know about? Maybe there’s a little golden nugget that I don’t know that they’ve figured out, Right?

There’s always something of value that you can get from someone, even if you’re already an expert on a topic. Frankly, if you’re not an expert at all, then really, you really need to open your ears. I always say God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason, right? You could spend most of your time listening and less of your time talking.

Yeah, and I think when I’ve seen this, this is exactly something I witnessed at a conference a couple of years ago. It was with one of the companies we were with and it was a leadership convention and some of the people who were even speaking on stage, they’re sitting in the front row and this is such a key for success, so these people had a lot of success in their business already and then when people came on stage who were speaking, who maybe hadn’t reached the level of success they had in their business, they were still taking notes because what Miguel was saying is that you have to understand that while you might have success in a certain area, there is something that you can always learn from someone else.

That is so true. Number one really is you have to be coachable. Promise me guys, that you’re going to be coachable because if you’re not it’s going to be a very tough road for you, especially building an online business.

Next thing we want to talk about a little bit is modeling success and I’ll maybe kick us off with this one. In terms of modeling success, right? You can’t do that if you have a massive ego, right? You can do that if you have confidence but you can’t do it with ego, so let me give you an example. We always talk about modeling success and really what this is is if you want success in another area of your life or a new area of your life like an online business, I’ll tell you the fastest way to do it is to model someone else’s success.

Totally.

Right? Modeling, seeing what they did. Finding someone that can coach you, help you, that can tell you, like by you listening to this podcast, if you listen to this podcast’s episodes every single day, a year from now you’re going to have absorbed so much content that we’ve spent years learning and digesting to you that you’re just going to grow so quickly. At the same time, if you start modeling the things that we’re doing, if we give you an invite, for example, to go and join an event or do something with us or work with us one on one, if you start doing those things and you start modeling the things that we’re doing, I think you’ll have a lot more success than if you’re not doing that.

Right. I think that if you are letting your ego get in the way, you’re going to be like meh, you know, I’m not really going to go ahead and do what they’re saying. Maybe I know this part better so I’m going to do it this way and we’ve talked about that before, right? When you’re reinventing the wheel and that is just … You’re letting your ego kind of reinvent the wheel because there’s no point to it, right? When we reinvent the wheel, you’re wasting so much time that you could be using to build your business, right?

Yes, you really have to do that. So what’s the next one that we want to talk about? I’ll let you kick this one off.

Yeah, so I think when you’re looking at being confident or you’re looking at being egotistical, one of the biggest things, and when I talked about those two different people, remember when I asked you like think of a person who you consider arrogant or egotistical and then think of someone that you think of as successful and confident. There is very slight differences, right? One of the biggest things is someone who is confident versus egotistical has a huge likability factor.

If you look at the likability factor, there’s like a scale, right? If you look at someone who has a lot of charm and charisma, they are higher on the likability factor and so if you were to take that person in your mind that is egotistical and list out the qualities that they have, and then you took that person who’s confident and you list out the qualities they have, they would have a lot of the same qualities that you would be comparing, but there would be very, very slight differences. But those slight differences are they’re relatable and they are likable.

There’s a really good book called The Like Switch and if you are struggling with this aspect, I highly encourage you guys to pick up that book just because it’ll allow you to become aware of the things that you’re doing. If you look at your own behaviors and how you post on social media and you’re like I’m not sure, am I coming across the way that I want to come across or is it coming across very egotistical? Take a look at someone that you admire who is confidently posting and take a look at your posts and see can you draw any similarities from that.

That’s great. Another great book that I love is called the Likability Factor, it’s by Tim Sanders, and the reason I like that book is he breaks everything down into kind of four core elements of being likable and he gives really great examples, but just to summarize quickly, like some of the four. The first one he talks about is friendliness, right? Just being friendly. Where is your ability at to be friendly and nice to people and hold doors for people and you know, just be generally a nice person? Maybe ask yourself that one.

Are you generally a nice person?

Right, and if you got a big ego, chances are you’re friendliness scale isn’t very high and people don’t want to be your friend, right? Part of that is just being able to communicate openly, honestly, listen to people, all that kind of stuff. Number two, he talks about relevance, so when you’re speaking with people, are you talking about things that are relevant to them? Right? That can really increase your likability factor, so like if you’re out with people or whatever and they’re trying to chat with you about something and all you care about is talking about your brand new car.

Right.

And you keep switching it back to you or check out my sweet seats, aren’t these seats awesome?

Nobody really cares about your seats.

Right. I used to have a friend that I used to work with, I won’t say his name or whatever, but I used to like music, right? So I’d buy like a new speaker or something and be like oh yeah, did you get that one? Yeah. Yeah, I got one that’s better. It’s got like the next model version.

The one upper.

Yeah, the one upper dude, right? Then I’d be like … Another day would happen and he’d come over and genuinely he wanted to be my friend because he’d come to my office and sit with me in the mornings, but then he’d be like hey, how’s it going? Or whatever and it’s like oh … And I’d be like oh yeah, I bought this … For example, I got a new car. Oh, I got this new car and he’s like oh yeah, well what’d you get? That one. Oh yeah, I had that car like five years ago but it just wasn’t really good because these reasons so now I drive this car, it’s better. Right?

It was just like everything is always … They’re one upping you so being relevant is more like trying to talk to people about the things that they want to hear, right? You don’t have to … And that’s another big sign of ego is if you’re not, if you’re just talking about yourself. Then the third thing he talks about is empathy, right? Being able to acknowledge other people’s feelings, right?

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Like how Erin is feeling in the moment and acknowledging those, and I’m always good for that. Whenever Erin is stressed out …

Oh yeah, we never have …

Never fight.

… any kind of arguments about that.

No, I always know exactly where she’s at, on point, you know?

Oh yeah, because men are so on point with that.

Yeah, but you guys know what I mean, right? Empathy right? Because like you have to understand where people are coming from. The last one that he talks about, and we could probably do a whole podcast now that I’m thinking about this whole book, but is really realness, right? Being real, right? And that’s not boastful, egotistical, that’s being real, like sharing your struggles, sharing … Like we talked about in another podcast episode, sharing your struggles, sharing things you’re going through, sharing how you got through them, and all those things.

I think genuinely if you have a high likability factor, right? You’re definitely going to be more along the sides of confident versus egotistical.

Totally and you know, if you want another … I know we keep throwing books at you today.

We read lots of books.

We do and they really have changed how we relate to other people and how we come across on social media and they’ve really helped our business, so one of the best books, it’s a really old book, and I know if you’ve listened to a lot of personal development or other successful people talk, you’ve heard of this book. If you have not picked it up, pick it up. It’s called How To Win Friends and Influence People and it was written, oh probably I think in 1920s maybe. It’s an old, old book by Dale Carnegie and it is so amazing and it’s not a long read.

It was written in … Or published I guess, in 1936, over fifteen million copies.

Oh perfect. Yeah, and so like I’ve even got a copy for our kids because the concepts in there, while they seem so basic, they are so useful, like making sure you use someone’s name. That person in their brain, right? So if I were to use your name and it would light up certain parts of your brain that would get you to like me faster, right? And if I wanted to make sure that you had a connection to me, I would ask you a lot of questions and I would … People’s favorite subject to talk about is themselves, right? So being able to ask the right questions, using someone’s name, it is just such an important part of learning how to relate to people and build your business through relationships.

I love it. What do we have next?

Now we’re going to go off to the challenge.

The challenge, and I’m going to give you guys the challenge today and before I give you that, I want you to really understand that we don’t want you to after this episode be like sheepish, right?

Right.

And like lose your power.

Right.

That’s not the point of this. Like if anything, you got to up it. You got to up your confidence. You got to be okay with sharing your wins and your successes. You got to be okay with … And I want to say bragging, but like if you have a win, to celebrate that win. On Friday in our group, The Science of Building Your Online Empire, and by the way, if you’re not in that … I don’t know what’s up. Like you got to join us in there, it’s a good time, it’s a great time, and this last Friday we did celebration Friday to celebrate your victories and people posted videos of themselves like happy, celebrating what they did this week and accomplished, and it was awesome. That group is totally free so if you go to TheBossLife.com/start, you can check that out.

But the whole thing is you have to have confidence without the ego part and that will allow you to succeed, so today’s challenge is quite simple. What I want you to do is I want you to find someone that could be a mentor or find someone that you respect or find someone that you feel you could learn from, and it could be someone either like in person that you know or it could be someone through like a text message or that you know online, or it could even be through a book, right? Through a book that you’ve read before maybe but you didn’t take it all in. What I want you to do this time is either read the book or listen to the podcast or reach out to that person but do that with an open mind and actually be ready to be coachable, and think about how you can model that success and think about how you could communicate better with that person so that they might even give you more knowledge.

One of the coolest things that I’ve done in my life I think for me that I’m very happy about when I look back, I mean there’s lot of things I’ve done that have been mistakes but there’s lot of things that I’ve done that I think have worked really well is I’ve found people that were willing to teach me things, right? And those people, like I owe them so much because without them there’s no way we would have gotten to where we’ve gotten and without them you’re not going to get to where you would’ve gotten.

Totally.

Whether that’s a book, like Tony Robbins, or whether that’s a person or whether that’s your parents, doesn’t matter, so that’s the challenge for today.

Yeah, and I’m going to add onto that. I really want you guys to read the book How To Win Friends and Influence People. We don’t make money off this, this is just such … It’s such a short, quick, easy read and I think you can take one of those things from that book and implement it like ASAP. Like it doesn’t … And even if you’re introverted or you’re shy or you’re not so sure, like it’s not going to ask you to go up to someone that you don’t know and like give them a hug, right? It’s going to give you some applicable things that you can use in your business today to build it.

I love it. I love it. With that, I want to remind you to ditch the employee mindset and start living the boss life.

One of the most effective ways to attract your tribe, is to get vulnerable on social media! But there is a right way, and a wrong way to do this! In today’s episode of The Boss Life Podcast, Miguel and Erin Carrasco give the inside scoop!

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Resources From Today’s The Boss Life Podcast

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Three Key Boss Points From Today’s Podcast

• Don’t share your vulnerability until you are through the mess!
• Share what you learned from the experience.
• Never share other people’s dirty laundry because they were involved in your story

How To Get Vulnerable on Social Media Without Sharing Your Dirty Laundry

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how to get vulnerable on social media without sharing your dirty laundry.

Dirty laundry?

Ew.

That’s gross.

And nobody wants to see it.

And I do most of it in this house.

No, no, we’re not going to go that far.

I’m totally kidding. I don’t, but let’s talk about getting vulnerable on social media, and how we can do this effectively. Because this is really one of the most powerful things that you can do to really amplify your message and connect with your true audience. I don’t know if you ever notice, but most of the posts that tend to go viral on social media, or tend to do very, very well are with people get vulnerable. But there is a right way to do it, that’s going to attract the right people to you. And there’s a wrong way to do it, and I think if you listen to this episode, I think you’re going to learn how to master this skill. So let’s get into the first one.

And I think that maybe we should just start with why would you want to get vulnerable on social media? Because I think that that prefaces everything that we’re going to talk about today. And I think that what Miguel kind of touched upon is that if you’re building a business on social media, part of sharing who you are, is sharing things that have changed your life.

Oh, things that have changed your life.

And usually those things are hard things, usually those things are parts of you that you’re kind of scared to share. That’s why Miguel was talking about being vulnerable in social media, and how those stories on social media usually do so well, for people, is because they enable your audience to connect with you, and connect with the pain points in your life, and maybe the pain points in their lives.

Yeah, like so sometimes we’ll do exercises with our clients and we’ll say, “Let’s stop the fluff,” right? Because if you’re Instagram, or your Facebook isn’t blowing up, it’s because you’re not being vulnerable enough. You’re not sharing great stories, right? And so you’re probably just sharing the surface stuff. You’re sharing, here’s what I had for lunch, here’s what I had for dinner, here’s my workout, here’s how I grow my business, here’s my podcast, go check that out, go listen to it.

Yeah, like the highlight reel, right? And I think that when you see someone sharing those kind of stuff, you’re like, yeah, yeah go you, right? And if you’ve ever seen someone share just that stuff, you are probably thinking, “Wow, their life is just so perfect, they don’t struggle like me.” And it just makes that person unrelatable. And we want you to be relatable, when you are building your business on social media.

So let’s talk about one of the big points about sharing an experience. You got to make sure that you’re on the other side of that experience. And what do we mean by that? If you’re currently going through a tough time, we’re not saying not to share that. That’s not what we’re saying, but what we are saying is, that the powerful impactful post, when you get super vulnerable, like when you’re about to share something that really impacted your life, you have to make sure that you’ve already come out with a lesson. Like something you can teach people. And again, I want to be clear, we’re approaching all of this as building a business using social media, right? So I’m not giving you advice on your personal Facebook that you share with your family. By all means, share whatever you want on there.

Well this could apply to that too.

But yeah-

We were just talking about that.

But if you’re trying to build a business, I always say, we always say, and we’re going to do an episode on this, the second you leave your house, like personalize, right? Like if you’re building a business, you’re in business mode. You can’t leave the house wearing pajama pants and whatever, if you’re building a boss life business. That’s just not-

You can’t?

You can’t. That’s not … I mean the second you leave the door, you’re in business mode. And the second your online, same thing, you’re in business mode. If you’re building a business, you have to look into that. So let’s take the first rule here. So if you’re going through a tough situation, Erin, why don’t you set up a tough situation, because that way we can play into the next portion where we tell them a story.

Sure.

We’ll explain how to share that. So what’s a tough situation that they’re dealing with right now?

Well, let’s look at this. So maybe you start on a fitness journey, and you are doing really well, right? So you’re excited about it, and maybe it’s not your business, but maybe it’s just something you’re really excited about. And maybe it is your business, that’s cool. But if you are starting a fitness journey and you start sharing it because you’re excited. You’re sharing your post workout selfies, you’re sharing your food, you’re sharing your personal best with your run. And all the sudden you get, remember when we did that little haters episode a while back? You get someone commenting that maybe you shouldn’t lose any more weight because you’re too thin. Or maybe you shouldn’t build any more muscle because you look like a man if you’re a woman. And that can be really, really hurtful for a lot of people when they are building their business.

What if your neighbor Joe Smith comes out, and literally every day you’re going for a run, he starts yelling at you, and putting you down?

Right, and so what if that was your life, right? And so you’re frustrated, and we totally get that, and you’re like, I’m going to show Joe Smith, or I’m going to show Uncle Sam that he can’t talk to me like that. And so you make this post on social media, you’re like, my neighbor Joe Smith he was coming out at me today, and he was yelling at me as I’m getting ready to lace up for my run saying that he’s really annoyed with the stretching that I’m doing out front in the lawn, and he’s embarrassed for me. And who talks to someone like that? So you’re ranting and raving on social media.

And then you got a picture of him.

Yeah, right.

And showing his house number.

Yeah. I mean obviously we’re giving an extreme example, but I have seen some of your extreme examples on social media, you do it.

You do it.

You do it. And I’m not saying that you’re not going to feel justified.

Well first let’s go back to the first plan, like really, so what Erin just set up there is perfect, right? So right now, first of all, right now, lesson one is, you shouldn’t be sharing anything yet.

Because you’re frustrated.

You’re frustrated, you’re going through it, you still got the 40 pounds to lose. Point on is that’s not a time to share that yet, right? It’s not a time to share the most vulnerable parts of your life when you’re still going through it, because there’s no lesson yet.

You’re just frustrated and you’re venting, right? And I think that that’s where this comes from for a lot of people. You’re frustrated at the situation, and you decide to use Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram as your venting playground. And so when you’re trying to build a business on social media, and you start to infuse your personal frustrations as vents and not as lessons in your business and in your life, you’re going to attract a completely different tribe to your audience. And I think that that is one thing that people don’t actually realize they’re doing. Most people are like, I’m frustrated, I’m going to share that I’m frustrated, and people are going to show me support. And I think a lot of the times why we do these posts on social media is because we’re feeling endangered from these attacks and we want to feel support. And it’s just the wrong place to get support.

Yeah, because ultimately, what that’s going to do is it’s going to attract more negativity, and negativity attracts more negativity. And I’m a full believer, and so is Erin that positivity attracts more positivity, right? You can’t control what other people do, you can only control what you do, right? And so ultimately, like if you shared the story that way, and too early, prematurely, there’s no lesson to tell. But now, let’s take a different scenario here, let’s say that now you’ve gone through it.

And you’ve listened to our podcast episode about how to deal with haters.

Yeah, and now you’re at the other end, and you’ve lost the 40-50 pounds, and you enter a marathon and you end up finishing the marathon. And while this whole thing is going on you’re still getting all the haters, you’re still getting people saying you can’t do it. You’re still getting your neighbor every single day laughing at you, maybe he’s even texting your spouse saying, “Hey, you should tell them to stop running, like he’s going to hurt himself, he looks like a beached whale running down the street.” Just the meanest things ever. I know you guys are laughing, but this happens, right? If you share all that, and now you finish it, and now you’re done, and you’ve read personal development throughout this process, now you’re ready to go. Now you’re ready to go. So should I give them an example of maybe how they should share?

Yeah, I think it’d be helpful for a lot of people. Maybe they’ve gone through situations, they’re not really sure how to share it.

So I’ll be really quick here. But so, as an example, now that you’ve gone through it, and you’ve succeeded, and you’ve got lessons to tell, here’s how you should share it without airing your dirty laundry, right? I would start something really simple, I’d say, “Yes, I can’t believe I did it. Today was the big day, and it was bigger than you may have known. Let me just share with you my quick story.” And then you start sharing right? And you start sharing, you say like, “Six months ago I embarked on this journey.” And you go into detail and tell them about how you were trying to workout, and everyone was against you, and it wasn’t working out. And the people that you thought would support you the most, just weren’t. And at some point even, people really close to me started coming to me and saying, “I should stop, I’m going to hurt myself, I should focus more on my family and my business. My business is going to fail because you’re putting too much time into this running thing, and losing the weight. And you should be more focused on these things.”

“And people keep saying all these things to me, and you know what I did? I chose to ignore it. I chose to realize that this was my thing to make happen, and I pushed through and I persevered, I did personal development, I listened to podcasts, I started reading running books, I started learning why this was so key to me. I started realizing through this process that by working out more, I actually had more time in the day. I had more time to spend with my kids, my family, I just felt so much better. And today was the big day, and for me, as I was doing this run, it was quite interesting, I started thinking of all the things that happened throughout this process and how many times I could have quit.”

“And my ultimate message to you is to say this, is to say if you have a dream, and you got a purpose, and you got a vision, and a mission for something, don’t expect other people to cheer you on. It’s nice if they do, but they don’t need to. It’s your dream, it’s not their dream. And what they think of you, and what they think of other things, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you complete this journey. I want you to understand that if you’re someone out there reading this message that was maybe against what I did, and you know who you are, I want you to know, that I wanted to say thank you. And thank you for encouraging me. And maybe you didn’t realize it, but you were encouraging me, and I hope that you go after your dreams as well,” right?

So that’s, what do you think of that? That’s a really good way I think, to share and getting vulnerable. Maybe you can point out the differences between the two.

Yeah, and I think that’s really important that one thing that Miguel did at the very end, and I hope you go back and you pause this, or you rewind it, and you re listen to the way he setup his story, right? And we’re going to do a whole podcast about story telling, because it’s a really, really amazing way to help your business explode, right? Instead of just selling, you’re going to be sharing stories. And if you look at one of the most important things that he finished with, in his story, was gratitude at the end. Gratitude for the people who were calling him out, right? Because that is going to do more good in your life than kind of exposing the hater, and saying, “You block this from me,” and “You took this from me,” and “You’re hurtful words, they didn’t do anything to me.” And I think that is one of the biggest things that we can do when we’re trying to work through some of the hard changes in our life. And being vulnerable about it, is having gratitude at the end.

And one of the biggest things that I can say about all of this is that, if you notice when Miguel said that he went through it all, right? And he was on the other side, he had a learning experience, he had something to share about the negative experience, and what he did because he was on the other side, he had something valuable to give people, right? And we’re giving people valuable lessons. And when we do that, it’s because we’re sharing from a place from a scar, and not a wound. Now if he had-

That’s really good. I like that, share from a place of scars not wounds.

If he had done this post while he was going through it, he would have been in a place of a wound where it’s still really fresh, and it’s fairly painful. And when you do that, you’re opening yourself up to have any kind of negative feedback from people. You’re having that basically put right into your body. At least with a scar, the wound is closed, and all that negative stuff can bounce right off. But as a wound, if it’s open, and you get that negative feedback, and someone gives that to you, it kind of has an easier way to get into your psyche, right? And into your head, and into your heart. And so it’s really important for us to learn to share from that place of scars and not wounds.

I love that. That’s so huge. Let me summarize really quickly what we’ve talked about today. And then we will go into the challenge. I think the biggest thing I can tell you is, and maybe we didn’t say it strongly enough in the beginning is, it is so important for you if you’re building a business to get vulnerable with your story. Because I really believe that many businesses, especially entrepreneurs that are excited about building their own business, it’s because they have a story inside of them to share. They have a calling, somehow all of you have a calling, something you want to create with this world, and chances are that happened because something bad happened to you.

Right.

You went through an experience, that hurt you, that maybe made you feel like you were knocked down and you couldn’t get back up, but you got back up, right? And that is the story you share. The more vulnerable that you can get, without hurting other people, the more your business will explode exponentially.

Yeah, and I think that one key thing that you just said there is that you didn’t make that learning experience necessarily about that other person hating on you. You made it about yourself.

Yeah, and that will really, when you look at, I mean, let’s be honest. We’ve all seen those posts that are really negative, right? About maybe horrible things that happened, but they’re just so negative.

Right.

That you’re like, I-

You just got to back away, right?

Yeah, you back off.

It’s like … and I know a lot of you are making those posts because you want the support, or you’re craving that attention because you’re feeling really low in your life.

But who do they want support from?

They’re wanting the support from people who are going to support on the negative stuff, right? And I think one of the things that you have to be really aware of and be honest with yourself with, is that, if you’re sharing that stuff on social media because you’re having a hard time, I highly encourage you to go get a therapist.

Yeah, and really, like being negative will just attract more negativity. You’re going to get the negative people that really aren’t going to want to lift you higher, they’re going to want to pull you down lower, right? That’s just how it works. And so you want the positive stuff, that’s what you want. You want the positive surroundings. And so once you have all that, sharing that story effectively is key. And then ultimately, I love what Erin said, sharing from a place of scars and not wounds. I think that that’s so key. Because if you’re sharing from wounds, like Erin said, you’re just going to lash out, right? It’s still fresh, and lashing out never helps, right? It always makes things worse.

Yeah, you’re still angry, right?

Right, when has lashing out ever helped your situation?

Right.

I don’t think ever.

No, and I think that’s one of the things that you have to be aware of your own situation, right? I think that even if you have done this in the past, we want to be really clear, if you’ve done this in the past, like accept it, learn from it. Remember if you’ve listened to our podcast about learning from our failures. You just have to relabel it as a learning experience, and how can I move forward and get better?

I mean even I’ve lashed out, and it’s never worked out so well.

Really, you have?

I never do, I’m always perfect.

You’re perfect?

Yeah. I never lash out at anybody.

Never, no.

Everything’s great, sunshine and rainbows.

Totally.

But yeah, so let’s move onto the challenge. Why don’t you give them the challenge, Erin?

All right. So I think most of you have had a learning experience that’s changed you as a person. And some of them have been pretty traumatic, and so obviously if you need help working through that, definitely reach out to the right people who are experts at doing that. And the people who are experts at doing that, they’re not your buddies on Facebook, right? So, make sure that you’re reaching out to the right people. But what I want you to do, is that when you spend the time working on yourself and working through that change, and that hard time. So you realize what the lesson was for you, what I want you to do is, to spend the time developing it into your story. Because that’s going to be part of your story. A lot of you are like, yeah I don’t want to share that on social media, nobody wants to know that I drink too much, or I drank too much, or I ate too much, or I did this in my life. Nobody wants to know that, except everybody does. Everybody wants to know where you struggle, because that’s where they’re going to relate to you.

So what I want you to do is, spend the time to develop that part of your story, and weave it into your social media presence. Notice I didn’t say, “Just like open up the wound and dump on people in social media.” I want you to weave it into part of your story, right? Because once we start weaving in those important vulnerable parts of ourselves, into our social media presence, we’re going to find those people out there, who are so connected with us.

That’s huge. I think that’s great. So hopefully we’ve put a nice little bow on that, and you got a great challenge to go move forward and crush it. So with that we wanted to just remind you, because I will say one more thing, right? The employee mindset thing again, like this is really the employee mindset is to share the dirty laundry, right? That really is. The water cooler gossip, that’s the dirty laundry.

Totally, yep.

That’s the employee mindset. Bosses get vulnerable, and lift others higher.

Totally.

There’s an interesting quote that says that, “There are two ways to have the tallest building in the city, the first way is to build the tallest building. The second way is to burn down everyone else’s building, and now you have the tallest building, but you got nobody to live with.”

So which way is better?

I know I should do personal development, but what should I do? The Boss Life Podcast tells you exactly how to know what personal development is right for you, and what is not worth your time or money.

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Resources From Today’s The Boss Life Podcast

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Three Key Boss Points From Today’s Podcast

• Stop listening to the wrong people for advice.
• Start doing personal development yesterday!
• Stop trying to re-invent the wheel and instead model the successful.
• Stop waiting for other people to believe in you.
• Stop spending the money you’re earning, instead of investing it back in your business.

What Personal Development Is Worth Your Hard Earned Money

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how you decide what personal development is worth your hard-earned money.

Wow. You’re singing?

Karaoke time. You put a microphone in front of me, I will sing you a song. No, don’t worry. Keep listening. Please don’t hang, don’t hang up. Don’t hang up.

They’re not listening. Don’t worry. You’re not listening to the radio. We are going to talk about something valuable today.

So today we want to cover the topic of where you should invest your money in terms of personal development. We’ve talked about person development in the past. But want to be very clear so that you have a strategy in terms of what to invest in. Where does… and when we say invest, we don’t necessarily just mean money as well. We also mean your time, right? Because sometimes time is money, right? So what should you invest your time, your energy, your money into with personal development?

Let me start us off today, and let me frame this in a certain way. There’s different types of personal development that you can do, right? There’s one on one coaching with people mentorship. There’s podcasts like this one that you can listen to. There’s buying books and purchasing books. You could purchase courses and learn through courses that you purchase. You could do full immersion, which would be conferences. When you go to a conference, you’re fully immersed for four or five days and you really rapidly grow as a person. And personally, it’s really, there’s all these things. There’s even high end masterminds if you want to be around, incredible people. We’re a part of a few masterminds. There are so many things that you could engage in. One of the first things that you should ask yourself is how do you best learn?

How do you best learn as a person? Because I’ve learned over the years working with thousands of clients that at the end of the day, you could have the best conference in the world, but if someone is just a strict introvert, they do not want to be in a conference and they’re going to walk in there, they’re going to know. It is much better for them to even possibly get notes from people or buy the online version of the conference and watch it from home, take notes, and they will learn so much more than even flying to the conference. Now, there’s some people on the other hand, who just love being extroverted, or maybe they’re introverted, but they’re okay with sitting in a conference room and just really immersing themselves and taking massive action.

There’re some people that love listening to audible and audio books and things like this and but they don’t love to read. And so I would never suggest to anyone to do something that isn’t going to be enjoyable, right? So you kind of need to ask yourself, how do you best learn? Do you enjoy sitting by a fire, having a glass of wine, reading a book and learning? Or would you rather drive in the car and listen to a podcast and then get back to their desk and take some notes? It really kinda depends on people.

I think that one of the things that we haven’t necessarily talked about with personal development is the time factor. I think a lot of times people leave this to the last thing that they have to do. They don’t necessarily prioritize working on themselves, to better themselves to their business. And so if you are one of those people who, this is your side hustle, right? So you’re trying to manage your time. You’re like, how am I going to fit in this time? Maybe you don’t have the time to go for a four day conference and maybe you only have the time between your drive, right?

So many of you guys are probably listening to us in your car and like that’s the time that you have to better yourself. So you also have to look at your timeframe that you have to do the learning. So if you have time and you want to get a podcast in, get an audio book in, when you’re driving, that’s the way that I started to make time for my personal development because honestly, at the end of the day with a full time job and three kids, putting a book in front of my face was a sure way to fall asleep.

Yeah, that’s great. So let’s move on the next point.

If you look at yourself, and you look at the way you learn and you look at maybe what you liked, what you didn’t like, maybe someone said, “Hey, you should read this book. This book is really awesome.” And they give you this book and you’re like, “It’s sucks.” Right? Or maybe, you bought an audio book and you’re like, “Oh, I just, I can’t get into it.” Or maybe you did a course and you’re like, that’s not really where I’m at right now. You have to look at what you’ve liked in the past and what you didn’t like. And sometimes those things change.

I used to love reading books, physical books and I would read a lot of books. But what has happened as my life has become busier, I had to find different ways in order for me to get in the work that I needed to get in. And so for me, what I like now is not what I liked then. And so just so you know, that can change for you. So if that’s the case, maybe you tried to listen to a podcast years ago and now you’re listening to it and it’s really working for you. That’s part of the plan.

I love it. So hopefully, I’m going to be a little selfish here. Hopefully you love podcasts and you love our the best, right? So hopefully you’re learning a lot of stuff. Let’s go on to the next one, which is really, what’s… some people don’t know, like there’s so much information, right? It used to be that 2030 years ago you have to go to a library. I remember wanting to learn, I was really addicted to chess back in the day. I loved it. And I’m showing you guys look Geeky I was. And I go to the library and was trying to take out a specific book, right? Like maybe I wanted Garry Kasparov Teaches Chess. Well, it wasn’t in the library then I couldn’t get it, right? It was, and I had to wait until someone returned it and sometimes you don’t, wouldn’t it?

My point is it used to be really hard to get information. It used to be really hard to get information. Now we live in an era where information is everywhere. It’s almost like information overload. You know, you can learn from so many people. You could learn anything this moment right now. The second so how do you know what you should be spending your time on? How do you know which podcast to listen to? How do you know which books to take out? How do you know what conference to attend to. This point is very important. What you need to do is to focus on what’s the next thing that your business needs in order to grow.

So maybe you write this down. If you’re not driving, what’s the next thing that your business needs in order to grow? That’s what you should be focusing on because listen if there’s a hundred steps in growing a business to the point where you want it to get to, if you’re starting point 0 you don’t need to be investing time in point 32. You don’t need to be investing time in point 3. You need to be investing time in point 1 followed by point 2 followed point 3.

It’s really all about baby steps, right? If you took a baby that doesn’t know how to walk yet and you said, “All right, we’re going to learn how to do a jumping Jack pushups, or we’re going to how to do sprints.” It would never happen, right? It would never happen. It’s all about like to use the analogy baby steps, right? You really have to learn to walk before you can run. You got to learn to run before you can start running. You know, 10K you gotta learn to do a 10K before you can do a 15. You got to learn to do a half before you can do a full marathon. That’s just the way life is and it’s the same in your business. I’m telling you right now, there are a lot of people that fail to start their business or fail their business because they’re trying to learn things, but they have no business learning.

You really got to figure out, so right now I’ll say as an example, you’re getting started. You know, maybe you don’t have an Instagram account set up. Maybe you don’t even have a website set up. All that stuff. Your, you know, your step one is to figure out, you know, how to do Instagram properly. You don’t need to figure out how to create like XYZ thing down the road in four years. You don’t need to figure out how to run a conference yet, right? There’s no point in you investing time on how to learn. How to run an incredible conference. You know, we’re running a conference in July for about 1500 people at a beautiful hotel. But if we had started there seven years ago, this business would not have gotten off the ground.

So really what I want you to understand is right now is think about what’s the next thing you need to learn your business. And a lot of you, that’s why you’re listening to this podcast is because you don’t know what all those steps are. So this podcast is unlocking all those secrets to you, but you really need to invest your time. And what’s the next thing that your business needs in order to grow?

And I think that you have to look at, what are the different types of things that you need to learn and grow with. Some of these different avenues that you can go in and learn from like audio books or podcasts. You’re like, I don’t know what I should read next, or I don’t know what I should learn next, right? And as long as it’s in line with that next step, that one foot in front of the other, asking somebody that is where you want to go, you know a recommendation of a book that maybe has changed their life or you know, even an audible, like, I love getting recommendations from audible because it looks at what I’ve read in the past and it’s like, “Oh hey, these are pretty similar things for you.” Those are always good ways to get your next piece of personal development.

This is audible. Well, that’s pretty good.

That was pretty good. Your impressions are on point today.

On point. All right.

All right. So let’s look at the next one. I think this is a really important one, especially if you’re just starting out in your business. There’re are probably a lot of you who are listening to this, who you’re pretty well established, and your options are going to be different once you’ve kind of built your business up to a certain level. But you have to look at the budget that you have. How much are you currently making in your business and, how does that affect what you spend it on? I think the more that we’ve earned in our business, it’s enabled us to spend more, I think we spend the most of our entire budget of what we earn is on personal development.

Yeah, absolutely. I think… like for us, personally, we spend about 30 to 40% of what we make basically back into personal development. Like this year alone, we’ll probably spend well over $100,000. I would say, just in, just in conferences that we’re attending, let alone everything else that we’re doing. We’re in masterminds that we’re spending some money. And we just yesterday we were doing another mastermind with some high end people, Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi, and we’re in a mastermind with a whole bunch people, Russell Brunson. Like people you might not even know, right? And the whole point of that is that we’re trying to learn from the best. But again, if we had just gotten started and we had made no money in business and we went and dropped $50,000 in a mastermind-

That would be a bad plan.

It would be a very bad plan. And it’d be all over. And you could say, well, you’re going to learn from the best. Yeah, but if you’re learning from the best, then you have literally no money to put back into the business, then you’re going to have struggle, right? So I would say you don’t want to start there. You want to start based on what your budget is based on where you’re at.

A lot of you are starting free with podcasts, right? And I think that, that’s brilliant of you. And you’ll have to look at that as, even though it’s free for you right now, you are getting… if you think of the amount that we spend on our personal development, you’re learning from us and what we’re learning from other people. And if the only thing that you can afford this year is a $20 book, then that’s what you can afford. But don’t just read a billion books and be like, “Yay, I read like a hundred bucks this year.” Because one of the worst things I see our clients do is they’re like, “Oh, I’m going… you know what? There’s that challenge. I’m going to read 52 books this year.” And so you read 52 books, you realize there are a lot about the same thing and then you implement nothing. One of my favorite analogy is, is this. If you go to a gym and you read the manual for the treadmill, are you going to lose any weight? No. You have to get your butt on the treadmill, right?

That’s so good. I was just at the gym. There’s was a lady reading the manual. No, I’m kidding. Well she kind of was, she was looking and pushing all the buttons. She stood there pushing all the buttons for literally five minutes.

Yeah.

And then she got off about 20 seconds later.

But that’s the whole thing with personal development that it doesn’t matter how much money you spend, it doesn’t matter how many books you read, how many conferences you go to. If you do nothing with the information in your head, your knowledge is not power unless you take action.

Totally. So the last thing I really want to talk to you about is the difference between business development and personal development. Because these are two completely really different things.

They overlap a little bit, but they are different things that you can work on.

They’re very different. So why don’t you go ahead and kick us off and I’ll jump in and interrupt as usual. I’m kidding.

If I look at business development, when I was first getting started in my business, I was like, “Oh, personal development.” I have to read a book that tells me how to be better, or get over my crap or anything else like that. I thought that that was the only personal development I need to do. However, I might need to learn how to host a successful Webinar, or I might need to learn how to record a podcast, or I might need to learn how to upload certain files to a Google Drive. There are so many different things that you need to run your business that just because it’s not personal development where you’re working on the insides of you, it doesn’t mean that it’s not business development. It’s not important. And it doesn’t mean that you should just do either, right? You have to do both.

Yeah. You absolutely have to do both. Like for me, as an example, there’s those different things that I’m working on personally. So there’s personal stuff, personal reflection stuff that I’m working on that changes all the time. Then there’s also business development, right? There’s business development, which is like, as an example, when we were creating this podcast, I already knew, and this is another one about being open to coaching. I already knew a lot technically, I’m a very technical person. I knew the microphones, I knew the setups, I need the softwares. I knew all the stuff I could probably had figured it out. But I also knew that there were people that were better at me at execution, right?

And I wanted that execution game plan, right? And so what I did is I actually, like I’ve mentioned before, we bought a course and that course… and by the way, you don’t have to spend a lot of money. That course wasn’t that much. And we executed the game plan back to what Erin had said before. I could have bought the course, I could have let it sit there and not done anything. A, I could have bought the course, watched every video and nothing anything. B, or what I did is I bought the course and when they said do this, I paused the video, I went and did it and I went onto the next one. I mean, and to me like that is just common sense.

But it’s not.

I don’t understand [crosstalk]

Well, common sense is in common, right? And I think that, that’s where we get mixed up. Is that we think that just ’cause we do this or we buy this, that all of a sudden it’s magically going to happen.

Right? And so that’s why you have to do this. So, business development is critically important to your business, but at the same time… the point where I wanted to make there, is that the personal development is what made me complete that course, right? So I bought the business development course. So that’s development, but doing the personal development, the things I’ve done for years with Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, all these things that got me to a point to just naturally know to execute on what I was learning like that didn’t just happen overnight. That was like 10, 15 years of failing. That was a lot of years of buying stuff and not doing anything.

And so, I finally learned the lesson. And so those things work together. You can’t just listen to this podcast and go and execute stuff if deep down inside you have issues with confidence, right? If you’re really struggling with confidence in your life, all the business development you’re doing on the planet is not going to save you because you’re not going to have the confidence in yourself to implement anything that you’re learning.

Yeah. And I think that if you look at the two different kinds of development that you need to do to build a successful business, there’s some that you’re going to be so uncomfortable with that you’re like, no, I don’t want to do it. And that’s the one that either you need to pay someone to do it for you so you have to make a lot of money in order for that to happen or that’s the one that you are supposed to be doing right now. The stuff that you’re uncomfortable with. You know, my introvert is out there, oh, you know, I wish I could put my arms not around you ’cause I know you wouldn’t like that. But you know, I really want you guys to understand that if you’re looking at extroverts or people you think are extroverted, and you’re like, “Oh, I can’t ever be like them.”

You have to start working on that because you have a certain gift that is so, so, so important for the world that if you don’t work on those things that you are allowing to hold you back, then no one’s going to benefit from that light that’s shining inside you, but you’re not letting out.

That’s huge. That’s huge. Hopefully these five lessons, have given you a lot to think about. We’re going to move onto the challenge. Let me just summarize a couple of, some of the points that we’ve talked about. So number one, we were trying to figure out what person development to do a or business development to do. And number one, ask yourself, how do you best learn? Just think about it. Just write down like how do you best learn and then start there. You don’t have to read a book. If you hate reading, don’t make yourself read a book. Listen to a podcast. If you don’t learn either way. Find a conference, attend the conference. Figure out which way you learn. Number two is what you done in the past. What you done in the past that that you enjoyed, that you liked. How how did you best learn in school? What was that one class? That one teacher that really got you fired up and just… you were all in and you’ve learned so much better.

Number three, what’s the next thing that you need to learn in your business? That you need guidance on right now, this moment, this second. Maybe it is confidence. Maybe you’ve learned so much for the last five, 10 years you’ve implemented nothing but it’s time for someone to teach you exactly how to get confident and take massive action. If that’s what you need, then that’s the next step, right? That’s the next step. Not figuring out how to write a blog post, not figuring out how to do Instagram.

Your next step number four is what type of budget do you have right now? Don’t go blow the budget on something that you don’t have the money to get into yet. I’ll tell you a little secret, a lot of what we’re developing for the Boss Life is to get you from point A to point B to point C to Point D gradually. And so that one day, you will be able to spend incredible amounts of money maybe on masterminds because you know what? It’s going to take you to that next level, but you can’t start there, right? You got to start small and you’ve got to build up from there. So figure out what your budget is. Of course, if your budget is high, then maybe you do start there. But if your budget’s low, then don’t worry about it, then you, it’s more about what you need, not how much you spend.

Number five is know the difference between business development and personal development. I honestly truly believe that personal development in a lot of ways is way more important than business development. That you can learn anything. But if you don’t have the personal growth on relationships, on yourself, if you don’t have the confidence to execute on all the stuff you’re learning, you’re just going to struggle your entire life. But there’s not a secret out there that you can’t learn right now. But there is one secret and that really is personal development. So with that Erin, why don’t we end with a really awesome challenge for them.

I think that one of the best challenges for this particular podcast is maybe you haven’t tried an audio book before. Maybe you haven’t tried a course before. Maybe that’s something that you’re… I want you to look into a different kind of method of personal development and you more than that. I want you to look at the different development you’re doing right now and is it the right one for you? Is it the right one that’s going to get you to that next step in your business? And if it’s not, I want you to put it down and pick something else up because that is not going to serve you to read a book that someone said, “Hey, you need to read this book.” And it’s not speaking to you. I want you to make sure that you know that you’re the owner of your life. You’re the boss. So you get to decide what you’re going to do with your personal development. One other challenge I’m going to leave you with today is kind of like part two of the challenge.

Part two? Before you say that there is this is really cool book I read. You need to read it. I’m kidding. On that too, ’cause we’ve talked about relationships they’re like one thing I’ve learned ’cause I used to do that. I used to be like, “Hey, you should go check this out. This is awesome.”

I’d be like, no.

Like this sucks.

No, I just, yeah-

So my trick now is I’ll play a video and I’ll be like, “Hey, look what I’m watching. What do you do? What do you think?

And then I’ll kind of walk away ’cause it’s not nice.

It depends.

It depends. In a way it depends on what you need at the moment and the moment changes, right? So what you needed five years ago, and maybe you picked up a book in five years ago, you weren’t ready for it, right? And maybe you’re ready for it now. So that’s always going to change. But one thing I want to do for part two, so part two, I want you guys to take a piece of action. So look at what you’re doing right now. I’m pretty sure in that little book-

I got a little excited there. I think it might take a little piece of energy.

A little piece of action that… I want you guys to look at the personal development that you’re doing right now. I guarantee that there’s an action step in there today. I guarantee there’s either a worksheet with it or an actionable item because most people don’t put out stuff without challenges. Or if they do, then that sucks.

That’s awesome. That’s great. So hopefully you got a lot out of this episode of the Boss Life podcast. With that we’d like to end all of our episodes reminding you something that’s critically important. I really think, and we say it, let me explain a little bit today. When we say

[inaudible]

employee mindset and start living the Boss Life and we’re going to do an episode fully on this, right, Erin?

Yup.

It’s going to be really exciting, is really, we want you to think differently. We want you to step outside the box. We really think that too many people right now are living in that employee mindset.

I think that a lot of the times it’s because they’ve been conditioned into it doesn’t mean that you’re bad, it’s just being the way that you’ve been brought up.

Yeah. And the cool thing is that you all have a gift to those people that are living in this employee mindset. But you have this gift inside of you. You’ve got something to share with the world, and it’s really time to let that out. And you can’t let that out without really having… starting to live the boss life. So with that, we want to remind you to ditch the employee mindset.

And start living the boss life.

We’ll see you in the next episode.

Bye guys.

Are you ready to start living the boss life? But you don’t know where to start.

Or maybe you already have a business, but you’re not getting the results you want.

Head over to the bosslife.com/start to join our group, The Science of Building Your Online Empire.

Where we walk you through the daily process of rocking your online business.

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And bosses that are already crushing it in their business.

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We hope you have an incredible day.

There is no such thing as failure! Or at least there isn’t once you listen to this podcast! In today’s episode of The Boss Life Podcast Miguel and Erin Carrasco give you key strategies to help you overcome your fears of “failure”!

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Resources From Today’s The Boss Life Podcast

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Three Key Boss Points From Today’s Podcast

• Stop listening to the wrong people for advice.
• Start doing personal development yesterday!
• Stop trying to re-invent the wheel and instead model the successful.
• Stop waiting for other people to believe in you.
• Stop spending the money you’re earning, instead of investing it back in your business.

What To Do When You Fail Spectacularly In Your Business – Transcript

In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about what to do when you fail spectacularly in your business.

Congratulations, you failed. What? I know. You never thought that you’d be congratulated on failing.

Well, failing is important. If you are part of our Science Of Building An Online Empire group, we’ve already shared how we have failed already in our business.

I think it was day two, and we made a massive failure. You know what’s funny about failure? The reason I said congratulations if you failed, it means you tried something.

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

You probably tried something that you were afraid to try. It didn’t go according to plan. In today’s episode, we really want to dive into those things. As we were brainstorming this for last couple of days, one of the thoughts that came to mind. Actually, Erin bring this up, because we were bringing it up in different points, because I hope you understand a lot of what we do in this podcast, there’s so much information on everything out there. What we really try to do is pull together just a golden nuggets for you, so you can really improve every single day. Erin, what’s the first thing they should do if they have spectacularly failed in their business?

I think one of the biggest things that we’ve learned over the years is that you need to relabel your failure. What we mean by that is that we actually don’t believe that there is true and utter failure unless you don’t learn anything from it.

One of the things I tell my kids, and they know this by heart, is there’s only two things in life. There’s only winning, and there’s learning. There’s no such thing as winning and failing because I want to tell you something right now. Most people don’t even start on their dreams or their business, or any specific life change, because they’re frankly just too afraid to fail. There are people literally that have a great idea in business, or they have a great idea to try something new, or they have a great life change they want to make, but they won’t even attempt it because they’re too afraid to fail.

That’s so true. When we’re talking about relabeling your failure, if you look at your life right now, and you think of something that maybe you have failed at in your life, if you have labeled it in your brain as a failure, we’re going to talk a little bit more about staying in that down space or in that space, in that shame spiral. We want you to enable yourself to relabel it as learning.

I mean if you look at even championship teams, and sports, and even in business I think you’ll find that a lot of times, really I even tell my kids, when you lose there’s way more lessons than when you win, typically.

Absolutely.

Lessons are everywhere. Winning, you got lessons. Losing you got lessons. But the end of the day, when you don’t get the outcome you want, and let’s say you lose in a football or soccer match 10:2, there’s a lot more lessons to be had from that. I think that’s really brings us to the next point. Once you’ve realized that you’re okay, you actually didn’t really, really fail. You learn something. You learn one more way that doesn’t work or a combination of things that combined don’t work. Once you figured that out, we go on to the next step. What’s that next step?

I think when you look at the path to your learning experience, let’s just go for it and call it a learning experience. If you look at the path to your learning experience, you have to learn from it, right? You have to look at the things, the steps that you took that enabled you to get that result.

I love it. One of the exercises that I’ll do with some of our clients is we’ll look at … Once they’ve come up out from their depression, sometimes. Sometimes they get a little depressed because it’s like, “Oh, no. I’m so crushed right now.” I get it. We talked about it. It’s totally fine to do that. Once we get out of that, we recognize, “Okay, this is actually a learning opportunity.” The next step really is to just write this stuff out. We’ll literally take out a sheet of paper. We’ll say, “Okay, what are the things that we did in this specific case?” I’ll always say we. Sometime myself in with their “failure”.

Yeah, absolutely.

It makes them feel better. I’m like, “What did we do wrong here? Let’s move it forward.” We start writing out all the things that led up to that learning experience. What led up to that learning experience. As you write those things down, a big thing I want you to understand here is that this is an important step. You can’t skip this step. Some people will say, “Okay, you failed. Okay, get up. Let’s go again round two.” That’s not going to work. The key step here is you got to learn from the mistakes you’ve made.

Yeah, you have to take the ownership of it.

Yeah, because I think a lot of people will say, “Well, it wasn’t the right timing to launch my product,” or, “If it was better looking, I could have sold more stuff online.”

Is that true for you, Miguel?

Absolutely. You could make a million excuses. Or you could say your business partner didn’t work out or whatever. At the end of the day, none of that’s going to help you move forward.

Totally.

Right? It’s obviously won’t help you whatsoever. What will help you is writing out and being real and saying, “Okay, here are the mistakes that were made,” that led to this learning experience so that you can learn from them. Some of them you might just flat out say, “Well, I’m not going to do these three things again.” In some cases, it might even be, “Okay, well, those three things I did there, they were actually pretty close. I just didn’t implement them hard enough.” Then you might have to tweak some things. Again, you can’t do any of that if you haven’t written it down first. You haven’t really come from that place of being accepting to learn.

Right. One of the things we do with our clients is I get them. If you want to do this, you can. If you’re driving, probably not a good idea. Make sure you do it when you get to your destination. I get people to put their hands up. I’m like, “I need you to accept where you are in this. I’ll get people to put their hands up and I’ll say, “I am in the position that I am in my business because I choose to be.” It’s that acceptance and the acknowledgement of their part in their successes, or in their failures, or in their learnings, that enables them to learn from those little things that they need to change.

One of the things that I really, really want to make sure you guys understand is that sometimes, it’s not a big a shift in order to get the success. Sometimes it’s just tweaking, tweaking the little tiny parts of your business, or the little things that might not have worked timing, or placement, or text colors. Sometimes it’s really small.

Yeah, I mean, we’ll meet a lot of people as well that, in some cases, they’ll just start from scratch. That can also be a mistake, because you may not have failed because you messed up everything. You might have just messed up a couple things. It’s not time to throw the nuclear missile. I’m just saying, “Well, let’s just start over again.” That’s tough. One of the most painful things that I go through in business coaching is seeing people having to start over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, and over. Then those are the ones that are like, “Well, this XYZ industry, or this XYZ thing doesn’t work. I’ve tried so many of them.” That’s something like-

This is the thing.

“Well, there you go.”

Sometimes it’s those little things were like, “Oh, I’ve tried everything,” but you haven’t, right? If you had tried everything, you would be successful in this.

You’d be successful.

Let’s move on to our next point. This is a really important point, for those of you who maybe are feeling a little bit down in certain things that they’ve done their business.

I love this one. I think that probably a year and probably the best to talk about this one. This one is really giving yourself some grace. Why don’t you talk about that?

It is a really hard thing for us because I think we are our own worst critics, right? You’ve heard that before. But allowing yourself to have some sadness about some of the failures and learning experiences that you’ve had, and really look at it. If you are relabeling it, and you are saying, “Okay, it’s been a learning experience.” You, giving yourself some grace with what you’ve just learned, is probably one of your biggest assets to moving on. We’re going to talk a little bit more about this in the next point. For you to Know that it’s okay to have this learning experience after 10 months of putting in the work. It’s okay to have this learning experience after starting your first day of your new business. There is no right or wrong way to build your business. Everyone starts at a different point. Even though when you build your business, most of you, you’re starting at the same ground level, but we all come into our businesses with different background.

Yeah, I mean, take a look at any author, any successful person I think on the plane. A lot of what you’re probably missing is all of their failures, right? For every successful book, there’s probably 100 books that didn’t work out. There’s 20 books that didn’t work out. There’s so many things that you don’t know about. I think that the best thing and we could have almost made this the first point, was just stop. I don’t know how to say this. Stop feeling sorry for yourself for failing, and thinking you’re the only one on the planet that’s ever failed, right?

Someone has gone through exactly like so. If you’re sitting in a shame spiral right now, someone else on this planet has done what you’ve done and failed like you failed and they’re still here.

The shame spiral, what’s that?

It’s a cycle. I think a lot of the times we get into this negative space, where we do a lot of self loathing. We are not giving ourselves some grace. We think that we’re the only one who’s ever experienced this. Our inner critic is coming out to play. Maybe the imposter syndrome is coming out to play. We can do a lot more episodes on those things because I think it’s a really important thing when you’re building your business to learn what those are and get them in check. Let’s move on to the next point.

The next point is basically don’t allow yourself so wallow too long.

This one-

What’s wallowing? Show me a wallow like.

It’s not wallowing, wallow.

Oh, I thought it was wallowing.

No, no. Wallow. When you’re wallowing your sadness, you’re like Eeyore. You’re like, “Oh, today sucks.”

Eeyore.

“I just suck at everything.”

That’s true. I do a good impression, should I do?

You did Tiger.

I did Tiger and you’re Eeyore. I’m on stage. I’m like, “Hey guys, what’s up? Miguel here. I’m Tiger. I’m bouncing around the stage. What’s going on? What’s happening?” A lot of times, I’ll talk like that on stage. One, because I actually love the stage and I get really excited. Imagine if you met someone like that, right? You’re automatically attracted to their power, their vibe. They’re just like, they light of the room. Then someone else walks in, they’re like, “Hello. Today’s a gloomy day.” “Oh, no, it’s actually nice so.” “I know, but yesterday was nicer.” “Oh, but it’s not even raining.” “But it’s going to rain later.” Who wants a beer on that?

It’s like Debbie Downer. Anything, that’s an SNL skit.

That was pretty good.

One of the examples that I give a lot of our clients is that you can choose for your learning experience to be either a chasm or canyon. A chasm is a very sharp dip. It goes up and down really, really deep. Then it comes back up. Usually, they’re found in the ocean. You can choose for your learning experience to be a chasm, which is you have the learning experience. You feel down. You realize you need to give yourself some grace. You relabel your failure into a learning experience. Then you learn from all those steps that got you to where you were, and then you bounce back up.

I love that. I’ve been to the Grand Canyon. That thing is massive. I want all my failure to be a Grand Canyon. I’ll tell that much, right?

The canyons are really long and drawn out, and deep place. That if you do not give yourself some grace, if you do not label your failure, if you do not recognize the steps that you took in order to get you where you are, you’re going to stay in this canyon.

I love the rocky quote right in that movie. The new rocky movie that came out. Well, it’s not new anymore, I guess but 10 years old, but I’m dating myself here but that’s cool.

Yeah, you are.

I look young that’s why I grew facial hair. I stopped getting ID. That’s working, working, turning 40, midlife crisis coming up. Oh, that car shave. I’m sorry. I’m like a squirrel. You know that yet?

Let’s focus. Focus. The quote, my dear. The quote

Rocky’s talking to his son. Basically he tells him, it doesn’t matter how hard you get hit, right? What matters in life is … It doesn’t matter how hard you get hit. The secret is, how much can you take? How much can you take, and keep moving forward? He says that’s how winning is done, right? It’s not about all those Rocky movies, if you look at it, he gets knocked down so many times, but he gets back up. He gets back up. I’ll tell you a secret in success I believe is, the faster you learn to get up and go through these steps that we’re talking about. It’s not just about getting up and getting knocked back down again. That would be really painful. It’s about getting back up, taking ownership of your mistakes, realizing their stuff to learn, writing the things down, giving yourself some grace. It’s okay. Then saying, “You know what? I’ve learned more. I am a better version than I was before this failure. Bring it.” I feel like going for a run now.

It’s really funny because I thought you were going to use a different Rocky quote.

Oh, sorry, Rocky. It looks like [crosstalk 00:14:17].

I’m probably going to not say it properly. If you are a Rocky fan, please don’t send me hate mail. I always thought you were going to talk about the one where he’s staring. He puts him in front of the mirror and he’s like, “That’s your toughest opponent.”

Oh, the mirror one. Go for it.

Because this is so true is that you are going to be the hardest on yourself. You are your toughest opponent. Your brain is going to say all of those things, those limiting beliefs that you tell yourself or maybe you’ve you thought you’ve got over and then all of a sudden you have a failure. All of a sudden, these things come flooding back. Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not meant to do this. Maybe, this is meant for other people. All of these things that we tell ourselves that will stop us from taking action in getting us over this depth that we feel, right, this dip.

All right. For the Rocky people out there, I want to say the quote properly now because otherwise, we will get haters.

Oh, yeah. You love haters, though.

I’ll try to do the Rocky voice.

Okay, do it.

But I’m a Spanish guy living in Canada doing a Rocky voice.

He’s given us all prerequisites in case it doesn’t sound good.

In case, I fail.

All right.

It’s not good. I will accept my defeat. It goes, “See this guy right there? That’s the toughest opponent you ever going to have.” Why are you making me laugh? You make me screw out. That’s over that.

Do it again.

See this guy right here? That’s the toughest opponent you’re ever going to face. I believe that’s true in the ring, and true in life, by Rocky Balboa.

I really think that you should do that with his accent again.

I will do that on a live, on a private The Science Of Building Your Online Empire.

You never thought you would tune into this podcast, and here’s some Rocky quotes and impersonations, right?

We love Rocky. He’s the man.

He is the man.

What’s up?

Let’s talk about one of the last ones we’re going to really talk about what to do when you learn spectacularly is, how are you going to succeed in this business if you don’t have any failures, right? The best way to succeed is to try again. Try again.

Try again, try again. Just keep trying. Keep trying. Any great thing in life, the iPhone wasn’t perfect day one. In fact, it was actually not even that great. It was great. It was so much better than anything else. There was so many lessons to be taken from that. I mean, there’s so many things in this world that wouldn’t exist. Probably everything that you’re using right now would not exist if whoever created it didn’t keep trying, didn’t fail spectacularly, didn’t give themselves grace. All these rules that we told you, these are the rules of the successful. I want to understand. These aren’t things that we’re just creating, and inventing. Just spewing out just because we have to do it podcast episode.

These are things that we’ve learned over the years that have helped us grow these incredible businesses, through incredible books. One of the things that I love to do is I’ll read four, or five, six different books. Sometimes I’ll listen to them on Audible, which is an awesome site. What I like to do actually is I like to find. I don’t know if you do this. I like to find the commonalities between the books. I’ll see like, “Well, okay, every single book talks about this one specific thing. That must be important, right? That must be a thing. They’re all talking about that same thing, then that must be an important thing. Bring them back to topic, I really think that the best way for you to succeed is realize that you can just keep trying over and over again.

There’s infinite possibilities. This isn’t building a business. It’s not like a Mario game where you’ve only got three lives, and then game over. Start again from the beginning. Especially if you’re using an old game that can’t save, right? You can just try again. No one is going to care. I think a lot of times as well, people think that everyone’s going to remember your failures. Everyone’s going to hold all your failures against you. That’s simply not true. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. Most people do not remember the times that you fail. They only remember your successes. I bet you nobody knows listening, that I had a podcast before this podcast.

You did?

I bet you nobody knows that you had a podcast before this podcast. You probably even forgot, right? There’s all these things that lead to success. But you have to be okay with failing or you’ll never start.

This is something that you’ve brought up in some of our conferences that we’ve done is Muhammad Ali.

Muhammad Ali.

When he got knocked out.

When he got knocked out.

How many you guys remember that?

I remember that.

Yeah, but you remember. What do you remember? You remember float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. You remember all of his quotes. You remember?

Rumble, young man. Rumble. Oh, yeah. I’m getting fired up.

We’re on the boxing train today.

It’s funny because I just took Abby. I was just in the UK, so I just took Abby to get ice cream. I picked her up early from my parents. Then I took her for ice cream. On the wall of this place is called Skinners. Listen, if you ever come to Winnipeg, okay, you drive out to a city called Lockport. There’s this place called Skinners. There’s two of them. You go to the one by the dam, okay? The one by the dam is really, really cool. There’s photos of all these hockey players and really cool stuff. I don’t know if you know this, but Skinners is from the guy, Skinner, that used to be a hockey player, right? There’s all these hocks all over the place.

Abby is talking to me. She thinks we’re on a date, and she’s holding my hand. It’s all super cute. She start asking me about all these pictures. “Well, who’s that?” “Gordie Howe.” “Well. Who’s that? “Timmy salami.” “Oh, well, who’s that?” She’s asking all these things. One of them was Muhammad Ali.

Oh, really?

It’s so funny. He’s on the wall there, because these are just photos from this guy, the things he loved in sports, right?

Right, cool.

I totally lost track, but what were you talking about Muhammad Ali?

Most people don’t remember the times that he got knocked down.

How many fights did the guy lose? Don’t know, he was the greatest ever.

That’s the thing, right?

He lost a lot. Not a lot, but he lost.

His personality, and this is the thing you. When you create your brand, is your personality, right? I think that when you create a successful brand, because it is who you are, people are going to fall in love with you. They’re going to root for you. They’re going to want you to succeed. If you fail, they’re going to love you for it anyways.

I think that’s a huge one. I want you to understand. I want to recap, and then we’ll go to the challenge with Erin and I, give you guys a challenge.

Sure.

What I really want you to get out of this is I want you to understand right now, this moment, this second, if you’re not driving, I want you to do this exercise. If you are driving, then when you get home, do this exercise. I want you to close your eyes right now. While your eyes are closed, I want to take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. What I want you to understand is that everyone in the history of the world has failed. Number one. Number two, I want you to realize that you have already failed many, many times over in this world. Number three, I want you to realize that you’re still here. You’re still alive. You’re still standing. Nothing happened to you. You’re not dead.

You know what? You powered through. The faster that you can implement these five tips, the faster you’re going to succeed, I really think that we should all try and almost fail as fast as we possibly can, so that we learn as fast as we possibly can. So that as we learn as fast as we possibly can, we will succeed. This podcast is good. Maybe even some people have said it’s great, but it’s not the greatest, right? We know, though that two years down the road, we’re probably going to go back and listen to these podcast episodes.

Be like, “Wow, man. It sucked.”

Wow, that was terrible. That so bad. That’s okay because we’re never going to get to where you want to go if we never start. I pray for you guys, that you just realize that you just got to start. You just got to go. You got to find that fire in your belly and just make it happen. Just as Muhammad Ali would always say, rumble young man, rumble. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. I am the greatest. I knew it was the greatest before they said I was the greatest. All right, I got way more. I almost stop there.

Wow.

We’re going to the challenge. What’s the challenge for them?

We’ll start with challenge. My challenge for you guys today is to take one of your failures that you’re labeling as a failure in your life. It can be anything in your life, but I want you to take one of those failures. I need you to turn it into a learning activity. Maybe right now, there are some of you who are living in the canyon. You are living in the canyon of your failure. It is not serving anyone. You have this special light inside of you, and you are not serving anybody by playing small. You’re not serving anybody by living in that failure. What I want you to do is to relabel that that failure is a learning activity and really take a look at the steps that enabled you to get there. I just want you to change one of those things. Just change one of those things, and make a post about it on social media and tag us, because we want to know how you are implementing the strategies that we’re giving you in order to get out of the canyon, right?

I want you guys to use your learning experience. Even if you take a dip into the chasm, but we want you to spring shot out of there. We want you to succeed more in your own life and in your own business. The only way you’re going to do that is if you really take a look at your failures and relabel them as learning experiences.

I love it. At the end of the day, what we want you to do is to ditch the employee mindset.

And start living the boss life.

We’ll see you guys in the next episode.

Bye, guys.

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